Posts By hopperd

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Mini Storage Billboard Just Says Screw It, Let’s Add A Butt

Manhattan Mini Storage, the company known for their randomly inflammatory ads throughout New York City, took a turn for the nakeder this past week with this giant new billboard outside one of their downtown locations:

Naked Mini Storage Ad

Gugghuhuhuhugggwhaaaa????? 9,000 cabs spin out, make wacky sound effects, crash cartoonishly, explode, cut to families crying at wake (“This Manhattan Mischief movie got SUPER dark all the sudden…”)

The ad has apparently been “causing some controversy among residents and motorists”, according to Splash News, but do people still have problems with butts these days? I thought we were at least cool with butts. Have we so quickly forgotten the Buttual Revolution of whatever year that was? Wikipedia apparently has, because there’s nothing on there about it, but if that really never was a thing, then why did I not wear pants to work for that 7 month period?

I rest my case. Butt ads are fine. Next up – Completing Bill Hicks’ “Perfect Commercial”:

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Game Of Thrones Recap: Happy Mother’s Day!

It’s Game Of Thrones Episode 17, entitled “A Man Without Honor”, a title which clearly and specifically refers to Bran. Or possibly every character on this show ever, except for that guy who insulted Theon and got decapitated and like maybe one of the direwolves (the other, dishonorable direwolf is constantly stealing the others’ Raven-Milk-Bones and having sex with them.)

Ironically, the “Man Without Honor” episode doesn’t include Joffrey – I assumed the episode was just gonna be a 60-minute closeup on Joffrey with dishonorable sh*t happening in the background, like the “You Don’t Know How It Feels” video – but Tyrion and Cersei do sit down and discuss the grim reality of Joffrey on the throne, with Tyrion adding “It’s tough to leash a dog once you’ve put a crown on him” (not true! I do this to my basset hound Doggfrey on an hourly basis).

In one of the season’s more subtlely interesting scenes, Cersei tries to confide in Tyrion but can’t quite do it, and Tyrion tries to comfort his sister but also can’t, and they spend the scene tragically beating around the Joffrey bush (without actually beating Joffrey this week, sadly):

They stop just short of talking themselves into agreeing “Sometimes, the sincerest form of loving your child is killing him and letting a more reasonable child take over…”, but still, the ‘Joffrey’ tension between the two Lannisters in this scene was thick enough to beat with a crying prostitute’s scepter.

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The Best Two Seconds Of The Avengers Immortalized In GIF Form

If you haven’t seen The Avengers yet, SKIP THIS POST – It’s not totally-spoilery, but it’s something that’s probably better saved as a surprise.

For the other 90 obskillion of you who have seen The Avengers (I gave everyone a second weekend before posting this), Xavierpop has taken the liberty of immortalizing the film’s most crowd-pleasing moment in GIF form, which you can now experience on a loop forever.

Behold, “When Loki Met Hulkie” (title mine, not gonna pin that on the actually-talented GIF creator):

Avengers Hulk Loki GIF

“THIS GIF GOING TO BE BIG SMASH” – Captain America talking about the GIF, weirdly.

(via @wyshynski)

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SOLID AS A BLOCK: Arrested Development Legos

Pretty much anything Arrested Development-related gets our automatic attention / approval / us quoting random episodes for 40 minutes and laughing at ourselves while this post is delayed, but these custom-made Arrested Development Lego sets will totally blow you (away):



Arrested Development Lego Gob

Check out the full set at the Pepa Quin Flickr, be impressed, and waste the rest of your afternoon saying Lego-ized AD quotes to yourself and laughing then realizing it’s 8 pm. THERE’S ALWAYS MONEY IN THE LEGO BANANA STAND.

(via I Watch Stuff)

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Japan Out-Japans Itself With New Spankable Robot Ass

Robot Butt

Here’s Shiri, the first-ever fully-realistic, fully-interactive robot ass, developed by a team of scientist in Tokyo (it’s Japanese??? No way! When I first heard “Interactive spankable robo-ass,” I immediately thought, “Those crazy Canadians have done it again!”)

Watch the slappable ass in action below. Although, as our collegue Halle Kiefer pointed out, “Aren’t all robots’ asses technically slappable?” To which this guy quickly responded, “Correct please.”

(via Mashable)

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EXCLUSIVE VIDEO: Matthew Fox Speaks Out About His DUI Arrest

Matthew Fox, aka Jack Shephard on Lost and Charlie on Party Of Five (and that one really off-the-rails crossover episode of Lost Season 6) was pulled over in Oregon and charged with driving under the influence and driving without a license.

Before we rush to judgement, we at BWE have obtained this EXCLUSIVE VIDEO of Matthew Fox’s arrest on the night in question. Here’s Fox interacting with the police officer, making a number of questionable arguments and sporting an unmistakable “I’m disheveled in this reality!” beard:

When the officer asked “Where were you this evening before entering your vehicle?”, Fox reportedly kept repeating “You should be asking, WHEN was I.”

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“Disney’s Taxi Driver” Is WAY Darker Than The Original Taxi Driver

Disneys Taxi Driver

Here’s an incredibly-well-edited version of Scorsese’s Taxi Driver re-imagined with Disney elements. You’re expecting it to be fittingly internet-wacky and full of punchlines, but the resulting cut is actually somehow more disturbing than the original Taxi Driver.

I don’t even want to know what happens when De Niro takes his shotgun to go liberate Snow White from those despicable pimp-dwarfs…

(via Film Drunk)

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Maurice Sendak Tribute Mural Is Wildly Excellent

It’s been a couple days since the passing of Where The Wild Things Are author Maurice Sendak, and in the interest of “ok, now we’re ready for a happy thing,” check out this Sendak tribute-mural from Widen + Kennedy in Portland:

The space comes complete with a cardboard Max cutout encouraging patrons to “play Max,” as if we didn’t already do that 8,000 times in our heads when reading that book when we were little. Only in my version, the Ninja Turtles and Grimlock were also hanging out with the Wild Things and we all ate chicken fingers and watched Ninja Turtles (then the Turtles were like “Whoa, that’s our lives, dudes!” and their minds shattered with paradox.)

(My Modern Met, via The Daily What)

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Madea’s Witness Protection Poster Is The Best Poster In Movie History So Let’s All Quit

Question: What’s the best movie poster of all time? WRONG! I don’t know what you said, but it’s wrong, unless you said “The new poster for Madea’s Witness Protection” because that is officially now the greatest movie poster / thing EVER MADE so SAY THAT FROM NOW ON:

Madea Witness Protection Poster

How would you parody this? Name one way to make this poster more ridiculous. Putting a neon green raccoon-vagina on a skateboard off to the right? Nope, that would just detract away from UNDERCOVER MUSTACHE EUGENE LEVY, thus diluting the poster’s ridiculousness.

The correct answer is, this is perfect and cannot be touched. End of discussion and poster making.

(Thanks, Henry! For sending the link, not designing the poster, as far as we know.)

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Panther Kitten Squeaks The Exact Sound You Will Make When You Watch This

Panther Kitten InjuredWell, this is adorable but heartbreaking. Here’s a video of a Florida panther kitten who suffered head trauma in a car accident and is currently undergoing physical therapy, but likely won’t be able to return to the wild.

It is a very cute kitten, but holy crap, the squeaking sound it makes will DESTROY you. Note that the squeaking sound will be promptly followed by you making that same squeaking sound, then the sound of your heart cracking like the face from the You Can’t Do That On Television intro.

Watch, and try to cuddle this embed:

That sound is the unhandleable B-Side to the Baby Sloth squeaking.

And if that’s not heart-smashing enough, check out this photo of the panther undergoing physical therapy:

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