Posts By Becky Howard

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Angelina Just Can’t Keep Her Mouth Shut


Is it just us, or are we suffering just a tad from Angie-overload? We thought she could do no wrong, what with the rainbow family, Wonder Twins and Clint-Eastwood-baiting beauty, not forgetting His Bradulous himself. But it feels like Angelina Jolie is teetering on the brink of being one of those irritating celebs who like to talk and talk and talk and talk about their fascinating selves all the time. We’ve had the breastfeeding shot, the nonstop chat about how sexy Brad finds her when she’s up the duff and the Shrek-marriage revelation. Now Angelina’s given ANOTHER interview with a glossy mag where she tries to make out she’s vaguely normal. Again.

“I don’t walk around feeling I need to apologize or explain myself,” she tells Harper’s Bazaar with an unintentional dose of irony. “I am still, at heart — and always will be — just a punk kid with tattoos.”

Um, if you say so, petal. This sounds a little bit like the A-list-superstar-doth-protest-too-much if you ask us. Now, please just don’t say anything more for a few months and we’ll be your slavishly devoted fans once more. [Source: Metro; Photo: WireImage]

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Mel B To Have Tacky Wedding, Posh Not Attending

We were a bit disappointed when Mel B revealed she secretly married Steven Belafonte last year — after all, there was no tacky celebrity-themed wedding pictures to take the piss of. (Especially not compared to her first wedding to “flamboyant” dancer Jimmy Gulzar, where all the other Spice Girls had to wear white and the groom reportedly sang a love song to his best man. And it didn’t last! Shocker.)

Anyway, she’s more than made up for that with plans for an extraordinarily gaudy renewal of vows with her new hubby over in Egypt, and she’s already sent out a 20-page booklet to guests. And it sounds like the most brilliantly tacky holiday-club-style wedding ever.

“Guests are invited to ‘an outrageously fun treasure hunt that Mel came up with herself’. Guests are also invited to dine at one of the hotel’s five restaurants and enjoy a folklore show after dinner,” quotes the News of the World.

But there’s one A-list guest that won’t be attending — apparently Victoria Beckham has snubbed her old friend. Shame, we fancied seeing her dressed up in Cleopatra-style robes dancing to folklore tunes. But probably the theme doesn’t match her new hair, or something. [Source: The Sun; Photos: Getty Images]

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Sienna’s Romance Hits Rocks

Poor old Sienna Miller. No, seriously! Reports are claiming that her romance with married father-of-four Balthazar Getty has hit the rocks, with him stalling on his divorce and she moving back to London for a cooling-off period.

Sigh. You’d think after enduring public vilification for months over your relationship, being held up as a homewrecker, hounded by paparazzi (so much that you’re now suing one of them), you’d at the very least have chosen the right bloke to go through this for. But it looks like Sienna’s knack for choosing dodgy men has struck again. She’s done the gorgeous film star who turned out to be a balding cheater who was shagging the nanny (Jude Law), the rough diamond who turned out to be a bit of an emotional liability (Rhys Ifans) and now she’s been lumbered with the “my wife doesn’t understand me like you do, oh yes, let’s get together, hang on a minute maybe we shouldn’t rush into things I have to think of the children” cliché.

While we totally understand that Balthazar doesn’t want to be based over in London as it’s too far away from his kids, maybe he should have thought of that before banging someone other than his wife? Just a thought. [Source: Sunday Mirror, Photo: Splash News Online]

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Paris Hilton Unconvincingly Tries Victim Line Again

About once a year, Paris Hilton seems to make a half-assed attempt to insist that she is a misunderstood, gentle, delicate flower, and the image of her as a vacuous, superficial talentless party girl is UNTRUE (just because she spends 85% of her life pouting and dancing on tables doesn’t mean she isn’t really really INTELLIGENT and DEEP, you know!)

And here we are again. Now Paris has “revealed” to a newspaper that like, she’s totally like, been used by mean guys, and like, all she really wants to do is get married and have kids.

“Every other guy I’ve been out with has used me for money or sex — but in most cases they just want fame. It made it hard to trust people,” she told the News of the World. “After a while I had to start questioning exactly why somebody wanted to be with me. And that made things really difficult … I’d love to start a family in the next year. And I want to get married before we have kids. I want three or four.”

Our heart bleeds for poor Paris — but didn’t she threaten promise to have kids years ago? And we’re sure that she wouldn’t embark on having a family before she completes that charity mission to Rwanda . We wouldn’t think any less of you, love. [Photo: Splash News Online]

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Britney, Lindsay, Paris To Star In New HBO Sitcom?

Could this be the best new show ever? Conversely, it could be the worst, but we would watch every delicious second anyway. Various media outlets are reporting that Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears are in talks to star in their very own sitcom together. It appears that HBO wants to sign up the superstar threesome as roommates trying to make it big in Hollywood. Very far away from their reality, obvs.

“The chemistry between them will be electric. They were very close and have had their ups and downs in the Los Angeles party world but they have overcome those problems now.They can draw from their experiences for the sitcom,” reports MTV UK.

What would it be called? The Vag Pack? BFFriends? The mind just boggles. To be honest, it seems pretty far fetched but sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. Do it, ladies! [Photo: WireImage]

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Kate Moss Pregnant?

Ahhh, there’s nothing that will warm our hard hearts more than a good old fashioned pregnancy rumor. All a celebrity needs to do to create headlines that she’s sperminated is …

  • Wear a vaguely floaty top that doesn’t show off her gym/drug-honed abs.
  • Hold her hand or an object in the general vicinity of said stomach.
  • Not be pictured falling drunk out of clubs for a few days.

Hey, they don’t even need to have done all three. Kate Moss is the latest recipient of such a rumor and it’s one we’re longing to be true, if only because we suspect she (like many women) finds the no-drinking no-smoking rules of pregnancy less than blissful. And her daughter Lola is very cute and we’d love to see another.

Anyway, the Sun has run a few stories over the past few days with the usual cheesy headlines – Got ‘Mum-Thing’ To Tell Us?, Are You Kid-ding Us, Kate? – etc etc. Now she’s held a blanket in front of her tummy which DEFINITELY MEANS SHE’S UP THE SPOUT . And her stomach looks a little bit bigger than normal in this shot from LAX. So congrats, Kate! Well, probably. Maybe. Time will tell. Ahem. [Photo: Splash News Online]

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John Mayer Only Sleeps With ‘Stupid Girls’

Wooo! Fight, fight! Pink has laid into Mr. Sex Recycling himself, John Mayer, after they had a row at a party. Apparently, John-boy reckons his conquests are a bit thick upstairs — indirectly dissing Jennifer Aniston in the intelligence stakes — and told Pink so. Which she didn’t take very kindly to, as you’d imagine.

“I got into an argument with him … He said something along the lines of ‘I only shag really stupid women.’ And I said, ‘I guess they would have to be.’ I don’t get him at all,” she told The Sun.

Touche, Alecia. Sigh. Poor Jen (again).

[Photos: Getty Images, WireImage]

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Russell Brand Quits BBC, Heads To America

It’s all over for the goth dandy at the BBC! After what’s being dubbed “Sachsgate” literally dominated the British headlines for a week — and complaints rose to 27,000 — Russell Brand last night dramatically quit his BBC Radio 2 show. Earlier that day, he and fellow presenter Jonathan Ross (whose $29 million deal with the BBC has come under fire) had been suspended pending further enquiries into the incident. It saw them leave lewd messages on 78-year-old actor Andrew Sachs‘ voicemail after Russell bragged about sleeping with his granddaughter Georgina Baillie, a member of burlesque group the Satanic Sluts

“As I only do the radio show to make people laugh I’ve decided that, given the subsequent coverage, I will stop doing the show,” Brand said in a statement. “I got a bit caught up in the moment and forgot that, at the core of the rude comments and silly songs, were the real feelings of a beloved and brilliant comic actor and a very sweet and big-hearted young woman.”

But don’t feel too sorry for him for nobly falling on his sword. “I’m now off to American to make quite a lot of films,” he said, yesterday. Lock up your granddaughters. [Photo: Getty Images]

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Why Paris Hilton Will Never Be A Presenter (Here’s Hoping)

Continuing her threat to never leave the UK, Paris Hilton was on primetime TV last night, presenting a gong at the National Television Awards ceremony. And dear GOD, we hope she doesn’t repeat the horror. Wearing a lovely sparkly dress, all was well until she opened her mouth and tried to speak naturally.

“London’s my favourite city in the whole world. I’ve been here for the past couple of months finding my British best friend, so I’ll probably be on this stage next year accepting an award,” she said, to universal sniggers and open-mouthed disbelief.

Stiff as an ironing board, she then posed awkwardly while trying to read out a list of programs she’d clearly never heard of. Nice effort, love, but we can’t see Cat Deeley worrying about the competition just yet.

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Jennifer Aniston, Celebrities, Live In Our Brain

Finally, a scientific study that makes us happy! Apparently, we all have Jennifer Aniston living in our brain. No, that’s not quite it. Basically, the fact we can recognize a picture of Jen and John at fifty paces, but not be able to change a plug is fine.

“The ‘Jennifer Aniston neuron’, as it has been dubbed, helps explain why we are able to recognize familiar faces so quickly. When shown a picture of the Friends actress, a particular cell in people’s brains is fired up. Photos of other celebrities — such as Halle Berry, Tom Cruise or Oprah Winfrey — spark a reaction in entirely different cells, the study by neuroscientists at the University of Leicester showed. … It appears that we assign individual cells to recognize faces we see regularly — from television stars and politicians to close friends and family,” explains the Telegraph.

Excellent news. We’re happy enough to have a Cheryl Cole brain cell. Even an Amy Winehouse one is OK. But this study throws up a worrying thought. Does that mean there’s a special brain cell in all of our heads for Kerry Katona? And Peaches Geldof? And even Kim Kardashian? God. [Photo: WireImage]