Yes yes, we know, we’re just as sick of talking about the 2010 Video Music Awards as you are. THAT SAID! We were watching the show again last night — clearly, we’re gluttons for punishment — and noticed something that we didn’t initially process on Sunday night. Namely, that Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola of Jersey Shore fame looked, to quote Zoolander, “really, really, ridiculously good looking.” But did she look too good-looking?
We’re not sure if it was the lighting, her makeup, or the particular blend of her spray tan that night, but there was definitely something different about the Jersey Shore cast member. Considering that cameras have been filming everyone’s favorite guidos since February pretty much non-stop, we can’t (and won’t!) say with any certainty that Sammi has had work done (though commenters on both Television Without Pity and Long Island Families aren’t exactly holding back their opinions). Instead, we’ve put together a few snaps of Sammi that range from the glorious day that that the Jersey Shore cast members were first introduced until the present day. What conclusions do YOU draw?
After a triumphant, transcendant, and tranny-free episode of Jersey Shore aired on Thursday night — some say the best episode of the show’s relatively lackluster second season — we found ourselves once again watching our fair guidos stumbling in their attempts to conquer M.I.A. last night. With the exception of Angelina and DJ Pauly D, everyone seems to be down on their luck: After failing to convert in the bedroom, The Situation was left in the unenviable position of eating an early morning egg sandwich while watching Pauly D romp in the sack not five feet away from him; Snooki got bonked in the schnozz with an errant volleyball; the Vin Man got stood up; Sammi Sweetheart, Ron Ron and J-WOWW barely left their bedrooms. Fortunately, Vinny’s Uncle Nino showed up on the scene to contribute some My Blue Heaven-esque nyuk nyuk moments, so all was not lost. So, fellow juiceheads, please follow along as we count down this week’s Jersey Shore Top Ten Catchphrase Countdown.
Tired of being disappointed by big-budget box office bombs? If so, consider trying an indie movie on for size the next time you get a hankering to catch a movie. If that sort of mood washes over you anytime soon, might we suggest looking up show times of The Romantics at a theater near you courtesy of your Samsung Epic™ 4G? Speaking of which, our own Janell Snowden caught up with the film’s stars Katie Holmes — she’s tall! — and Malin Akerman earlier this week at the film’s New York City premiere. Check out what they had to say to us below!
You guys like Broadway, don’t you? Wait, what’s that? The last thing you saw on Broadway was Cats? For shame! Well, the visionary (and quite divatastic) creative mastermind Julie Taymor is hoping all that will change when her troubled production of Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark opens up later this year (fingers crossed)! This ambitious and wildly expensive show has been delayed more times than we can count — we only have so many fingers and toes, you know — but the appearance of star Reeve Carney on Good Morning America this morning has got to be some sort of positive indication that this thing is actually going to happen someday, right?
So, why would you go see Spiderman on Broadway versus any of the other numerous movie-to-musical translations clogging up the Great White Way these days? Well, producers are betting that an original score co-written by Bono and The Edge will get people excited. The aforementioned Carney performed one of these bombastic new songs, “Boy Falls From the Sky,” this morning. As Vulture astutely pointed out earlier, the guitar riff that anchors the song sounds suspiciously like the riff from “Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me”, U2’s contribution to the Batman Forever soundtrack. That said, this song shows promise and, surprisingly, is nowhere near as disastrous as the whispers tipped it to be. As long as Taymor doesn’t decide to incorporate a number based on Tobey Maguire’s jazzbo freakout from Spiderman 3 into the production, we’re pretty confident that Spider-Man will turn out to be nowhere near as embarrassing as American Idiot!
Okay, legitimate Jersey Shore related question for you, the
listening reading audience: What differences, if any, are there between the action verbs smush, smash and smoosh? We have watched — with intense focus and passion, mind you — every single episode of this wonderous gift from the reality television gods and we are still not entirely sure what context calls for the usage of “smash” versus one for “smoosh.” We are nothing if not cultural anthropologists, so if anyone is reading who hails from the Garden State can rectify, we would be most appreciative. Related: We are also curious as to why the phrase “pound out” — one of the staples of Season One — has been ditched from the guido lexicon, and also when the right situation is for saying “Getting it in” versus smush/smash/smoosh. If you can help, please do so in the comments.
Now, on with the show! The Jersey Shore Top Ten Catchphrase Countdown, as always, lies below…
Politics, man. So boring, right? WRONG! Meet Phil Davison, resident of Stark County, OH, and prospective Republican nominee for Treasurer of said county. While most local politicians ascend to government office based on a combination of experience, connections and good fortune, our new hero Phil Davison attempted to win over the voters of Stark County the old-fashioned way; namely, by penning a speech so moving, so powerful, so full of oratory grace that Patrick Henry himself would rise from the grave, initiate a slow clap to end all slow claps, then cast a ballot for Davison before crumbling into a jealous pile of dust.
Sadly for Davison (but happily for us!), in order to overcome his somewhat shaky command of his talking points and general nervousness at the podium, he decided to give his speech while SPEAKING AS LOUDLY AS POSSIBLE, like some sort of unholy offspring of the Ultimate Warrior and Inspirational Speaker Matt Foley. Now, thanks to the magic of embeddable video, seemingly innocuous phrases such as “I HAVE A MASTER’S DEGREE IN COMMUNICATION!” and “IN THE MIDDLE OF DIFFICULTY LIES OPPORTUNITY!” have become the stuff of Internet lore, thanks to Davison’s ALL CAPS vocal stylings.
Oh, btw, we have no idea who Randy Gonzalez is, but we do know this: he better be sure to sleep with one eye open tonight. SNAP INTO A SLIM JIM!
[hat tip to Videogum]
rnrnNow that summer is drawing to a close, it’s time to start putting away your summer clothes and breaking out your fall gear. Say bye bye to shorts and swimsuits and hello to sweaters and jeans. And now, thanks to VH1 and Dove®, we’ve got an opportunity that ought to help you embrace that Back To School spirit, no matter your age. We’re teaming up to give one lucky winner a grand prize that’s worth $4000, one that will make the recipient’s life better in every single way. The “My _____ Got Better” sweepstakes is made up of four distinct categories, each of which is meant to help enrich a specific facet of your life:rnrn Read more…
Let’s face it. Our lives are barely worth living during the times when the Amazing Race is on hiatus. Rarely an evening goes by when we don’t find ourselves bolting upright from our slumber, screaming out for one more glimpse at Phil Keoghan’s raised eyebrow. If you suffer from the same affliction, we have good news for you: A new season of the Amazing Race starts on Sunday, September 26! Speaking of which, our buddy James Hubbard over at the Hollywood Reporter tipped us off about the video from the new season that you see above, a terrifying moment in which a contestant on the show finds herself knocked silly after a catapult challenge involving watermelons goes awry. Gallagher, you’ve done it again!
And, lest you think we’ve forgotten about the scene of Phil in his skivvies from a few seasons back, we haven’t! Click through for a hilarious GIF from one of our favorite moments in television history.
Enjoying the Labor Day weekend? Well, depending on the weather in your neighborhood, it’s not too late to check out Going The Distance, the new romantic comedy starring Drew Barrymore and Justin Long. At the world premiere of the film in Los Angeles last week, our own Janell Snowden — armed, as always, with her her trusty Samsung Epic™ 4G — caught up with Jimmy Fallon (who, once upon a time, starred opposite Drew in a romantic comedy himself!), Airborne Toxic Event and co-star Natalie Morales. Check out their thoughts on the film below!
We’re six episodes into the second season of Jersey Shore and we’re STILL talking about this stupid note? As the late, great Aaliyah would say, “We need a resolution!” Sadly, most of the fireworks happened at the end of this episode — gotta love Sammi Sweetheart’s right cross! — but there were still a slew of notable moments in this episode, covering the gamut from Situation flirting with a tranny to Vinny’s watermelon sized dong. Join us, won’t you, as we count down this week’s Top Ten Catchphrases from Jersey Shore?
10) “She thinks her sh*t don’t stink. So I paid her no attention.” —The Situation
Hmmmm, that’s not exactly how we saw it. While Sitch, Vinny and DJ Pauly D were scarfing down some brunch at the News Cafe — a restaurant, mind you, whose website automatically plays Pachelbel’s Canon in D major when you visit it (!!!) — some anonymous honey wearing short shorts walked by the table, catching their eye. We guess that when he said “paid her no attention,” Sitch really meant “stared at her ass until she vacated the premises.”
9) “I can see Angelina’s cougah in the mirror.” —DJ Pauly D
Fortunately for all of us in the viewing audience at home, we couldn’t.