Posts By Halle Kiefer

by (@hallekiefer)

“Stay Away From Michael J. Fox’s Son”: The 17 Best Quotes From Tonight’s Golden Globes

Best Quotes From the 2013 Golden Globes

We feel like we just ate a hearty meal…of celebrity zingers! Much like the food that bares their name, sometimes zingers are all you need to feel satisfied. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler certainly know what we’re talking about, what with all the A-list riffing they served up at tonight’s Golden Globes. Of course, plenty of other celebs got in on the action, too: Sacha Baron Cohen ripped on Russell Crowe, Aziz Ansari cracked wise about Downton Abbey, Jodie Foster, um, went after Honey Boo Boo. Really. Seriously. If you like the sound of that,  you’re going to love our 17 Best Golden Globes quotes (in addition to our 7 Best Zingers from the Golden Globes opener!):

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by (@hallekiefer)

From Kaley Cuoco To Julianna Margulies, So Many Celebs Went Goth At The Golden Globes

Goth Fashion at the Golden Globes

E!’s Ryan Seacrest kept predicting the Golden Globes red carpet would be a rainbow of color. While we love, love, loved the pops of vibrant color we did see, we were completely surprised by the sea of black, dark lipstick and Gothic details. From Kaley Cuoco‘s purple lip to Giuliana Rancic‘s Victorian gown, celebs took it dark on the red carpet. Seriously, both Julianna Margulies and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley are basically high-fashion dominatrices. Dominatri? What we’re trying to say is, middle school us would be all about these Goth looks.

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{Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Tina And Amy Are Just Getting Started: The 7 Best Zingers From Tonight’s Golden Globes Opener

Tina Fey, Amy Poehler Rip on Celebs At The Golden Globes

Oh, it’s everything we dreamed and more. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler went full Gervais in the Golden Globes opener, ragging on everyone from James Franco to Quentin Tarantino to, well, Ricky Gervais. While we are bound to hear about 1,000 more excellent jibs before the end of the awards ceremony, here are the seven best zingers from tonight’s Golden Globes opener:

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by (@hallekiefer)

Zooey Deschanel, Kelly Osbourne Bring Their Nail Game To The Golden Globes Red Carpet

Golden Globes Nails

Like we would expect anything less. Zooey Deschanel started the Golden Globes red carpet off right with an adorable film strip mani. “#GoldenGlobes manicure! Movie camera and film strip. By @redcarpetmen,” the New Girl star gushed on Twitter. Also tweeting the deets about her next level nail game is Kelly Osbourne. “Nice new nails!!!!,” the E! correspondent posted on Twitter. We normally wince at a supersharp nail, but come on. They are golden hearts she’s wearing with a pale green dress. We aren’t made of stone.

Nicole Richie also paired a set of dark gray talons with her ice blue dress, while Julianne Hough topped off her gold-studded gown with a gold-tipped burgundy mani. We’ll be adding more nail looks through the night, so come back and peep the celeb nail game!

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[Photo: Getty Images/Twitter]

by (@hallekiefer)

On the Downside, Jennifer Lawrence And Nicholas Hoult Split Up. This Is Also The Upside.

NOOOOOOOO! But also, ooooooooo! We’ve had a couple crush on Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult ever since the Catching Fire star gave an amazing Elle quote about her mans back in November: [My boyfriend] is honestly my best friend, and hopefully I’m his best friend too. He’s my favorite person to be around and makes me laugh harder than anybody.” Awww! So you can understand why half of us is super bummed that Us Weekly claims they’ve split. The other half, however, recognizes the fact that they are now both single, which means we have potentially two new celeb couples to squee over. Haha, it’s just math! Delicious, sex math!

Us Weekly reported earlier today that the two have ended their two-year relationship. There are virtually no deets as to why they parted ways, other than the vague claim the two “grew apart,” which makes us believe Jennifer and Nicholas are both being as classy as we would have expected about the whole thing. The more we think about it, however, the less we understand. If we met someone who loved Honey Boo Boo, cheese steaks and old strippers as much as we do, why, we’d never let er go! On the other hand, to think that Jennifer saw the trailer for Warm Bodies and was apparently able to give up that zombie fineness doesn’t make a lick of sense. The only way we’re going to feel better about this is if you guys take it on yourselves to start dating JLaw and Nicholas. Go! Go now and find them! You didn’t have any weekend plans until the Golden Globes anyway!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@hallekiefer)

Tina And Amy Will Be Great, But How Will They Compare To Our 7 Favorite SNL Alum Hosts?

Tina Fey, Amy Poehler Host Golden Globes

It is without question that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are going to dominate this Sunday’s Golden Globes ceremony. We know this like we know the sun will rise tomorrow. Between their hosting gig and Andy Samberg‘s new job hosting the Independent Spirit Awards, we started to wonder which SNL alums have also tried their hands (and succeeded!) at the award show hosting game.

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by (@hallekiefer)

You’re Pretty Sure You Hate Girls, But Let’s Help You Reconsider Before Season 2 Starts

It seems to us that vast majority of people who hate Girls haven’t actually seen the show. Not that there aren’t plenty of people who tuned in for the first season and decided it wasn’t for them; they just don’t happen to be the people who seem to really loathe it. If you know for sure you hate Girls and yet haven’t actually watched it, or you saw the first ep and bailed, indulge us for a few minutes when we try to explain why you should tune in to the show’s second season. Open your mind and heart to this reality!

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by (@hallekiefer)

Ted Nugent Compares Gun Owners To Rosa Parks, Adds To Giant Pile Of Insane Nuge Quotes

Ted Nugent Comapres Gun Owners To Rosa Parks
Rocker Ted Nugent has always been something of a loose cannon, but he sure seems to be reaching for the nutter butter stars now that public opinion is calling for a conversation about gun control. “There will come a time when the gun owners of America, the law-abiding gun owners of America, will be the Rosa Parks and we will sit down on the front seat of the bus, case closed,” Nugent told WorldNetDaily. We’d joke that Rosa Parks is spinning in her grave right now, but that would falsely imply that Rosa Parks would ever care what Ted Nugent said or did about anything. Ever.

Of course, comparing himself to one of the most famous civil rights activists of all time is par for the insane course with Ted Nugent. Check out the other bizarre Nuge quotes that we hand-selected to round out the 5 most insane Ted Nugent quotes. Or you can check out literally anything he puts on Twitter. It’s your call!

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by (@hallekiefer)

We Never Would Have Thought It Possible, But We’re Slowly Becoming Seth MacFarlane Fans

Seth MacFarlane: More Charming Than Thought Possible

It’s just so rare to completely change our minds about a celebrity, but here we are in 2013…learning to love Seth MacFarlane. It’s not that we ever hated Seth MacFarlane, per say. It’s just with Family Guy, American Dad and The Cleveland Show informing the zeitgeist for the past 14 years, we had long ago suffered from an acute case of McFarlane Overload (Main symptom: extreme nausea and diarrhea upon hearing a Stewie impression.) But despite all of our male cousins quoting everything Seth has ever written since 1999, we realized something as we watched MacFarlane’s first Oscar promo today. We realized we’re basically Seth MacFarlane fans now.

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by (@hallekiefer)

Justin Bieber’s Assault Lawsuit Way Less Hilarious Than All Those Other Lawsuits Against Him

Justin Bieber sued for allegedly assaulting body guard

Between getting accused of stealing a credit card to purchase a penis pump, allegedly deafening a woman with an aluminum gondola (no, we will not let that go) and fathering a stranger’s fictitious baby, Justin Bieber has been on the receiving end of some pretty hysterical lawsuits this year. The new lawsuit claiming he assaulted one of his former bodyguards, however? Significantly less so. According to TMZ, Moshe Benabou has allegedly accused the “Beauty And A Beat” singer of assault and battery after Justin allegedly “punched him in the chest multiple times during a disagreement about how to handle a member of Bieber’s entourage.” Interestingly, this is the same security guard who brawled with a paparazzo in February of last year; he was let go in October 2012. Man, things get really intense when you hang with Bieber. We thought the worst you’d have to worry about would be all the horrible beef jerky and Mountain Dew farts.

Sadly, this isn’t the first time the Biebs has been accused of Hulking out on someone. As you might recall, he got sued by a paparazzo back in May; Justin allegedly got physical after the photographer pursued him and Selena Gomez through Calabasas, California. Benabou is also seeking $420,000 worth of unpaid overtime, but sources claim he is merely “disgruntled employee looking for money.” Ah, but can’t it be both? It’s probably both. Or just one. We don’t want to argue about it! Justin’s tiny fists would shatter us like glass!

[Photo: Splash News Online]