Do you guys like the internet? What’s that, you don’t? Oh well, move along then, nothing to see here!
Now that we got rid of those bozos, we’re pretty sure that we can all agree that the internet is a magical and wonderful place, filled with cute animal videos, porn, and more cute animal videos. There’s only one problem with the internet: It’s too big!
To help combat this problematic issue of having too many awesome things on the internet and not nearly enough time to digest them all, we are thrilled to present to you the very first installment of Gabe & Max Like The Internet, a weekly show that will cover the best and worst that the internet has to offer. The program is hosted by the talented duo of Gabe Delahaye (Videogum) and Max Silvestri (one of New York Magazine’s Ten Comedians That Funny People Find Funny), who you’ll remember from Gabe & Max’s Guide to Man Style and “Gabe and Max’s How To Get the Dreamlife of Your Dreams Using the Internet.” And now that we’ve got the intros out of the way, there’s nothing left to do but for you to enjoy!
While the negative effects of smoking marijuana have been portrayed on film for over seventy years, the current age of stoner-friendly cinema can largely be credited to one Judd Apatow. As the unofficial ringleader of the Frat Pack, he wrote, directed and produced a veritable bumper crop of pro-Mary Jane films over the last half-dozen years or so. Films like Knocked Up, Pineapple Express and Superbad worked very hard to smash the stigma that the Reagan administration attached to the cannabis plant, and their tremendous success at the box office unquestionably played a role (albeit, likely, a minor one) in the “Legalize It” movement that is slowly gaining steam in both Red and Blue states.
Although Apatow had nothing to do with this weekend’s release of the latest entrant in the stoner-friendly canon, the medieval fantasy Your Highness (get it?), we here at TheFABLife figured now is as good a time as any to countdown our all-time, Top 25 fictional stoners in cinematic history. From the trailblazing likes of Cheech Marin to the nonsense-spewing Jay of Clerks fame, from the highly paranoid/confessional behavior of Nicole Kidman’s character in Eyes Wide Shut to the perpetually buzzed Wooderson in Dazed and Confused, we hope you enjoy this look at cinema’s most baked characters, maaaaaan!
“Hey,” you may find yourself wondering from time to time, “how come none of the superheroes in these big budget Hollywood movies are women, MANNNN?” Well, while the big studios are still spooked by the dismal box office performance of Jennifer Garner’s Elektra back in 2005, network execs whose playground is the small screen are still willing to take bets on the genre. Case in point, NBC has greenlit a Wonder Woman pilot, one that’s helmed by David E. Kelley and starring Adrianne Palicki, Elizabeth Hurley and Cary Elwes. Not exactly a Murderer’s Row of thespians, exactly, but it’ll do!
So, while we wait with baited breath to see if David E. Kelley can reverse his decade-long streak of creating terrible television programs, we can at least begin debating the merits (or lack thereof) of the new Wonder Woman outfit. Pictured, at left, is the first official image of Adrianne Palicki, former star of Friday Night Lights, as the new owner of the world’s most renowned Bulletproof Bracelets. And at right, naturally, is Lynda Carter, who utilized the Lasso of Truth to defeat countless misogynistic creeps during the four-year run of Wonder Woman from 1975-1979.
Where to start, WHERE TO START?
That’s the way you do it, that’s the way you
debate host Saturday Night Live! Despite the fact that we didn’t see a reprisal of last year’s best SNL sketch, “Pageant Talk,” Zach Galifianakis proved himself worthy of an express lane pass to the Five Timers Club with his hosting work over the weekend. His opening monologue — only part of which NBC has made available online — was pitch perfect, and he was able to confidently and charismatically play the lead in a number of awesomely bizarre sketches (including “Noodles,”which was so blue that NBC has thus far refused to put it online). Much like Jim Carrey, Zach is one of those crazy talented performers that could be an SNL cast member if he wanted to, but we’ll be content if he instead settles on coming back to host once a year (a la Jon Hamm).
Way more divisive, however, were the opinions on Dr. Luke’s newest protégé, Jessie J. The fact that she’s got a big voice and killer stems is undeniable, but her performance (at least to me!) came across like Natasha Bedingfield on a fistful of bennies. However, based on a quick search of Vevo, her music is apparently quite popular with the kids these days (26 million views for “Price Tag” alone). Would anyone care to explain exactly what her deal is?
In an outstanding interview with Mike Ryan of Movieline.com, the supremely talented yet still polarizing SNL star Kristen Wiig admits that some of her characters aren’t as well-received by the public at large as others. Take Gilly, for example, arguably the most annoying recurring character on the show over the last few seasons. “I mean, the first time that I did [Gilly],” Wiig states, “my mom, the next day was like, ‘Oh, I did not like that. That new character you did, I did not like her!'” Pretty harsh, Mom!
However, Wiig isn’t the kind of performer who lets something like a little negative feedback — even when it’s coming from the woman who gave birth to her — drag her down. “People are going either going to love it or they are not going to love it. But I can’t think about that stuff when I’m writing something. You know, it’s great when they like it, but, if they don’t, they have their right to not like it … If you’re creating anything at all, it’s really dangerous to care about what people think.”
While we certainly respect and admire the level of self-confidence it takes to put yourself out on the line in front of millions of viewers each time a performer steps on the boards of Studio 8H, we’d be perfectly content if another Gilly sketch never made it to air. Speaking of which, as we get prepped for tomorrow night’s Zach Galifianakis/Jessie J episode, we thought we’d throw a question out to you, the loyal, well-informed and extremely opinionated BWE reader: Who are your least favorite recurring characters on SNL, both now and in the entire history of the show? You know where to respond, so let’s get to it!
When we last saw Audrina Patridge, she was competing on Dancing With The Stars and looked as if she had been forced by producers to bathe in a pool of bronzer. However, when the 2010 FABLife Bikini Queen was snapped by the paparazzi in Palm Beach while filming her upcoming VH1 show, Audrina, the former star of The Hills appeared as if she had finally kicked her spray tan addiction. Now if only we could convince Snooki to do the same!
Audrina’s new show debuts on VH1 on Sunday, April 17 at 9/8c. In addition to these fourth-wall breaking bikini pics, we’ve got a trailer for the new show for you after the jump!
While watching this weekend’s episode of Saturday Night Live, a sensation not unlike déjà vu washed over me. At first, it was tough to place, considering Miley Cyrus had never before hosted the show. However, by the time the “Les Jeunes de Paris” sketch came around, I figured it out: The show’s writers gave Miley basically the same material to perform as they did when Emma Stone hosted SNL back in October. Careful watchers will note that both did Lindsay Lohan impressions, both danced it up with Taran Killam, and Lorne even decided to rerun the “Baby Spanx” commercial that first aired during Stone’s ep. What gives?
Well, it’s probably this: Although I love Emma Stone’s work in film, both her and Cyrus demonstrated during their respective hosting stints that they’re not natural sketch comediennes. I can only assume that the writers panicked a bit when Cyrus showed up early last week to begin preparing for the show, as they relied on her ability to sing (however thinly) as a crutch repeatedly during the episode. She wasn’t exactly January Jones terrible, mind you, but it will likely be some time before she’s invited back to host again.
Waaah-hoooo! On the cover of the new issue of Rolling Stone, America’s favorite pickle addict/diminuitive star of the Jersey Shore, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, is pretty clearly paying tribute to Slim Pickens’ famed rocket ride from the stone classic 1964 film, Dr. Strangelove or: How I Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love The Bomb. That said, we’re fairly confident that this Stanley Kubrick reference was lost on our gal Snooks.
In a video interview taken during the cover shoot (which we’ve got for you below), she compares the rocket ship she’s straddling to Seabiscuit, but not because of the extreme speed with which both the rocket and the famous equine moved. Nope, “Seabiscuit” is a reference to the size of her housemate Vinny’s, um, “ding dong” (her words, not ours). Glad we got that clarification! As the interview continues, she also discusses what life is really like inside the Jersey Shore house (“It’s just like prison, with cameras”), as well as her aspirations for life after the show (“What I’d like is to turn out like Jessica Simpson, with her whole brand. She makes millions”), among other bits of Snooki-related marginalia.
Oh, and did we mention she deep throats a pickle, too?
The financial troubles of the porn industry were recently chronicled in a New York magazine cover story called “The Geek Kings of Smut.” In the piece, porn moguls like Steven Hirsch of Vivid decried not only the explosion of amateur porn, but also so-called “tube sites,” described by the magazine as “YouTube-like repositories of content that is often free, and often pirated.” So now that anyone with a webcam is now able to make (and publish!) their own porn to horny, hairy-palmed dudes the world over, how are the denizens of the San Fernando Valley going to continue to make themselves enough money to keep themselves rolling in tacky jewelry, lucite heels and hard narcotics? Besides a grant from Charlie Sheen, that is? Two words: porn parodies!
Earlier today, our friends over at Splitsider alerted us to the tremendous news that a Community porn parody* is now in the works. Not surprising, we suppose, especially considering that Reservoir Dogs and the Justice League of America were both turned into porn parodies in the last week.
When we saw pregnant Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kim Zolciak posing for the cover of In Touch Weekly wearing what looked to be a hand-me down bra and a weird pair of sheer panties last week, we immediate thought to ourselves, “That woman has no shame!” After the shock wore off, we began thinking: A) What other celebrities have flaunted their baby bumps on the cover of national magazines and B) Was their pursuit of fame more naked than their actual bodies?
Well, as we discovered during an intense round of research, there are two types of celebrities who use their unborn children to score themselves more publicity: the Prudes and the Shameless. Not every pregnant celebrity wants to pull a Demi Moore, you see. Some, like Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Celine Dion, don’t want to offend their base by showing too much skin. Others, like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera, clearly see Moore’s famous Vanity Fair cover as a necessary (and fun!) step in advancing one’s career and deem it necessary to push cultural boundaries. So, what do your favorite celebrities score on either the Prude Meter™ or Shameless Meter™? There’s only way to find out!