Posts By Halle Kiefer

by (@hallekiefer)

Holly Madison Confronts Hef And Crystal About Engagement

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Having seen Holly Madison’s thousand-yard-stare on The Girls New Door, we assumed something like this might happen. Now apparently Holly Madison confronted Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris about their engagement this week. When she learned that her former flame Hef had popped the question, Holly admitted, “I’m very surprised. I have a lot of different feelings on it. I don’t just feel one way. I kind of didn’t want to put a generic statement out there like ‘Congratulations!’ because I felt everyone would see through that.” Holly and Hef of course parted ways in 2008, after which Madison dated Benji Madden and Criss Angel among others. We can’t imagine Holly’s current boyfriend, All Time Low member Jack Barakat, is super-thrilled that his girl seems to still have feelings for her ex-grandpa boyfriend.

So in a terrible move contemplated by many women and stopped by (almost) an equal number of best friends, Holly met with Hef and Crystal at the Playboy Mansion this week to tell them her feelings on the engagement, aka scream “Why not me?” and throw baby-oil on Hef’s smoking jacket. “I wanted to see him and Crystal and tell everybody face-to-face how I felt,” Madison explained, who filmed the encounter for the new season of her E! show Holly’s World. “I’d describe it as awkward. I just wanted to get my feelings out about the engagement and I wanted to talk to him first. It’s definitely awkward to feel like you’re confronting someone. I’m glad I did it. I wanted to be fair and tell him first.” Let’s hope Holly got the closure she needed. If not, we can tune into her show and see a beautiful woman cry over the love of a mummy. Which would make an amazing title for Hef’s next reality show.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Could The New Jersey Shore Cast Member Out-Snooki Snooki?

When Jersey Shore’s Sammi said her new cast member Deena Cortese was “exactly like Snooki,” she was not joking around. In fact, the clips we’ve seen so far made us sort of worried that Deena, Snooki’s friend IRL, might be so Snickerfied that our girl Snooki’s original spark could be lost under twice the amount of bronzer. As the Jersey Shore season premiere nears, we couldn’t help but note that the Jersey stars similarities include:

  • Approximately Cabbage Patch Doll-height in inches
  • Color of tan best described as “Well-Used Basketball”
  • Deena is as smush-crazy as Snooki, if not more so. As Deena explained to Life & Style, “The most guys I’ve hooked up with in one night is probably three,” the use of the word “probably” implying to us that she might not exactly know what her highest number is. “People consider me a man-eater. I don’t really like dating, though. Dates can be so awkward!”
  • Deena has already showed “her goods” to The Situation, as she explained to VH1.com this morning, further following in Snooki’s footsteps. Well, and the footsteps of every girl on the Eastern Seaboard.

Read more…

by (@hallekiefer)

Betty Ford Employee Issues Statement Defending Lohan: Will It Help Or Hurt?

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In a move that seems like it will almost certainly do more harm than good, former Betty Ford employee Dawn Holland issued a statement defending Lohan against accusations that Lindsay violated her parole during an altercation with Holland, even attempting to clarify that it was Lindsay who called 911 rather than the rehab technician herself. We don’t know if a vote of support from someone who violated patient confidentiality laws to gossip about Lindsay is necessarily something Lohan wants or needs. We guess it’s the thought that counts?

The statement, issued through Holland’s lawyer Keith Davidson, reads: “It is important to note that it was Ms. Lohan, and not Ms. Holland who called 911 on December 12th. Had Ms. Lohan not called 911 – this incident never would’ve been public knowledge, let alone criminally investigated. Ms Holland has long held that recovery is not always a pretty process and the workings of a recovery center have never been for the faint of heart. As a recovering addict herself, Ms. Holland is proud of Lindsay for making the always difficult voyage toward recovery. Had the interaction between these two ladies occurred in front of a police officer anywhere in this Country, no probation would’ve been violated, no arrests would’ve been made and certainly no criminal charges would have been filed. The recent reports of criminality and probation violations are much adieu about nothing.” What kind of police officers does Keith Davidson think are patrolling our streets? We’ve seen Cops; we imagine they would have pried the two shrieking women apart at least.

One claim that the statement doesn’t address is Holland’s assertion that Lindsay was visibly wasted during the altercation. In a statement today, Lohan’s lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley denied claims that Lohan drank or took drugs at all while in treatment. “I had numerous conversations with Betty Ford counselors and doctors over the course of Lindsay’s treatment there and it was never suggested by anyone that she ever drank or used drugs. Her discharge letter from the facility is totally consistent with that,” Chapman Holley claims. We honestly don’t know who to believe at this point: the lawyer being paid to defend Lindsay or the clinic employee who was paid to blab about her.
[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Michelle Williams Gave “Devastating” Interview About Heath “To Please People”

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Having recently opened up about her ex-boyfriend and father of her child in a deeply personal episode of Nightline, it seems that Michelle Williams now regrets giving the interview about Health Ledger. When chatting with the Daily Beast, a frustrated Williams explained, “I just had an experience with Nightline that got edited in such a way that seemed as if I did go too far. It was a three-hour interview that was edited in such a way that was devastating to me.” In addition to producers whittling her words down into sound bites, Williams seems to blame herself in part for saying too much in the interview about ex Heath. “I mean, I am still such the-good-girl. I want everybody to like me. I want everybody to be happy. I want to please people. So that desire in the moment overrode that ‘me’ that is on top of myself, that ‘me’ that is on top of a situation,” Michelle said. Well, if her Golden Globe nomination is any indication, liking Michelle Williams isn’t a problem for the general population, regardless of what she reveals about her personal life.

Chopped-up and reassembled as it may be, it sounds like much of the sentiment expressed in the interview remains true. When asked how her feelings about Ledger might more accurately be expressed, Williams muses, “How do I talk about this? I experienced a lot of loss after his death. I lost my city because of all the paparazzi descending upon us. I actually lost my journal during that time, oddly enough. I literally couldn’t hold on to anything. It felt as if things were literally slipping through my fingers. Things were just streaming away from me. I lost my sense of humor. I’m still sort of looking for that.” Hey, give yourself a break Michelle. Until your funny bone resurfaces, we’ll be happy to act as a back-up for you.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Julia Roberts Says “We’re F—ed” If Academy Ignores Javier Bardem

Oscar Nominations come out January 25, and actors are ravenous for little tiny statues they can display in their bathrooms. Leading the brigade is Julia Roberts as she campaigns for Javier Bardem in Biutiful like a furious grizzly bear campaigns to keep hikers away from her cubs. Raves Roberts about Bardem’s role in the Spanish-language film, which she screened for a high-profile audience in L.A., “He’s so raw and completely open to sharing every emotion this character has.” When an EW interviewer informed her that someone he knew couldn’t finish the film as it was too “bleak,” Roberts retorted, “I don’t know how you couldn’t want to know what happens. I hope that person is haunted until the end of time wanting to know what happened.” Til the end of time! A-list actresses with their claws out are just the thing to get us through these long winter months. And even longer award shows.

So if her Eat Pray Love co-star was soooo great in his new film, why wouldn’t Javier get a nom? According to Roberts, it all has to do with the award campaign process. “I think the movie hasn’t gotten the exposure. You don’t know where it is. It’s like this hidden little jewel. Especially in this particular season, people don’t hunt for things. They just take what you throw in their face,” Julia explains. Like when Sandra Bullock campaigned so hard for The Blind Side last year that she won Best Actress, even though the movie is basically a cheesy family drama. Wait, who said that? Oh right, it was us. So if Bardem doesn’t get the nod? “If there’s not hope for talent, then we’re f–ed,” Julia fumed. She doesn’t just mean Hollywood either, you guys. She means everyone on the planet. And we believe her, because she’s Julia f—ing Roberts.

by (@hallekiefer)

Nicole Kidman Tortures Jen Aniston With Perfect Husband Keith Urban

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It must have been hard for Jennifer Aniston to interview Critics’ Choice Movie Award nominee Nicole Kidman about her amazing spouse when she kept “getting something in her eye” and had to weep for 45 minutes at a time. As the Just Go With It co-stars revealed in an interview for Harper’s Bazaar, Nicole Kidman prayed for husband Keith Urban…or a man just like him. About meeting her future hubby in 2005, Kidman gushes, “I remember thinking, Oh my God, if you ever gave me a man like that, I promise I would be completely devoted for the rest of my life. Something that wild. I remembered praying after I met him that I’d meet somebody, if not him, like him.” Jeez Nicole, have some tact. You don’t show a starving person your delicious pastrami sandwich when you know they don’t have one of their own.

Despite the wild success both women have had in their field, both Aniston and Kidman agree that nothing is more important than a man. Nothing! “Jen and I like to ask people if they would rather have a great love that lasts a lifetime or an amazing career where you go down in history. Some people do answer that they want an extraordinary career,” Nicole explained. Predictably Aniston didn’t agree with that point of view, maintaining “I know what I would choose. That’s a no-brainer. I would choose the love of my life.” We get it, Jen! You’re a 40-year-old millionaire with the body of a college sophomore, but it all means nothing without a big slobbery dope to love. We get it already.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@hallekiefer)

Taylor Swift And Jake Gyllenhaal Split; Taylor’s Next Album Get Its First Song

If today the sun seemed a little bit less sunny and fewer woodland animals seemed to frolic together in the woods, it was probably because they just found out about the Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal break up. “They’re over. It ended last month,” a source reported to People. It did seem a little suspicious that Taylor would spend her New Year’s Eve in Nashville while Gyllenhaal partied in New York. How could they hold hands and give each other little butterfly kisses if they’re not even in the same state? You can’t go apple-picking over Skype, you guys!

While Swift and Gyllenhaal spent Thanksgiving snuggling and drawing turkeys by tracing their hands (we’re imagining that’s something they’d do), the last time the couple had been spotted out on the town together was December 9. So what do you think the song about him Taylor is currently writing will be titled? “Dear Jake?”? “Why’d I Gyllen-fall For You”? “I Blame That Accursed Anne Hathaway“?

by (@hallekiefer)

Dancer Faceplants Epically On Paula’s Live To Dance Premiere

Imagine it. It’s your time to shine. You’ve been practicing your routine for weeks and watching Black Swan (just the ballet parts!) on repeat. You’re ready to not only dance for the biggest audience of your life, but to also meet your idol: one Ms. Paula Abdul. You step out from behind the curtain to thunderous applause. Next thing you know, your skull is thudding against the stage like a watermelon slipping from a fat man’s hands. What else could you have expected except hitting the floor in a complete face plant on Paula Abdul’s Live To Dance, premiering Tuesday night?

You handle your humiliation well, or at least don’t burst into tears. “I think I slammed my head,” you say because, well, you slammed your head incredibly hard. While you put your hand over the gigantic gruesome welt on your forehead, Paula seems remarkably kind and lucid, though that could just be the editing. And as host Andrew Gunsberg hurries you off to see a medic/sign one million waivers saying you won’t sue their pants off, you can be proud knowing that most people in your situation wouldn’t have the courage to get back up and finish. Most people would also probably be knocked unconscious, but still. Well done.

by (@hallekiefer)

Eddie Murphy’s Ex Burned Through $15 Million In 4 Years, Now Broke As A Joke

Joining the long illustrious list of celebrity bankruptcies, apparently Eddie Murphy’s ex Nicole Mitchell is broke after blowing through $15 million in 4 years, or since the couple’s divorce was finalized in 2006. Mother of five of Murphy’s seven kids, Mitchell reportedly took her divorce settlement as one lump payment rather than in monthly increments, which must have seemed like such a good idea at the time. Supposedly Nicole is not only flat-broke but owes $846,000 in tax liens, as well as millions toward her house, legal fees and landscaping fees. We can’t even imagine how someone would spend that much moola in just a few years, but we can safely assume it involves exorbitantly expensive topiary. Or it’s yacht-related, one of the two.

While her own finances are in dire straits, Mitchell is currently engaged to former NFL player and current FOX NFL studio analyst Michael Strahan. Now we’re not saying Nicole is a gold digger, mainly because if she is, then she is TERRIBLE at it. We’re just saying maybe you should think about getting a pre-nup, Michael. And a high-quality padlock to put on your yacht.

by (@hallekiefer)

Kelly Osbourne On Replacing Drugs With Food, Sex With Ice-Cold Showers

Now that so many celebrities are getting media-savvy, it’s sort of refreshing to hear about Kelly Osbourne’s ex-fiance, drug use and weight loss all within one interview! While talking with British Cosmo, Osbourne let slip a little TMI about her ex of sixth months Luke Worrall, target of Kelly’s Twitter melt-down and purported man-slut. “I think we need to spend time working on ourselves, but it doesn’t erase the fact that I’m head over heels in love with him … I haven’t been with anyone since Luke,” Kelly revealed. She like a lady Kanye!

Osbourne also gabs about painful gossip regarding her weight, packed on after a trip to rehab. “When you’re a fat girl in Hollywood, it’s not fun. You never get looked at the way skinny girls do. I covered it up with my humor, but suddenly I found myself unfunny and hated what I saw.” By fat, Kelly means still 20 pounds thinner than the rest of America, but we digress. “I replaced drugs with food. I was emotionally eating and hated the way I looked, but I couldn’t mask my self-loathing with pills anymore.” Osbourne eventually found the cure-all that is Dancing With The Stars and is looking slimmer and feeling healthier than ever.

But in case you’re wondering if Kelly will tweet the deets immediately if anything personal or icky happens, don’t worry. Just yesterday Osbourne took to Twitter to exclaim, “Not sure weather I am going to throw up out my ass or mouth right now on bathroom floor dying!!!” We feel the same way, Kelly. The exact same way.