Posts By Becky Howard

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The Worst Celebrity Car-Crash Interview Ever

You may not have heard of British celebrity Kerry Katona. But to be honest, you don’t need to to fully grasp the open-mouthed-WTF-horror of her interview yesterday on daytime show This Morning. Slurring her words, looking around the studio for her husband Mark Croft and essentially acting like someone on something very very powerful indeed, she seemed totally confused by the concern posed by the presenters as to her welfare.

A former pop star, who’s now best known for her battles with drugs and insane life — she was promoting a show which showed her recent cosmetic surgery — Kerry claimed that she was merely on “medication.” Her husband said after the show she’d had nothing stronger than a “cup of tea” beforehand.

Mmmkay. Have a look and see what you think. Sorry, subtitles not provided.

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Penelope Cruz Stumbles Into Celebrity Vortex By Mistake

We love this story. Spanish senorita Penelope Cruz is at the London Film Festival, promoting her Woody Allen movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and has dazzled the crowds on the red carpet with her beauty and class. Squeezing her A-list self into her chauffeur-driven car, she heads off to the glamorous afterparty. Except she doesn’t, and accidentally wanders into D-List showbiz bash Celebrity Spectacle Wearer of the Year. We’re sure the organizers were chuffed when Pene turned up, especially as the calibre of star at the event were Rod Stewart’s wife Penny Lancaster and British swimmer Mark Foster.

The Hollywood star was heard telling pals ‘I think we might have the wrong place,’” a source tells the Sun.

No sh*t, Sherlock. It must have been terrifying for poor Penelope — a vision of a nightmarish future when the film roles dry up, and she’s reduced to flogging carpet cleaner, perhaps? Shudder. [Photo: Getty Images]

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Gay Celebrity Marriage Breakup Still All About The Cash

We’re very proud that since 2005, it’s been legal for gay couples in the UK to take part in civil partnership ceremonies — essentially giving them the same rights and responsibilities as married couples. Among the celebrity couples who took advantage of this were the right royal Elton John and David Furnish, and (Scandalist‘s most futile crush) actor John Barrowman and partner Scott Gill. Among these were Little Britain star Matt Lucas, who wed his boyfriend Kevin McGee in a celebrity-packed ceremony in 2006.

But sadly, it’s all come to an end, with the couple divorcing today in London’s High Court, after a recent split. Matt signed up law firm Mischon De Reya to represent him, which handled Sir Paul McCartney’s millions in the Heather Mills divorce.

It’s heartening to know that whether gay or straight, we’ve all got the same interests when it comes to a breakup, which can be summarised as: GET THAT B*STARD’S HANDS OFF OUR CASH. Ahem. [Photo: Splash News Online]

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Katy Perry Poses With Knife, Crime Victims Fail To See Artistic Merit

Katy Perry was just about winning over the hearts and minds of the British public — we love a faux lesbian, you know — but she’s blown it big time with her latest “edgy” venture. As the hottest crime topic in England for the past year has been the shocking rise in knife murders of teenagers, Katy (well, actually her PR and record company, we’re not blaming her entirely) thought it would be a GREAT IDEA to pose with a flick knife in a shoot for her recent album.

Can we just say “durrrrr”? As parents of murder victims have spoken out to condemn her action, we’d just like to give KP some advice — apologize. If you want to present the MTV VMA awards next week and not end up doing a Sarah Silverman, then I’d get a nice scripted response sorted ASAP. Those Liverpool crowds can be tough. … [Source: The Sun; Photo: gokatyperry.com]

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Madonna And Guy Latest: Now The Kids Are In The PR Battle

As we reported before, the deluge of blame-apportioning stories for Madonna and Guy‘s breakup are reaching critical mass. So, to clear up just who’s angry at who, why not use the children? Why not indeed? Madonna seems to have thought this was a good idea when she sent out eight-year-old son Rocco wearing a New York Yankees T-shirt. It was clearly just a total coincidence that it’s A-Rod‘s team, and he’s been cited as a factor in the breakup etc etc.

Of course, we don’t need to have it spelled out for us. We can smell a ‘f*ck you, Guy’ a mile off — there are no spontaneous gestures in the world of Madonna. But come on, Madge! The children? Dark. [Photos: Splash News Online]

Related Scandalist Content:
5 Reasons Madonna And Guy Broke Up
Music Videos: Five Songs For Madonna, Five Songs For Guy
Madonna Disses Guy At Concert?

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Celebrity Birthwatch: Boy Baby Boom!

OK, if two births count as a boom (they do to us). X-Files actress Gillian Anderson gave birth to her second son, Felix Griffiths, last week in London. And British actress Billie Piper delivered little Winston Fox today at the swanky celeb birth depot Portland Hospital. Cuteness! Bring on the MySpace photos/OK! photoshoot! We’re not fussy, we just wanna see.

PS. If you’ve never heard of Billie Piper, a quick history lesson. Teen pop star aged 14, got married age 18 to broadcaster and presenter Chris Evans who was 16 years her senior, spent years bumming around with Chris, then reinvented as actress, divorced Chris – but remained friends in the most amicable celebrity breakup EVER, she even went to his recent re-marriage – found fame in Dr Who and now married to fellow actor Laurence Fox. Got up the duff. Phew. [Source: Daily Mail, Daily Telegraph, Photos: Splash News Online]

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Paris Hilton Threatens To Stay In UK For Good, Alludes To Breakup With Benji Madden

What have we really done to deserve this, America? Now Paris Hilton has threatened promised to stay in Britain for like, ever. Over here to record a totally spurious show in which she finds a British best friend, Paris must be reckoning that with the Madonna and Guy split there’s a vacancy for another U.S. superstar to adopt our ker-azy British ways.

I love it here, I am going to move here permanently. I have already been here for one month and am much, much happier here,” she told the London Paper, and wore a really stupid top saying “Royal Highness” as if to prove it.

She also sparked speculation that she’s split with the other one from Good Charlotte by dribbling on about hot guys this side of the pond: “I love guys with English accents. I have met a really cute English guy, but it’s early days.”

Hang on, hang on a minute, America, I thought we had an agreement. You wouldn’t let Paris back over if we kept Miley Cyrus … oh. Sorry about that. [Photo: Splash News]

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Bond Girl Eva Green Says She’s Hotter Than Charlize

French actress Eva Green, who starred as Vesper Lynd in the last Bond film Casino Royale, has got sultry looks and a rocking model figure. And doesn’t she know it. Speaking to You magazine about how she copes with her boyfriend, New Zealand Marton Csokas doing sex scenes, she explained why it’s not a problem – even when he’s getting hot with Charlize Theron in Aeon Flux.

“He did [a love scene] himself with Charlize Theron but it didn’t worry me because I’m better looking than she is.”

O-kay. Well, that’s one way of dealing with jealousy. But is she really fitter than Charlize? In Monster, no problem. Elsewhere…well, we’ll leave it up to you to make that choice.

[Photos: Getty Images, WireImage]

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Sarah Silverman Booed Off UK Stage

Following a pretty storming appearance on Friday Night With Jonathan Ross last week, where she skewered the British chat show host quite brilliantly, you’d expect Sarah Silverman to go down well on her first ever UK stand-up performance, last night at London’s Hammersmith Apollo. But it was not to be — and she found herself on the receiving end of boos and catcalls from the audience when she ended her set after just 40 minutes. Fans who’d paid up to $85 (£50) for a ticket were raging at the perceived lack of value for money as a lot of her set came from the Jesus is Magic DVD. You can make British people wait in line for two days, we’ll say “sorry” when you barge into us, but GIVE US VALUE FOR MONEY, dammit.

“It was a great show – what more do you want? Go home!”, she said, after being forced back onto stage. But comments from concert-goers dubbed her set “unprofessional [and] boring” and said,”I have never been more p*ssed off at paying £45 to see someone so unentertaining and completely unprepared.”

We bet Sarah’s quaking in her boots at the barrage of criticism posted by anonymous web users. Grrr. But seriously Sarah — weren’t we worth more effort? (Actually, don’t answer that) [Source: Times Online, The London Paper; Photo: Getty Images]

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Jack Osbourne Is Not A F*ckhead Anymore

Celebrity offspring Jack Osbourne has traded popping pills for popping himself off cliff-faces, all in the name of achieving that legal adrenaline rush, and we admire him for it, we really do. What we also admire him for is his admission that he was an irritating little sh*t on The Osbournes back in the day.

“I think it was expected that I would be a f*ckhead for the rest of my life. I’m glad I’m not pandering to that stereotype,” he told UK’s You magazine. “I’ve done a lot of stupid things … but if I’m going to go, I’d rather fall off El Capitan than OD in the Viper Room.”

We’re glad you’re not, too, Jack. There are plenty of other rockstar children out there who live up to that stereotype (again, hello, Peaches!) and we don’t need any more, thanks.

On a completely unrelated note, anyone else think he’s turning into Seth Rogen’s long-lost twin these days? [Photo: WireImage]