Posts By glazere

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Menopause Looks AWESOME!!!

Everything I learned about menopause I learned from The Golden Girls, so, yeah, not too much. But what I know now is that menopause looked Rita Daniels in the face, and she looked back and smiled, all witchy-like a knowing.

Actually, it looked like this:


Much like Aaliyah, 71-year-old Rita Daniels believes age ain’t nothin’ but a number.

Get this: Daniels was arrested for getting dirty in the back of her Buick with a guy she picked up at a bar. Of course, that’s not grounds for arrest, but they did get thrown in the clink for indecent exposure and public drunkenness. It should also be noted that her license plate reads “DIVA145,” and that she and Tim Adams (who is seventeen years her junior, FTW) had the cops called on them because they were getting their freak on in a restaurant parking lot IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY.

So, if you’re a gal who’s afraid everything’s just going to shrivel up when The Big M comes knocking, don’t jump to conclusions. Take Rita Daniels’s advice: jump on a guy you met at a bar, and then drive to a parking lot and go nuts on each other in the back of a Buick. (Just don’t be as drunk as they were, and also maybe try to make sure a ten-year-old kid isn’t watching nearby, because that makes things REALLY complicated.)

[The Smoking Gun via Gawker]

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Mariah Confirms Duet With Bieber, Acts Nuts

Big news in the music world: Mariah Carey is preparing to duet with Justin Bieber on an updated version of her Christmas classic, “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” in time for the release of his holiday album, due in November.

Bigger news: Mariah filled us in on the details in a video she posted to her Twitter in which she acts strangely accusatory and mildly erratic (not TRL-erratic, but still #yikes). We get it, Mimi: you’re fabulous. We see your ring! Very cool shoes! All good things! We’re very excited for the song, too, but go ahead and sit down. Take a load off. COOL OUT PLEASE.

[via ONTD]

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When “Martha Plimpton” Met “Chloe Sevigny”

There really aren’t that many things in this world that are better than YouTube phenomenon Drew Droege doing an “impression” of Chloe Sevigny that is both accurate and inaccurate. It’s hard to really separate what is a Chloe-ism and what is a Drew-ism, so to speak, when you watch the guy dress up as the indie starlet, but no matter: you’ll still watch the whole damn thing.

It seems as if the faux-ie Chloe has spurned another like-minded dude-as-a-lady thing. This time, there’s a boy named David Craig who — like Droege — kinda dresses up to play Martha Plimpton, another indie gem who, even on Raising Hope, somehow evades the mainstream garbage like a pro. Dude not only nails it, but he has finally allowed for “Chloe” and “Martha” to meet, and it is glorious.

Takeaway line: “Who’s the boss now?”

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The 15 Pop Culture Costumes Everyone Will Be Wearing This Halloween

2011 has been one nutty year. We’ve seen President Obama carry out the murder of the world’s most wanted criminal. We’ve seen a movie allegedly about sewing people to other people’s butts become a thing. And we’ve seen Lady Gaga become a dude.

Needless to say, LOTS OF STUFF has happened in popular culture that could carry over to your Halloween costume come October 31st. Here are fifteen essential ideas:

15. Zombie Andy Rooney (or, y’know, Andy Rooney)

14. One of the chairs from The Voice

Read more…

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Watch Oprah Cuss Out Lady Gaga

Oprah: “B*tch, just tell me why in the hell you are so damn crazy?”
Lady Gaga: “I’m not that damn crazy.”
Oprah: “B*tch, yes you are, you’re crazy as hell. Last night, I saw your ass dancing butt naked at the awards.
Lady Gaga: “I trying to get myself straightened out.”
Oprah: “B*tch, please! Get off my goddamned show.”

Just a chat between friends!

 

 

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AWKWARD: Barbara Walters Kept Saying The N-Word On The View, And Sherri Didn’t Like It

Considering the hoopla surrounding the debate about the name of Governor Rick Perry‘s former hunting grounds (sorry, racists, but we’re still too weirded out to actually write it here) (JK YOU’RE NOT RACIST, IT’S OKAY!!!), it was high time to get knee-deep into some incredibly awkward TV punditry.

And of all people to imagine sputtering out the N-word, even in this particularly taboo context, who would have guessed that it would fall on BARBARA WALTERS? The Grande Dame of The View took to the stage to intellectually ponder the validity of the news, asking whether the inclusion of an epithet in the name of a place frequented by a wannabe POTUS is means for finger-pointing.

But, uh, Barbara basically said the N-word. More than once. Whoopi could care less (#LOL), but Sherri got visibly upset. All in all, it’s basically the most interesting thing to happen on daytime TV since Rosie O’Donnell farted out “Rose’s Turn.”

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When Ricky Gervais And Johnny Depp Hang Out, They Do Bad Things To Little People

Ricky Gervais is back on Twitter, where’s he giving us a peek into the goings-on on the set of his new show, Life’s Too Short.

So far, the most important thing we know is that, at some point, Gervais and Johnny Depp may have put actor Willow Warwick Davis into a toilet. Gervais claimed this was meant to protect the diminutive star from mice.

In other words, you don’t want to get on this guy’s bad side, although the Hollywood Foreign Press Association could have told you that.

[via The FW]

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Taco Bell Dorito Real And Available In Southern California

Big news! BIG, BIG NEWS! #DORITO NEWS!

If you live anywhere near Fresno or Bakersfield, California, YOU. CAN. FINALLY. BUY. THE. DORITO-SHELLED TACO SHELL WE TOLD YOU ABOUT LAST MONTH!

It’s called the Doritos Tacos Locos, and it is available for human consumption in a “trial run” that should last until everyone we know tries it and spreads it to every damn Taco Bell in this great country of ours.

George Washington would have wanted it that way, right?

In related news, does anyone else smell toast?

[via L.A. Times]