Move over, Jennifer Lawrence! Not all the way over; we still want to hang out with you forever. We just wanted to make room for Amanda Seyfried, who we liked the second her breasts told us it was raining in Mean Girls and whom we love now that she has apparently lost her filter. “I understand that I have a problem maybe, but you know? It really gets me through,” the Les Miserables actress laughed last night on Letterman when discussing the fact she was “pretty drunk” on whiskey during her interview. Eeeeee, girl! We know 50% of actors and actresses could probably say the same thing, but we enjoy the fact you actually did.
Posts By Halle Kiefer
On today’s Very Vh1, Halle Kiefer and Lindsey Weber will be riffing on Anne Hathaway‘s red carpet wardrobe malfunction, Drew Barrymore‘s adorable babe and the utter filth Nick Cannon shared about Mariah Carey on Stern yesterday. It should be great! Join us at 2:00pm EST! Just check out the video below to watch the show and click the comment icon in the upper right hand corner to participate in the chat.
Between the amazing sequined belt on that excellent white party dress, Schmidt’s lap dance skills and Zooey D breaking it down carol-style, tonight’s ep of New Girl was the best White Anglo-Saxon Winter Privilege Night gift a person could ask for! While we’re sort of peeved they never made it to the Gorilla Twin’s annual thump-thump (is that like a kiki for bros, maybe?), we’re glad we got to spent the night riding along with the gang, like a little cranberry trapped inside Winston’s ear canal:
Sorry AP9, if that is even your real name! The photos of you snuggling Coco at a nightclub recently might have been enough to start a marital dispute, but they were no match for the deep cosmic love that flows between Coco and Ice-T. So let us never talk about them splitting up ever, ever again. People’s Exhibit A: the pair were spotted out at an event at Last Rite’s Gallery in New York City Monday night. We can only assume their matching outfits were an intentional statement of solidarity…and awesomeness.
In case the solidness of their union was in doubt, Ice-T has been on a consistently hilarious rant against the haters pretty much all day, with bon mots like “Everyone with opinions about MY personal life.. Can ‘Eat a Hot Bowl of D—s’ Check YOUR b—-.” and of course “My wife checks 100k a week….. Worry about your broke h-….. Not your b—-. Not your concern.” Is it wrong to feel this emotionally invested in a couple you don’t know in real life? Maybe. On the other hand…well, we write celebrity gossip for a living and you read it. No one has to know how we feel here. No one. This is a safe space.
[Photo: Splash News Online]
We wish we could claim we were at all surprised by Nick Cannon‘s super TMI overshares on Howard Stern this morning. Scandalized, yes, but not surprised. Doesn’t it make a lot of sense that Nick and Mariah Carey would make love to Mimi’s music? Doesn’t it somehow feel right? Everyone else in the world has done it at some point; why shouldn’t they get the opportunity as well? That’s where we draw the line, though. Cannon’s admission that, uh, he masturbates to Mariah’s ballad “Hero” or how he and Mariah abstained from sex before marriage were a bit much. “It was Mariah Carey. If Mariah Carey gave a bad blowjob, I’m still going in,” Cannon said by way of explaining their abstinence. “Either way she’s still one of the most beautiful women on the planet.” Oh jeez, why did you have to call to mind a Mariah Carey blowjob? Now there is no way Mariah won’t scream at you over this!
On the other hand, Nick’s so friendly and goofy during the interview, we’re sure Mariah will only berate at him for a few hours. And let’s be honest…he might like. That doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t drop our monocles over the details of their sex life. Honestly, it’s almost like Jay-Z blowing up Beyonce‘s sexual spot. No,…forget we said that. That would never, ever, ever happen. Ever. If it would, you know we would immediately put it in our 20 Celebrity Sex Overshares:
[Photo: Getty Images]
We’ve lived with the Dark Knight series so long, we frankly couldn’t imagine a superhero who wasn’t a little emo. Even The Avengers featured Mark Ruffalo‘s moody, broody Hulk. Luckily, as director Zack Snyder’s Tree of Life-looking teaser trailer suggested and the film’s new trailer confirms, Man of Steel‘s Superman is all about the feels. Even the film’s IMDB description seems intent on resetting our expectations of Superman: “An alien infant is raised on Earth, and grows up with superhuman abilities. He sets out to use these abilities to guard his adopted world.” Uh, you mean the story of Superman? Which everyone in the world knows by heart? Fair enough. While most superheroes tend to be somewhat emotional (does everyone’s parents have to be dead?), Man of Steel seems to score highest on the Brooding Superhero Trope scorecard:
In case you didn’t know that Girls is returning to HBO for it’s second season January 13, the show has a new round of promos with the tagline #resolutionsGirlsbreak. After peeping the character’s pledges for the new year (does anyone’s heart not get treated like monkey meat on this show?) and watching last week’s Girls trailer, we have 5 resolutions of our own that we want Lena Dunham’s show to come through on. Hey, it’s not like the show has to go to the gym or anything! What would a TV show gym even look like? Remind us to make a resolution to draw up some schematics:
We know that all celeb kids are cute. Obviously. We have eyes with which to see. It’s just that some celeb kids have a preternaturally developed sense of style, while the rest of us are wearing old soccer t-shirts with grape juice stains. As adults. So while we are more than happy to squee over the most shabbily dressed bundle of joy, we’d like to give props to the Best of 2012 celeb kids and babies, from Moroccan Scott Cannon to Suri Cruise, who will be dictating what America will be wearing in five to ten years. Or right now. We already feel compelled to wear short pants, bow ties and pull-ups. Don’t tell us we can’t because we already stopped listening!
“The Big & Best of 2012: A Year End Celebration Presented by T-Mobile” goes LIVE at 12 p.m. ET on 12/12/12. Watch at BigAndBestOf2012.com for eight hours of live performances from stars like Bruno Mars and Miguel, surprise guest appearances, prize giveaways, special editions of “RapFix Live,” “Big Morning Buzz Live,” “MTV After Hours,” “You Oughta Know” and much more!
[Photo: Getty Images/ Instagram/ Splash News Online]
Good lord! That’s the most severe case of Dad ‘Stache we’ve ever seen! Will Ferrell was spotted at Art Basel in Miami this week, wearing what we can only assume is a costume for his upcoming role as a wise old fisherman. Or our uncle from Chicago. Our wise, old fisherman uncle from Chicago. Seeing as how the SNL alum is usually clean-shaven/the star of our elaborate Anchorman-themed fantasies, these photos go to show the devastation a bad mustache can bring to a celebrity’s handsome face. Ferrell obviously isn’t the only one to suffer a terrible lip rug, as our 10 Worst Celeb Mustaches can attest. Michael Cera? James Franco? Mickey Rourke? We don’t know why a line of hair can make so much of a difference, but it does. A terrible, terrible difference.
[Photo: Getty Images/ Splash News Online]