Posts By Becky Howard

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Ringo Starr Is A Miserable Twat

There’s an old school of thought about celebs, which says the least talented and Z-list they are, the most diva-ish they behave whereas the real, bona fide superstars are actually pretty nice. And that theory’s been born out by the two remaining Beatles, Ringo “Octopus’s Garden” Starr and Sir Paul “Yesterday and about a million other classic tunes” McCartney. Coming just days after Paul won legions of new fans by appearing in hilarious classic spoof Britain’s Got The Pop Factor with comedian Peter Kay (watch the clip after the jump), Ringo showed a total lack of sense of humour by posting a bizarre clip on his website. In it, he commands his fans not to send him any more fanmail, like, EVER. Because he’s too busy.

“I want to tell you, please, after the 20th of October, do not send fan mail to any address that you have. Nothing will be signed after the 20th of October. If that has the date on the envelope it’s going to be tossed.”

“I’m warning you, with peace and love, but I have too much to do, so no more fan mail, thank you, thank you, and no objects to be signed nothing. Peace and love, peace and love.”

“Peace and love” off yourself, Ringo! If he’s got any fans left after this bizarre tirade, we’ll be stunned.

Read more…

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Posh and Becks’ Clothes Stolen, Put On Ebay

OMG, David and Victoria Beckham are so royal these days, they even have their own thieving staff! (Just like Diana’s idiot butler Paul Burrell was accused of before them. Yes we know he was innocent, but we still think he’s an idiot). June and Eric Emmett, who have worked with the couple for ten years and look after their British pile Beckingham Palace, were arrested on suspicion of theft after items belonging to the couple cropped up on eBay. Posh’s eagle eyed parents Tony and Jackie spotted some of her designer gear and Becks’s soccer boots on the site (which begs the question, what were they searching for in the first place? Anyway), and then checked that the items were missing from the house. The Emmetts have now been bailed pending further enquiries, while Posh arrived in London yesterday.

“They are both very shaken. The idea someone has been rifling through their personal possessions is bad enough, but to think it is allegedly people they trusted so much is even more horrific,” a source told The Sun. [Photo: Getty Images]

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Amy Winehouse Invents New Way To Be A Junkie

Just when you thought car-wreck Amy Winehouse couldn’t get more, well, wrecky, along comes this jaw-dropper of a rumor. The latest skinny on the skinny superstar is that she’s managed to combine her love of sweeties and other less-legal treats by mixing them up, literally. Yes, Amy has created “Coke Candyfloss.”

“It was Mik’s [Amy's friend from Pete Doherty's band Babyshambles] idea. The candyfloss machine was Amy’s pride and joy and he thought it would be funny to give it a boost. He and some pals sprinkled a wrap of coke into the mixture and Amy started eating it before she realized what they’d done. She now thinks it’s a hoot to do the same,” a source told the News of the World.

Ew ew and triple ew. This is wrong on so many levels it’s hard to know where to start. Suffice it to say once mixing up your drugs and candy becomes the funniest thing you do, it’s time to get the hell out of the house. … [Photo: Getty Images]

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Miley Lines Up 20 British Guys, Not Coming Back To The U.S.

Woo! We’ve got Miley Cyrus over here in the UK right now, and it looks like we won’t be giving her back. The nearly-16-year-old has followed hot on the heels of the Jonas Brothers and the HSM3 drones by bringing her squeaky-clean-Disney-branded hysteria to London, and she’s followed in the footsteps of generations of Americans before her. Yes, Miley believes that our “cute” accents means we’re all super-smart and sexy.

“I’ve phoned my dad and told him not to expect me home. I want to live here. I’ve already fallen in love with 20 guys since I’ve been here. The accents sound so intelligent and I love the way the guys are so classy and wear trenchcoats,” she said at the BBC Switch gig on Sunday.

A-hahahahahahhaaaa! The innocent (cough) teen has fallen for our evil ways! (Although I have no idea what she is talking about with the trenchcoats). Let’s strike a bargain, America. We’ll take Miley if you promise never to let Paris come back here again. Deal? [The Sun; Photo: Getty Images]

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Sharon Osbourne On Nicole Kidman: B*tch’s Forehead Looks Like A ‘Flatscreen TV’

Sharon Osbourne hasn’t been in the news so much this year, what with her being replaced as an X-Factor judge by Girls Aloud star Cheryl Cole. But you can’t keep an Osbourne down for long! She’s not only hosting VH1′s new Charm School, she’s making headlines for wading into the “Have they? Haven’t they?” debate with an attack on Nicole Kidman and her curiously shiny, immobile face.

“Oh my God! Those liars! I hate them! Those bitches! They are like, “I didn’t do anything.” Meanwhile, their eyebrows are [up] here. Lying bitch! Nicole Kidman’s forehead looks like a f*cking flatscreen TV!” she said on Chelsea Lately. “How big is that forehead?”

Sharon’s careful, considered debate (ahem) was possibly a response to Nic’s recent interview to Marie Claire magazine, where she pronounced her feature-free face totally un-messed-around-with. “To be honest, I am completely natural. I have nothing in my face or anything. I wear sunscreen, and I don’t smoke. I take care of myself. And I’m very proud to say that,” Nic said, while crossing her fingers behind her back (probably). But if we were you, Nicole, we’d rise above this. Just don’t get into a slanging match with La Osbourne you never know what you’ll end up getting through the mail. [Daily Mail; Photo: Getty Images]

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Angelina Proves Breast-Feeding Is Sexy In W Magazine

On one hand, it’s the most natural thing a mother can do for her babies. On the other hand, it’s Angelina fricking Jolie and she’s decided to show everybody in the pages of a major magazine. Whoah! There’s no doubt Brad Pitt’s missus looks even more beautiful than ever on the cover of the latest issue of W where she’s pictured breastfeeding one of the Wonder Twins – in a shot taken by Brad, no less.

In an interview further in the magazine, Angie reveals how falling for Brad made her change her mind about having biological children. “I think one of the life changing things that he did, one of many, is that I was absolutely never going to get pregnant. I never felt that it was the right thing to do …. I suppose I just looked at him and loved him and just felt open to [getting pregnant]. I suddenly wanted to. It’s one of those things you can’t explain.”

Sigh. We wish we could say something snarky or snide about this, but we just can’t. They are too damn perfect. Honestly, they had better not break up. Otherwise we will be very upset.

By the way, we wonder how Jamie Lynn Spears feels about this? We wouldn’t blame her if she was a little bit peeved. Angelina Jolie breastfeeds = beautiful art worthy of mag cover. Jamie Lynn breastfeeds = child porn. Ah well.

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Richard Gere: Hamster Never Went Up My Bum

We can’t remember how many years ago we heard the infamous “Richard Gere got a hamster stuck up his bottom” legend — suffice it to say that over many years it passed into folklore and we were considering passing it on to our children as a bedtime story, then to our children’s children. It’s nice to have these traditions, no?

But unfortunately, Richard Gere himself has ruined our dreams, by actually confronting the long-running rumour and nixing it. “I stopped reading the press a long time ago. Lots of crazy things came up about me at first, especially from the tabloids. There is an infamous ‘Gere stuck a hamster up his bum’ urban myth. I just decided not to pay attention to any of it. It’s a waste of energy,” he told Metro.

There’s something squeamishly embarrassing about the fact Gere knows about this rumour. Who told him? We want to meet the guy or girl that actually went up to the silver fox and asked him about his ass and a small rodent-like creature. Still, in the meantime, we’re going to have to seek out a new celebrity, and a new totally improbable rumor to pass along. [Photo: AFP]

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The Scandalist Scoop: Friday, Oct. 10

AP

Lindsay Lohan wants deposition sealed

LOS ANGELES – Lindsay Lohan doesn’t want to be on camera, at least not when she’s giving a deposition. Lawyers for Lohan filed a motion on Wednesday seeking a judge’s order barring any filming of the actress’ upcoming deposition in a case filed by gal pal Samantha Ronson. Ronson sued her former lawyers in May, claiming they failed to represent her adequately when she sued bloggers, including Perez Hilton. Ronson claimed the bloggers defamed her by writing that she had planted drugs in Lohan’s car and was exploiting the actress to the paparazzi.

Slash to play at Rock Hall’s tribute to Les Paul

CLEVELAND – Slash will play at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s tribute concert for his guitar hero Les Paul. Paul is expected to attend the American Music Masters series event. The lineup of guitar virtuosos for the November 15th concert includes Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top, The Ventures and Richie Sambora of Bon Jovi.

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OMG! Zac Attacked By English Bloke!

Calm down girls, he’s OK. He’s OK. But Zac Efron had a near escape last night when a deranged fan in London tried to grab his dreamy, coiffed hair. You’d imagine this crazed Zac lover would be approximately 14, female and possessed of a typical adolescent obsession.

Not a middle-aged man, wearing an ill-advised stripy shirt and jumper, and carrying a laptop bag (eh?). The over-zealous bloke lunged at Zac, who was leaving the Apollo theatre with gf Vanessa Hudgens and went straight for the HSM 3 star.

He was predictably pinned to the ground by security without getting his precious tuft of showbiz locks. Zac even recovered quickly enough to take full advantage of the UK’s less stringent drinking laws (you only have to be 18 to get legally smashed over here) to then pitch up at Soho’s Cuban bar Floridita and party until the early hours. Brave little soldier.

Related Scandalist Content: High School Musical 3 UK premiere photos

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Paris Hilton Still Has Shih-tzu For Brains

If you really want to be Paris Hilton’s new BF, it seems you’re going to have to overlook a hell of a lot of embarrassing gaffes, while smiling and petting her like the simple creature she is. In England to film her latest TV offering, Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend (do you see what we did there? Eh? Clever, no?), Paris wasted no time in venturing out to a traditional London boozer, The Punchbowl, which happens to be owned by Mr Madonna himself. All was going well, with Paris enjoying dinner with Guy Ritchie, when she rocked up at the bar and overheard the most overused phrase of the year so far — Credit Crunch.

“Credit Crunch? I think we’re filming there next week,” she said, and in one sentence undid all that new-found affection we had for her doing those fake-presidency videos. Oh, dear god.

She also vowed not to leave London “until I find that amazing girl or guy who can meet the challenges of being my British bestie.” Don’t say such things Paris, otherwise we’ll find it hard to sleep at night. We’ll even volunteer to do the dirty deed ourselves!