Posts By Mark Graham

by (@unclegrambo)

SNL Power Rankings: Think There’s Any Chance We Can Convince Anne Hathaway To Join The Cast Full-Time?

There was a time not so long ago when I was convinced that Anne Hathaway was the WORST. Sure, her willingness to get naked at the drop of a hat has always been a reason not to entirely write her off, but all the while she was dating that shady hedge fund con man dude there was something totally off-putting emanating from her. (Plus, I saw her on the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards a few years back and she was kind of acting like a huge you-know-what). It wasn’t until she hosted SNL for the first time two years ago that I actually realized that she had a personality, good comedic timing and some pipes to boot.

So, natch, it was with great anticipation that I watched this weekend’s episode. Based on the hilarious previews, I figured that the show would be pretty good, but I had no idea that it would turn out as well as it did. During her two appearances on the show, Hathaway has, dare I say, established herself as the best young female host* that has graced the stage of Studio 8H in some time. Her Katie Holmes impression ALONE earned her the right to come back and host again; hope you were taking notes, Emma Stone. Additionally, she showed off her impressive vocal prowess with a knock ‘em down take on “Over The Rainbow,” and her work as a stressed (and meth’d?) housewive in the MegaMart Black Friday sketch was perfectly manic. Hey Lorne, think there’s any chance we can have Hathaway back to host again this season?

So, we’re all agreed that Hathaway rules, but what about the rest of the cast? Follow along for our weekly look at who’s in and out of Dr. Evil Lorne’s doghouse, Bwe.tv’s SNL Power Rankings.

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by (@unclegrambo)

Five Questions: Rihanna

Rihanna‘s new album, Loud, just came out this week and, if predictions are to be trusted, it looks like it will sit atop the Billboard 200 next week. No matter what happens with her album sales, she can rest peacefully tonight knowing that her latest single, “Only Girl (In The World),” is sitting in the Number 1 spot in our VH1 Top 20 Video Countdown. We recently sat down with our girl RiRi and asked her to answer Five Questions, some of which came from us and some of which came from you, the readership. Take a gander and find out, among other things, who Rihanna would really like to collaborate with (that is, should technology improve dramatically and the dead are able to come back to life).

by (@unclegrambo)

The BBC Isn’t Ready For Beyonce’s Jelly As Her New Perfume Ad Gets Banned

Jay-Z once proclaimed that his wife (then girlfriend!), Beyonce, was the “hottest chick in the game,” so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that B has been declared too hot for British television. According to those gutterpunks over at the Daily Mail, a thirty-second advertisement for Miss Knowles’ perfume, Heat, has been banned from their airwaves for being too racy. The Advertising Standards Authority, which serves in a similar role in England as the FCC does Stateside, had this to say about the commercial: “Although we considered that the ad was unlikely to be harmful to adults or older children, we considered that Beyonce’s body movements and the camera’s prolonged focus on shots of her dress slipping away created a sexually provocative ad that was unsuitable to be seen by young children.”

After having watched the commercial ourselves, it’s definitely the sexiest perfume ad since Antonio Banderas hawked his own brand of eau de toilette, but we remain unconvinced that it was sexy enough to ban. However, there was one thing that stuck out to us about it: Maybe we’ve just never noticed it before, but based on this commercial, it looks as if Beyonce’s got breast implants to rival Blake Lively’s. Just us?

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by (@unclegrambo)

More Like Bruce Memesteen, Amirite?

As a long time fan of Bruce Springsteen, nothing excites me more than a Springsteen media blitz. Whether he’s gabbing with Dave Letterman or crotchsliding his way into our nation’s living rooms during the Super Bowl, my general rule is that I can never have too much Bruce in my life, especially now that the E-Street Band seems to be on hiatus.

This week, The Boss released The Promise, an album that consists of 21 outtakes and alternate versions of tracks from his seminal 1977 release, Darkness On The Edge Of Town, which is intended as a companion piece to the recent HBO documentary of the same name. As a means of promoting it, he appeared on both NPR’s Fresh Air and Late Night With Jimmy Fallon yesterday, the latter of which produced a moment of undeniable awesomeness, but also one that has me semi-conflicted. Here’s the moment in question, where “Neil Young” and Bruce duet on Willow Smith’s timeless anthem about the need to struggle when confronted by the oppressive behavior of one’s tormentors, “Whip My Hair.”

Pretty great, right? OR WAS IT?!?

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by (@unclegrambo)

SNL Power Rankings: Scarlett Johansson Runs The Only Accent She Can Do Into The Ground

There was a time, around the middle of the last decade, when there were few people alive who could stack up against the radiant sexuality of Scarlett Johansson. Between Ghost World, Lost in Translation and Match Point, it seemed as if she would be the kind of husky-voiced siren who would be a silver screen staple for many moons to come. However, over the last five years or so, something shifted and Scarlett lost a significant amount of her luster. So much so, in fact, that she doesn’t even have a project to promote this holiday season which, oddly enough, didn’t proclude SNL‘s bookers from giving her a third chance to host the show.

Sadly, as Michelle pointed out this morning, it didn’t exactly go over like hotcakes those awesome looking new pancake/sausage bites from Dunkin’ Donuts. Multiple sketches resulted in her falling back on her Bronx by way of New Jersey accent, and her performance in “Stars of Tomorrow” nearly derailed an excellent performance by Vanessa Bayer. The only good news is this: Now that she’s only two hosting gigs away from joining the illustrious Five Timers Club, we’re guessing that Lorne won’t give her another chance to host until she’s done something to earn it.

But how did the rest of the cast fare? Follow along for our weekly look at who’s in and out of Lorne’s doghouse, Bwe.tv’s SNL Power Rankings.

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by (@unclegrambo)

Best Quiz Ever: SNL Quotes From The 80s

We know that many of you who read this blog weren’t even born in the 1980s, so here’s hoping you’ve caught some reruns over the years!

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by (@unclegrambo)

Things That Didn’t Exist Until Now: The Ultimate David Lee Roth Karate Kick Compilation

I think we can all agree that the Internet is a magical place that rarely lets us down, but a few weeks ago, I felt a crushing wave of hopelessness wash over me when I searched for “David Lee Roth Karate Kick Videos” and discovered that a compilation video like this did not exist (at least, not that I could find). Sure, David Lee Roth isn’t exactly a name that gets the hearts of either today’s tweens or US Weekly subscribers thumping, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t hold a special place in all of our hearts. In fact, it would be difficult to argue that there is any other rocker ALIVE who looked as gracefully flexible while wearing skintight (and often shredded) spandex as Diamond Dave did. So, as a means of honoring the most balletic and enduring rock and roll icon of the eighties AND helping to make sure future generations don’t experience the same disappointment I did on that terrible Friday afternoon a few weeks back, our own Pete Schultz put together the following clip that’s about to blow your mind. You’re welcome, Internet; don’t say we never did anything for you!

by (@unclegrambo)

Imagining Future POTUS Sean Duffy’s All Real World Cabinet

It’s been a long, long time since we actively watched a new season of the Real World. In fact, looking back over a list of Real World seasons, the Real World: San Diego cast was the last one that we could name multiple cast members from without any sort of assistance. That said, our knowledge and love of the show’s first 14 or so seasons is beyond compare, which is why we were so delighted to learn that RW: Boston‘s Sean Duffy was elected to the House of Representatives on Tuesday.

Now, we’ll readily admit that we weren’t exactly Poli-Sci majors in undergrad or anything, but we’re pretty sure that this means Sean Duffy will be elected President of the United States some day (which, in an awesome twist, means that our First Lady will be a former fling of Puck’s). Once elected, one of his first jobs will be to put together a Cabinet of trusted associates. Knowing how busy the life of a President can be AND how thick the bond is between members of the Real World fraternity is, we thought we’d take some time to help him with some suggestions for who he can tap to serve faithfully alongside him.

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by (@unclegrambo)

Dana Carvey Threatens To Overtake Robin Williams As Most Annoying Talk Show Guest Ever

Do you ever get overwhelmed by your DVR? Like, you’re sitting there on your couch, you open up your list of unwatched shows and there are like four unwatched episodes of Cougar Town sitting there, mocking you? That happened to me on Sunday, but instead of letting it get me down, I barreled through the clutter of my DVR like C. Thomas Howell in Tank. I watched Real Housewives, I caught up on The Office and I even cleared out a few episodes of Late Night With Jimmy Fallon.

Anyway, now that you have some context about why I’m talking about something that happened last Thursday night today, I thought I’d bring up Dana Carvey‘s recent appearance on LNWJF. I couldn’t tell you what he was promoting, exactly, but the very second he caught sight of the cameras, he managed to morph himself into a whirling dervish of such annoying proportions that even Robin Williams would’ve been like, “Dude, you need to chill.” It’s clearly been ages since Carvey has had a camera trained on him for this amount of time, and sadly, he let it get to him: Not content with having two entire segments all to himself (!), he also interrupted the poor Ghost Hunters (whoever they are!) on multiple occasions, hogging the spotlight like it was his JOB. It’s not that we don’t have a soft spot for Hans and Franz, “Choppin’ Broccoli,” or the Church Lady, but Carvs, we beg of you, dial it down a notch or two next time!