After watching Spider-Man: The Animated Series in 1997, we decided Venom and Mary Jane Watson were actually a better couple than Mary Jane and Spider-Man, and we haven’t looked back since. In case you’re new to the Internet, pretty much every TV show, movie or otherwise fictional couple has a huge fan base swooning over their relationship. It might be a well-established couple or the characters might have met once to sign for a UPS package, it doesn’t matter. Someone is obsessed with them declaring their eternal love. This is a phenomenon known as shipping, and it is 75% of the reason anyone even knows about Twilight.
Maybe we just spent too much time on Tumblr over the last twelve months (we really, really did!), but 2012 seemed like a year where shipping was front and center. From New Girl to Sherlock, everywhere we looked shippers were building onto the fictional universes they loved, mostly with smooching. So we decided to pay homage to the most passionately shipped relationships of this year as part of our Best of 2012. Don’t see your favorite couple? We probably just didn’t know about them yet, so inform us in the comments! 2013 is almost upon us and we want to feel that Venom/Mary Jane feeling again!
While the rest of the world could watch Matthew McConaughey spastically gyrate while wearing only a leather vest and cowboy hat until the end of time, at least one more person arrived on the earth today who doesn’t want to hear about your dumb male stripper movie, Dad. Jeez! You aren’t cool! Now get out of my room! TMZ reports that McConaughey’s wife Camila Alves gave birth to their third child earlier today in Austin, Texas. We’re betting New Baby McConaughey probably also wouldn’t want to hear about his dad’s role in Failure to Launch, but for a totally different reason. That reason being that it’s a terrible, terrible, terrible movie.
As you might recall, McConaughey announced his wife’s pregnancy back in July via Twitter. “Happy birthday America, more good news, Camila and I are expecting our 3rd child, God bless, just keep livin,” he gushed (The “alright, alright” at the end is silent.) McConaughey Baby #3 joins his or her four-year-old brother Levi and two-year-old Vida, who both know you once got arrested for playing the bongos naked, Dad, and frankly it makes us want to barf. Now get out of our rooms!
[Photo: Getty Images]
What would you do if someone gave your home a $200,000 makeover? After you stopped screaming, you’d probably start acting like a total weirdo, right? That’s certainly what Stacey Dash and Lindsay Lohan did during their respective appearances on Million Dollar Decorators. Which actress got nuttier? Let’s break down their episodes and see:
We don’t know if anyone knows the answer to this but why exactly did people dance before they knew about Beyonce‘s Super Bowl contest? What was the point exactly? We remember learning the Macarena in sixth grade, and that was over a decade before we even knew Beyonce would perform at the Super Bowl! We only ask because Pepsi announced today that 50 fans would be picked to accompany Bey onstage this February 3 for her Bowl performance. There must have been some deep, primordial knowledge guiding our ancestors’ feet, because obviously the history of human dance has been leading up to this one opportunity. We knew there had to be a reasonable explanation for why we’re still forced to do the Electric Slide at weddings…
According to the contest rules, fans should summit photos of themselves dancing by January 11; 100 photos will appear in a new Bey-centric Pepsi commercial, and 50 will actually appear with Beyonce in meat space. We’re assuming they must pick the 50 coolest dance moves when deciding who gets to go to New Orleans, so one else do the Robot! Especially the move where you make your arm swing back and forth like it’s on a broken hinge. That one is ours.
[Photo: Getty Images]
If anyone can make seeing a counselor seem like a cool Saturday night activity to do with your friends, it’s definitely Lady Gaga. “For those wondering about the “counseling” at the BTWBall BornBrave pre-show, it will be a fun tailgating experience for monsters to unite,” Lady Gaga tweeted to her fans today. “At the #BornBraveBus you have access to professional private or group chats about mental health, depression, bullying, school & friends.” Do we even have to say that we love this? What other international pop star is out there trying to make it okay for teens to get therapy? Not nobody!
First eating disorders, now depression: Gaga has clearly got her teen fans’ backs. Anything to lessen the stigma around mental illness is okay by us! “#BornBraveBus Is a place where mental health + depression are taken seriously w/ no judgement, FREE real help available to all #BraverWorld,” Gaga explained. “I feel like most kids don’t look for help because they feel embarrassed so mom + I wanted to break the stigmas around “help” and make it fun.” We are so all about this. Can we eventually have counseling buses at every concert? How about every high school football game? Just constantly driving the world around helping people? We need Bill Gates or someone equally as loaded to help make this happen immediately.
Oh, 2013! You cannot come soon enough! We had a lot of great moments this year, but between the Elmo sex scandal, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett‘s divorce and Amanda Bynes‘ still mystifying meltdown, we are ready for a fresh start. We might have spent the week celebrating the Best of 2012, but now we’re ready to say goodbye to all that by bidding goodbye to 10 Things We’d Like To Leave Behind In 2012.
We should have known it was too good to be true. Only Celebrity Gossip Santa himself could have given us a gift as wonderful as Kevin Federline‘s older brother claiming to be the father of Britney Spears‘ eldest son. Us Weekly reported earlier today that Christopher Federline had filed a restraining order against Spears’ on December 18, claiming she had stolen his credit card and made some purchases. In his court papers, he casually mentions the fact that he is the father of Sean Preston. The Smoking Gun now reveals that the court papers were seemingly filed by convicted felon Jonathan Lee Riches. How could we be so gullible? The details of the story alone should have tipped us off that it was fake:
Jessica Simpson, it might be time to get on board the acute morning sickness train. Everybody’s doing it: Kate Middleton, um, allegedly Kim Kardashian… Okay, that’s it so far. According to MediaTakeout, Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy with Kanye West was allegedly confirmed when a doctor visited her home to treat a nasty bout of “acute morning sickness” stemming from “the same illness that Princess Kate Middleton is suffering from.” Has debilitating nausea ever been so trendy? We sure hope not!
Of course, there’s literally no proof Kim and Kanye are even pregnant, let alone laying on the floor of the bathroom, drinking ginger ale and moaning. Plus the Duchess of Cambridge suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum, a pregnancy illness which tends to be rare. Unless Kim has the shadiest, most loose-lipped obstetrician of all time, we’re going to go ahead and call shenanigans on this morning sickness tale. But we’re not ready to let go of the pregnancy rumor entirely! Kim and Kanye have made it very clear they’re in it to win it, and rumors suggest that their long-term plans include a baby. Man, Kimye’s kids are going to be so cute. They’re the only reason we still put up with these too!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Soulja Boy, tell ‘em about the fantastic sale going on at Dress Barn! If you’re a person, place or thing that has $10 to spare, we’re excited to inform you that the “Pretty Boy Swag” rapper will hype you on on his music group’s Twitter account. Bossip alerted us to the fact that Soulja Boy’s website is selling everything from retweets and shout-outs for under $5 to a beat or verse for $10,000. You can buy it all right now on PayPal! How much to have Soulja Boy namecheck you in his next leaked dick pic? Too soon?
Considering his personal Twitter profile brags that he “just signed an 8 Million Dollar Endorsement Deal,” we don’t know exactly why Soulja Boy is giving out his Twitter love at such reasonable prices. That being said, there are plenty of people and places we think could use the Soulja Boy boost. Feel free to take our suggestions if you’ve got the $2.99, ya’ll!
There are things we loved about 2012, there are things we hated about 2012 and there are things we were ready to hate about 2012, but later came to realize were actually awesome. There’s nothing like being pleasantly surprised by something in pop culture, so we thought we’d give credit where credit is due. Here is our Best of 2012 ..that we were totally prepared to be the worst.