We caught up with Katy Perry on the red carpet at the ASCAP awards the other night, an annual celebration for the people that pen all of your favorite pop songs (if you’re curious, Jason Mraz took home the Song of the Year award for his hit, “I’m Yours”). We asked the recent American Idol guest judge, who just so happened to be wearing a pair of $2,500 Jimmy Choo Zap sandals, if she had any aspirations to become a full-time host of the show once Simon Cowell scoots off for greener pastures at the end of this season. She backtracked a bit on the statements she made to MTV News earlier this year after her feisty feud with Kara DioGuardi, but left the door open for future consideration:
“I’ll always want to be a guest judge. Always. And when my t*ts sag and my *ss gets huge, I’ll probably want to be a permanent judge.”
All of you who have seen the recent bikini pictures of her will instantly recognize that Perry is basically telling you not to hold your breath.
When we first heard the news earlier this week that Constantin Films, the studio behind the German-language WWII film Downfall, was working with YouTube to shut down the scores of “Hitler Reacts To” videos that have sprouted up online, we here at BWE.tv breathed a sigh of relief, thinking we’d finally be able to put one of the internet’s most annoying memes comfortably in the rear view mirror. Sadly, yet expectedly, this news only resulted in more Hitler reaction videos sprouting up.
In response, our crack video guru, Mr. Pete Schultz, put together the following video, one that we’re hoping will be the final nail in the “Hitler Reacts To” meme coffin. Danke schoen.
Yesterday, my esteemed colleague Kate $pencer wrote a passionate Defen$e of Ke$ha. Her basic thesis was that Twitter Nation shouldn’t have gotten so up in arms over Ke$ha’s performance on this weekend’s Saturday Night Live because she’s little more than a living, breathing embodiment of today’s disappointing pop music scene. In other words, she’s exactly the kind of pop star that America deserves in the year 2010. While there is certainly a discussion to be had about the overall quality of the music that makes up Casey’s Top 40 the iTunes Top 10 these days, we’ll table that discussion for another time. Instead, I’m going to attempt to help explain why people reacted so viscerally to the day-glo nightmare that was Ke$ha’s SNL performance.
As I see it, there are three main components as to why this performance irritated so many of us and did the same thing to my eyes and ears that Ipecac does to one’s stomach:
1) Her Warbly Pipes: When Jay-Z declared the “Death of Auto-Tune” on The Blueprint 3 last year, most of America initially rejoiced. Sure, if his wish came true, it would mean a swift end to T-Pain‘s career, but we looked at it this way: In order to make an omelette, you gotta break a few eggs, right? But from the opening a cappella moments of Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok”, we immediately began regretting throwing our support behind Sean Carter’s musical movement, for if anyone ever needed saving from this particular ProTools effect, it was Ke$ha and her irritating Valley Girl affect (ugh, the way she enunciated her vowels!). Just how ear-splitting were her vocals, exactly? Well, if Randy Jackson were to describe them as being “pitchy,” he’d actually be giving her a compliment. Even Taylor Swift at the Grammys mistook Ke$ha’s off-key warbling for a cat howling in an alleyway.
When Christina Aguilera debuted her new single, “Not Myself Tonight,” last month, the song’s bouncy, club-friendly rhythms and warm embrace of behind-the-velvet-rope-style decadence stoked the still warm embers of her beef with Lady Gaga. Now, noted child shot-putter Akon is adding fuel to this potentially explosive fire in an interview with VIBE, firmly placing himself on Team Gaga:
“I miss the old Christina Aguilera. I like the old one better than the new one. Honestly, Gaga and Christina could probably get together and do something that’s amazing. But that’s impossible if they are both trying to do the same exact thing musically … I just think [Aguilera] just needs to believe in herself more. I think sometimes she gets insecure because of all of the success Gaga has had not realizing that she was already successful before Gaga came out.”
It’s important to note that Akon has a vested interest in seeing Gaga succeed; after all, he was the one who convinced Interscope boss Jimmy Iovine to sign the pop diva in the first place, which means he most likely takes home a percentage of her earnings. At the same time, this is neither the first nor likely the last time that Aguilera has been accused of copping Gaga’s wildly successful style.
What do you think, FABLifers? Are the musical sounds of these two, petite blondes too close for your comfort, or is there enough room on the Top 20 Charts for both of them? Are you on Team Gaga or Team X-Tina? Can’t we all just get along?
Those of you out there who generally read Playboy for the articles –that’s all of you, right?– will finally have a reason to flip past those boring, boring words when the latest issue hits newsstands later this week. In what is being heralded as the magazine’s most anticipated celebrity pictorial since Marge Simpson shed her lime green dress last October, Ashley Alexandra Dupré (aka “Kristen”) will be appearing nude in an eight-page layout in the May 2010 issue. And just in case any of you out there have doubts that the photo spread will be anything less than hot, it’s worthwhile to note that Dupré literally caught on fire during the shoot.
Oh, and for those of you who actually do read the printed words that appear in the magazine, you’ll have this choice quote from Eliot Spitzer’s main squeeze to look forward to: “I love sex and I’m very good at it, but I’m saving that. That’s for my future boyfriend from now on. And it will be fabulous.” Well, alrighty then!
UPDATE: The Village Voice has a first look at some of the EXTREMELY NSFW Ashley Dupré nudes from the issue. Click if you dare, but don’t say we didn’t warn you!
[Photos: Steven Wayda/Playboy]
Your loyal and friendly (if not necessarily health conscious) staff here at BWE.tv have had the date April 12 circled on our calendars for some time now. No, not because Two And A Half Men is returning from a brief hiatus; rather, because it was the day that Colonel Sanders’s glorious vision would at last come true. Finally, the world would move past its childish fascination with loaves of bread and realize that, once and for all, all sandwiches should be cased within two pieces of fried chicken!
Yes, that’s right, today marks the day that KFC unleashed the Double Down sandwich upon this God-fearing nation of ours. And being the gluttons for punishment that we are, we trudged through waves upon waves of unwashed tourists in Times Square en route to ordering up one of these calorie-laden masterpieces. Follow along, if you dare, for our review.
What have you got going on this weekend? Your friendly FABLife staffers are planning on spending most of our time searching through our junk drawers for errant receipts as we hastily fire up our TurboTax software, lamenting all the while our inability to grasp even the most basic tenants of fiscal planning. Tina Fey, on the other hand, has quite the weekend lined up: Her new film with Steve Carell, Date Night, opens in theaters nationwide, she’s hosting Saturday Night Live for the second time tomorrow evening, and, perhaps most importantly, she’s going to be hanging with Bieber! We cornered Fey at the Date Night premiere here in Manhattan the other night and asked her for her thoughts on the gloriously-banged wunderkind and, to the surprise of no one, she (jokingly) confessed that she’s got the hots for him.
Well, if Fey happens to change her mind and does, in fact, decide to put the moves on Bieber, she’s got one thing working in her favor. After all, we did learn just last week that Bieber likes older women. So, you got that going for you, Tina!
While Jesse James still has quite a long way to go before he catches Tiger Woods’s record of sixteen (and counting!) extramarital affairs, his recent shenanigans with heavily tattooed webcam models have quickly skyrocketed the Vanilla Gorilla into the Adultery Hall of Shame. It’s an exclusive club —from what we hear, there’s a secret handshake and everything— that is made up of some of the world’s most famous actors, athletes and politicians. Past inductees into the hallowed club include the likes of Bill “Slick Willie” Clinton, Michael “Air” Jordan and Jon “Still in Search of a Catchy Nickname” Gosselin. Take a gander at our photo gallery below to see what other lecherous lotharios made the list.