It’s only Tuesday, and we have already been graced with two videos of animals who think they’re people. I wish every week started out like this.
First, can a pigeon really juggle a career AND find love? This fall on FOX, one bird proves it takes more than wings to get to the top and have it all! [via Buzzfeed]
The fact that the pigeon is nonchalantly riding the subway isn’t even the most impressive part. What got me is that the bird gave up its seat to an elderly woman. That bird has manners.
After the jump, see video of the coyote that is rumored to be the new head of the NYC Parks Department.
Oscar nominee Jeff Bridges is profiled in the new issue of GQ, and there something puzzling about the accompanying photo:
I’m no Annie Leibovitz, but there is a obviously a giant cactus in the way of the subject of the photo here. That’s just poor composition if you ask me.
Is the cactus a metaphor? Maybe it represents Jeff’s massive, long, throbbing film career. No, it’s probably just a mistake.
Are you suffering from a severe lack of new, non-Olympic entertainment the last two weeks? By any chance did that weird British brother-sister goth ice dance team’s routine to Linkin Park last night (yea, I watched. Whatever.) leave you nostalgic to catch up with an old nu-metal icon? Well Nick Kroll and Jon Daly are here to fill the emptiness in your life with a new Ed Hardy Boyz adventure featuring some sweet, sweet cameos:
[via The Daily What]
During Friday’s big Apology Tour 2010 kickoff event, Tiger Woods said he would turn to Buddhism to help him on his road to recovery. However, if Woods thinks he can just waltz past the velvet rope in to Club Karma, he just got a rude awakening from the doorman. According to People Magazine:
Not everyone caught that Tiger Woods press conference last week, starting with a major spiritual leader of the faith the golfer may use to help him cope with a sex scandal.
In what was described as a “brief interview,” the Dalai Lama told the Associated Press that he had never heard of Woods.
Oh snap! Sick burn, D.L.! Way to knock that guy down a few pegs.
Almost every news report since this scandal began made sure to point out that Woods is “the most recognizable athlete in the world,” but the Dalai Lama is basically the Tiger Woods of spiritual enlightenment (minus that busted moral compass). He can ignore any iconic billionaire he wants.
Sorry, Tiger. Maybe try down the block. I hear the China Club is slow this time of night.
I tried to log on to Rolling Stone’s website a little while ago to come up with some topical Justin Bieber references (ok, Lou Bega references actually), and was shocked to find their site had disappeared. After checking my spelling seven times, I started to wonder if such a magazine ever even existed in the first place or if the very idea was just a hallucination of mine stemming from a second helping of 5 Hour Energy cut with baby aspirin.
I was then relieved to find that Gawker confirmed the Rolling Stone website vanished from the internet today. If the site is back up by the time you read this, here is what I saw earlier:
Hopefully Ranger Rick Magazine isn’t going anywhere any time soon. Then we’d all be in trouble.
Team Canada’s crushing loss to Team USA in hockey last night was bad enough, but to make matters worse they did it in front of one of their most valuable exports, Will Arnett.
If I had been coaching Team Canada and found myself losing 3-2 after two periods, I would have pulled Arnett in the locker room before the 3rd period to give a fiery, impassioned speech that would have rallied the Canucks past the Americans and in to Canadian sports legend. However, I would have wasted most of the break by first grilling him about what is happening with the damn Arrested Development movie, already! That’s probably why I didn’t get the coaching job in the first place.
At least if the Canadians don’t win gold, they can look forward to a potential new Arnett-Hurwitz sitcom that will be unjustly cancelled too soon. That is what these Olympic Games are really about anyway.
The BAFTA Awards were held in London yesterday (BAFTA stands for “British Actors Freakin’ Talk Awesome” I believe), and among the many big celebrities on hand for the event was Robert Pattinson. The Twilight star did not hesitate to show photographers just why he is the future “Greatest Actor of Our Generation” title holder, as evidenced below:
[photos via Getty Images]
I happened upon some photos from an event last night celebrating the launch of a new music service called Guvera whose guests included Mos Def, Jim Jones, and legendary rocker Alice Cooper. Perhaps it was because I had politics on the brain thanks to Mitt Romney’s new hip hop gang war, but I couldn’t help but think Mr. Cooper looked exactly like another former Presidential hopeful: Senator John Kerry.
Could Alice Cooper actually be Senator Kerry in a wig and leather jacket? Think about it. When have you ever seen these two in the same place? NEVER! In the interest of political fairness, I will turn to you, the discerning readers, to decide.
I would ask Alice myself next time we have one of our many pickup roller lacrosse games, but I’m afraid he’ll do this to me (after the jump):
The National Enquirer, the number one source of news for people waiting to check out in the grocery store and not interested in the gum selection, is now eligible for journalism’s top honor: The Pulitzer Prize. The New York Times reports (very begrudgingly, I assume):
The Pulitzer Prize administrators have decided that The National Enquirer is eligible to compete for the awards, a person briefed on the matter said Thursday.
Enquirer editors said they had submitted an entry before the Feb. 1 deadline for their work on the John Edwards scandal, but it was not clear whether the publication qualified for the Pulitzers, widely considered the most coveted honor for American newspapers.
I know the Enquirer broke the whole Edwards affair story, but it took forever for anyone to actually believe them. That is their own fault. They fire out fake stories left and right about who is cheating on who with another fat celebrity getting plastic surgery on their death bed, so it was hard to take them seriously when they did have a real story.
Now that they are Pulitzer eligible, “legitimate” news organizations have to be fuming. This is like the news equivalent of some goth in high school trying out for the football team to the behest of all the real jocks, and then turning out to be really good at one winning play. It gives hope to me though. Perhaps one day one of my posts here will somehow be eligible for a Peabody or a Grammy or some kind of prestigious unnecessary lengthy metaphor award. A guy can dream.
As reports surface that Conan O’Brien may be doing some live stage shows this summer, NBC has rolled out a pants-wettingly hilarious new promo for Jay Leno‘s return to The Tonight Show, seen below:
I actually got my hands on the original, longer version of the promo (I have a guy inside NBC. He lives in the air conditioning ducts). This is how the spot should have ended:
Good thing Kevin Eubanks didn’t ride shotgun.