Posts By Mark Graham

by (@unclegrambo)

Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro” Video Shocks Us, Shocks Us, Shocks Us With Its Deviant Behavior

When a :30 clip of strong>Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro” videodebuted on the Larry King Live show last week, the artist formerly known as Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta promised everyone’s favorite suspender-clad senior citizen that the full-length video would sport a “homoerotic military theme.” While that’s certainly an apt description, Gaga’s latest epic contains so many taboo-goosing moments that her place as music’s reigning Queen of Controversy will be secure for months to come.

When Gaga isn’t busy sitting in a dilapidated, Edward Scissorhands-inspired castle watching a gaggle of shirtless men with haircuts by Moe Howard dance the lambada outside of her window, she takes a calculated swipe at the Catholic church by deepthroating rosary beads and wearing a Papal number that features an upside-down cross on her crotch (zing?). Not content with merely incensing religious groups, her passionate, S&M fueled makeout sesh with a dude sporting fishnets and high heels is sure to get Red Staters nine kinds of fired up. And oh, lest we forget, she also wears a bra outfitted with twin M16 machine guns while dancing with a crew of gents dressed not unlike the Gestapo! (And, dare we ask, what is that powdery white residue on the glass table in the video’s opening moments?)

Now, clearly, this isn’t the first time that Gaga has stoked the fires of controversy in her music videos. Nor, we hope, will it be her last. However, it’s clear to most anyone who watches the “Alejandro” video that Gaga has gone to new lengths to provoke her staunchest critics (including, apparently, Katy Perry!). The question to you, dear reader, is this: Do you think she’s finally gone too far? Or do you think that Gaga is just being Gaga by pushing everyone’s hot buttons? Weigh in below in our Comments section.

Related: The 20 Most Shocking Scenes From Lady Gaga’s ‘Alejandro’ Video [MTV Buzzworthy]

by (@unclegrambo)

Catching Up With American Idol Champ Lee DeWyze

When Lee DeWyze was named this year’s American Idol over the odds-on favorite Crystal Bowersox on Wednesday night, he looked to be just as shocked as the rest of us. After an emotional performance of U2′s “Beautiful Day” (complete with confetti streaming down from the rafters of the IdolDome), we were able to catch up with the favorite son of Illinois — sorry Abe Lincoln, your time has passed — and chat with him a bit about how surreal his moment of victory was and what his upcoming plans for the summer are.

by (@unclegrambo)

Grease Sing-A-Long Coming Soon To A City Near You!

With Memorial Day fast approaching, our minds are naturally turning towards “Summer Nights.” Not just as a rough concept, mind you; we’re talking, of course, about Grease! The timeless film is surely one of those rare movies that you and your friends not only know all the words to, but also enjoy singing along with every time that you watch it. Well, Grease fans, you’re in luck!

This summer, a special re-release of the film will be hitting select theaters for a limited two-week run beginning on July 8. Only this time, instead of just passively sitting there and silently watching the screen in the dark, audiences will be encouraged to sing their hearts out alongside Danny Zuko, Sandy Olsson and the rest of the gang! That’s right, Grease Sing-A-Long promises to be one of this summer’s most exciting releases. You can check out the official Grease Sing-A-Long web site to see if the film is coming to your town in July. And even if it isn’t, there’s something you can do about it! You and your friends can head over to Eventful.com and request that the film plays in your town. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to hop in “Greased Lightning” and get this weekend started!

Grease Sing-A-Long [Official Site]

by (@unclegrambo)

Bachelorette Contestant Learns That Premature Ejaculation Isn’t As Cool As It Used To Be

Meeting girls is a lot harder than it sounds. As a blogger who spends most of his day tied to a laptop, I know all too well the pitfalls that await me whenever I venture into the “outside world” and try to strike up a conversation with a member of the fairer sex. You know how it is, right guys? Just when you think you’ve landed on the perfect conversation starter, you find yourself getting all distracted by their pretty hair and pretty smiles and pretty smells. We’ve all been there.

That said, I’ve picked up a few tricks of the proverbial trade over the years and now find talking to women slightly less intimidating than I used to. I have been passing on the secrets that I’ve learned through a book that I recently wrote called How To Pick Up Trashy Women. Although my tips have saved countless dozens of individuals from conversational peril, I truly regret that I never had time to meet with 27 year-old construction engineer and Bachelorette contestant Derrick before he got some precious 1:1 time with Ali Fedotowsky, the titular Bachelorette, on the season premiere that aired last night. If I had, I would’ve surely explained to him that it would’ve been in his best interest NOT to share with Miss Fedotowsky the story about how he acquired the nickname “Shooter.”

Watch and learn, gents. Watch. And. Learn.

by (@unclegrambo)

Casting Couch: Top Ten Actresses That Could Replace Megan Fox In Transformers 3

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Hey there, Michael Bay! Not sure that we’ve been properly introduced. Here at The FABLife, we’re big fans of the way you are able to subtly wrench powerful emotional performances out of your actors, and we’re surely not the first to tell you that your mise-en-scène would make Truffaut weep with jealousy. Just kidding, we mostly love you because there’s no one better in the business at blowing sh*t up.

And hey, we heard the news that you fired Megan Fox from Transformers 3. We applaud the decision; after all, you can’t let some scrawny, hammer-thumbed bimbette tarnish the directorial legacy that you’ve been building ever since you first stepped behind the lens as the director of Playboy Video Centerfold: Kerri Kendall! Gotta keep your eye on the prize, can’t let one bad apple ruin the bunch, we get it.

But since we’ve heard that you’ve already started filming the third installment of Transformers in Los Angeles, we figured you might need some help finding a new love interest for Shia LaBeouf. To that end, we have gone to the trouble of compiling a list of ten actresses who could replace that ungrateful harlot, Megan Fox, as well as the reasons you’ll want to talk to them. Hopefully this will save you some time and allow you to complete the film in time for its planned release date of July 4, 2012!

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[Photos: Getty Images, Splash]

by (@unclegrambo)

Top Ten Sketches Of Saturday Night Live Season 35

Now that the 35th season of Saturday Night Live is in the books, it’s time to take a look back at what most observers would classify as a solid-B season of the show. Admittedly, the show never quite reached the dizzying heights that it did last year in its 34th season, but then again, the writers and castmembers didn’t have the benefit of the frenzy of an election year to fall back on. Even without that well of material, this season saw plenty of its own highs: Kenan Thompson blossomed into a star (as Kristin Wiig faded ever so slightly), the Lonely Island guys had their most consistent season of their five seasons on the show, and newcomers Jenny Slate and Nasim Pedrad helped to stabilize the show after the off-season losses of Casey Wilson, Michaela Watkins and Darrell Hammond.

Without further ado, here are our picks for this season’s ten most memorable sketches.

10. “On The Ground” starring Andy Samberg, Bobby Moynihan, Jenny Slate, Ryan Reynolds and Elijah Wood

Even though none of the digital shorts that the Lonely Island contingent produced this season struck the kind of viral paydirt that predecessors like “Lazy Sunday” or “Dick In A Box” did, it was quite a consistently funny year for Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone and Akiva Schaffer (this despite the fact that SchafferTaccone was doing double duty in the editing booth putting the finishing touches on the MacGruber movie). This particular short revolves around the exploits of one of those annoying, anti-social types who are always prattling on about their revulsion to things like “the system” and “the Man.” As a means of showing his disgust with the rules of society, this goateed hipster with misplaced anger issues takes his frustration out by whipping things like energy drinks, hot dogs and his girlfriend’s Blackberry at the ground. “Happy birthday to the GROUND!”

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by (@unclegrambo)

Billy Ray Cyrus Sees No Shame In Miley’s Lap Dance Game

Fathers Be Good To Your DaughtersrnBack when we were teenagers, just about the most scandalous thing you could do was to get caught necking at Inspiration Point. Wait, come to think of it, we spent so much time glued to the television during our formative years that we often get our own memories mixed up with old plotlines of Leave It To Beaver. Either way, today’s teens sure are crazy, aren’t they? rnrnTake Miley Cyrus, for instance. As you’ll no doubt recall, Miss Hannah Montana herself was caught on camera earlier this week giving a booze-fueled lapdance to 44 year-old motion picture director Adam Shankman. And while most parents would follow up such behavior by giving their offspring a stern talking-to (perhaps accompanied by a Wagging Finger of Shame), Billy Ray Cyrus doesn’t seem too concerned about his daughter’s proclivities. As he tells TMZ, “It’s just what people her age do.” Funny, we missed that chapter the last time we consulted our dog-eared copy of Dr. Spock, but then again, we probably just have an outdated version of that book.rnrn[Photo Credit: FilmMagic]

by (@unclegrambo)

Muse + Eclipse = Tweengasms For Days

Thanks in large part to the teen-savvy directorial acumen of original Twilight helmer Catherine Hardwicke, the film adaptations of author Stephenie Meyers’s series of pro-abstinence vampire novels have always come equipped with a killer soundtrack. Meyer herself has often acknowledged that Muse — a band she has personally acknowledged in the credits of her books New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn — stands above all others when it comes to serving as inspiration for the forbidden romance between Edward and Bella. Therefore, it surprised no one when the British threesome’s songs appeared on the soundtracks of the first two films in the series.

However, for the release of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (only 48 days away, people!), Muse decided to repay Meyers for all of the unwavering support she has shown them over the years by writing an original track for the film. The song, entitled “Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever),” is just as grandiose, majestic and lovelorn as, well, puppy love itself. And although the official video for the song won’t be released until May 20th, we’ve managed to get our hands on a 30-second preview of the highly dramatic song for you, which ought to whet your appetite for the next few days. Enjoy!

by (@unclegrambo)

Community Leads Growing Backlash Against Glee

Unfortunately for NBC, their corporate bungling over the course of the last three years and change — Ben Silverman, the Leno/Conan debaucle, the cancellation of Southland, etc. — has created a pervasive sense of anti-Peacock sentiment that hangs, cloudlike, over 30 Rockefeller Center in a manner reminiscent of the ball of dust that Pig-Pen never managed to shake. Sadly, this has prevented the network’s PR flacks from shouting from the rooftops that, each and every Thursday, they air the most magnificent hour of comedy going on television these days.

No, I’m not talking about the 9 p.m. tag team of The Office and 30 Rock, both of which still flash occasional moments of brilliance but are widely regarded as being on the downslope of their respective creative arcs. Rather, I’m talking about Community and Parks and Recreation, both of which have consistently outclassed their more established counterparts in both laughs and smarts this season.

In particular, VH1 alum Dan Harmon‘s Community has proven to be a network sitcom almost without peer in its freshman season. After a somewhat bumpy start, the show’s eclectic cast has gelled together into a formidable and tight-knit comedic ensemble, and the writers and producers have displayed a willingness to take their show in the kinds of creative directions that most other sitcom showrunners would never dare to explore.

Take, for instance, last night’s epic (in every sense of the world) episode, “Modern Warfare” (written by Emily Cutler).

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