There’s so much to talk about! Join Halle Kiefer and Lindsey Weber on Very VH1 today as they discuss Al Roker and the Greatest Celebrity TMI of All Time, the alleged end of Taylor Swift and Harry Styles, Ryan Lochte‘s new reality show and more! Tune in at 2PM EST. Check out the video below to watch the show and click on the comment icon in the upper right hand corner to participate in the chat. See you then!
We always knew we liked Al Roker. That charming smile, that warm laugh, that total lack of filter. We also knew we were leery of gastric bypass surgery. Turns out, we were right on all accounts, as evidenced by the fact that…um…Al Roker accidentally pooped his pants at the White House. While that’s certainly better than intentionally pooping your pants at the White House, it’s both amazing and shocking to hear the Today Show weatherman admit to going Code Brown with the President of the United States in the next room. Apparently it all started after Al allegedly ate something outside of the dietary restrictions set following his surgery. “And as I’m walking to the press room, I think I gotta pass a little gas here. So, I’m walking by myself, who’s gonna know, only, a little something extra came out,” Al admits to Dateline‘s Dr. Nancy Snyderman. “I pooped in my pants. Not horribly, but enough that I knew.” Not. Horribly. Not horribly, but enough that everyone in the free world would one day know.
When we included Ryan Lochte on our 10 Things We’d Like to Leave Behind In 2012, we were only referring to medal-winning, Speedo-filling, grill-sporting, 30 Rock-cameoing Ryan Lochte. We enjoyed that Ryan Lochte immensely! We just felt like we’d had enough of him. The part of us that selected him as #12 on our 12 Celebs Who Dominated 2012 list must have known something wonderful was a-brewin’. That something is an E! reality show entitled What Would Ryan Lochte Do? You know, like those bracelets that ask What Would Jesus Do? So, so great. We really underestimated this guy. Plus we’re finally going to find out exactly how many pools Ryan has peed in!
“How deep is the pool of Ryan Lochte? It turns out, very deep.” E! wisely asked today while announcing the new six-episode series. The show will follow Lochte in and out of the water as he trains for the 2016 Rio Olympics, as well as manages his fashion line, interacts with his friends and family and (be still our hearts!) spends his spare moments “looking for the right girl.” This man’s life could not be more perfectly-suited for a reality show. Plus you know there’s a cavernous warehouse already filled with Jeah! t-shirts somewhere. E! just saved themselves some money right there.
We all remember what happened to Ryan Gosling‘s character at the end of Drive, don’t we? (He drives up to Heaven, right? Did we interpret that last shot wrong?) The Place Beyond The Pines trailer seems to have the potential for even more violence than that, what with all the bank robbing and the motorcycle death cage and such. Even Blue Valentine left Gosling’s character basically destroyed, albeit in an emotional sense. We were hoping to get a Crazy. Stupid. Love. to break up the brutality of Ryan’s career trajectory, but instead we got the teaser trailer for Only God Forgives, Gosling’s new Thai kickboxing movie. Oh yeah, he’s gonna get punched in the eye for sure.
As short as the teaser is, we only need to see 20 seconds of director Nicolas Winding Refn‘s new thriller to know it is as gritty and teeth-shattering as all of Gosling’s recent films. Did we mention the upcoming movie stars Ryan as a “gym owner who has to take out his brother’s murderer — or perish himself.” Yeah, we wouldn’t blame Ryan if his next film was, say, Smurfs 3: This Time It’s Smurf-onal. Just to give his fists a break.
Shame on us forgetting the piercing blue eyes and adorable smile of Kyle XY star Matt Dallas. Happy 2013 to us. Oh, and to Dallas too. Apparently he rang in the new year by both publicly announcing his engagement and the fact his beloved is a man in one convenient tweet! “Starting off the year with a new fiance, @bluehamilton. A great way to kick off 2013!” the actor gushed along with a photo of his musician boyfriend. On top of that, Matt’s tweet also introduced the world to the cutest dog alive and his little monkey friend. What can’t 140 characters do?
We could not be more pleased with your decision-making skills, Ashley Tisdale. You too, Ashley Tisdale’s agent and manager and anyone else who helped her land the role of Nicolas Cage‘s offspring in Left Behind. According to Deadline, the former High School Musical star has been cast as Chloe Steele; she and father Ray Steele must learn how to survive on Earth after the biblical Rapture. We guess what we’re saying is, a Christian-themed apocalyptic action movie starring Nicolas Cage is an automatic Wicker Man-style cult hit, and Ashley was smart to get on board.
It’s not like Ashley Tisdale hasn’t been getting work, of course. She’s lined up to voice Sabrina Spellmen in the Sabrina The Teenage Witch reboot as well as Scary Movie 5, and recently did two episodes of Sons Of Anarchy. If anything, daughter of Cage is the perfect compliment to girl sorceress, comedy horror victim and prostitute. All those roles sound vaguely Cage-like as well! Hmmm, maybe Nicolas Cage could mentor Ashley into becoming some kind of Lady Cage? A new generation of Cage fans are dying to know how did it get burned, and Ashley Tisdale seems like the perfect person to tell them!
We for one have never understood people who think Zooey Deschanel‘s wardrobe is too twee. Or cutesy or quirky or young or whatever it is the Internet is saying this week. Why not take on sunshine and polka dots too, if girly things make you that mad? Turns out, we’re not the only ones rolling our eyes at the inexplicable hate. “I’m just being myself. There is not an ounce of me that believes any of that crap that they say,” Zooey rages in her new Glamour interview. “We can’t be feminine and be feminists and be successful? I want to be a f—ing feminist and wear a f—ing Peter Pan collar. So f—ing what?” Preach. Amen.
We think it’s both hilarious that Zooey knows how everyone associates her with Peter Pan collars, and feel the need to point out that eevery single famous woman wears them. We’d be wearing one too if we weren’t still wearing our pajamas. (Some of us work from home and we haven’t found PJs with Peter Pan collars yet.)(Please get on it, Zooey.) So in defense of offing Peter Pan collars and Zooey’s right to wear them, we thought we’d give props to the other celebrities who have been looking on point in a Peter Pan collar. It’s the perfect look for any feminist millionaire with her own TV show!
Okay, okay. So we don’t actually know if the Evil Dead remake is going to be any good. Remember the Prometheus trailer? That thing is a work of art where as the movie itself…well, it was a work of fart. A true work of fart. As huge Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell fans, we were more than a little leery of an Evil Dead remake, but today’s new (incredibly gory) red band trailer fills us with glee. And by “glee,” we mean “some kind of gross black ooze that slides out of our mouth like a waking nightmare.”
And that ooze got us thinking. From Total Recall to Dredd, there were so many mediocre remakes last year (see also: every movie coming out in the next three years), it’s hard to remember that a lot of remakes are actually really, really good. Don’t believe us? Oh, you silly minxes. Just check out our 10 Best Remakes and know how wrong you are.
Uh oh. If you’re one of those haters who experiences visceral disgust every time Miley Cyrus smooch one of her many, many adorable dogs, we would suggest you look away right now. Also, maybe stop following her on Twitter? Why are you even following her in the first place? It’s pretty much 90% dog kisses on there! “Meet Bean ❤❤❤@SpotRescueDogs,” Miley gushed along with a photo of her adorable bug-eyed pup. “Bean is a little girl she is a chihuahua mix of some type she brought so much sunshine!!!” Might we suggest you follow the Pope Benedict’s Twitter, haters? Guaranteed 100% dog kiss free! Although that would be pretty adorable…
As you might recall if you are a fan of Cyrus’ affectionate dog pack, the singer was devastated when her pooch Lila died early last month. “for everyone asking… I have never been so hurt in my life. My heart has never been so broken….. Lila my sweet baby girl has passed away,” Miley tweeted at the time. Hopefully baby Bean will bring some sense of completion to Miley’s ever-expanding pack, who you can see in all their doggy glory kissing and/or being kissed by Miley below. Oh, and her Twitter pretty much every day of the week. Haters, we’re sorry, but there is nothing for you here.
What a strange editing choice someone made for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler‘s new Golden Globes promo. How interesting! How bizarre! We don’t know if someone spliced out their interview questions for time or that same someone is communicating with Tina and Amy telepathically (perhaps it was an Avatar!), but either way the split second of weird uncomfortableness during their convo just makes us more psyched to see Amy and Tina hosting in the flesh January 13. Remember when Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Globes in 2011? It was nothing but weird uncomfortableness. Uncomfortableness and jokes about The Tourist.
Seriously though, these two are going to dominate that “sloppy, loud” party, even if Tina hates everyone and doesn’t want to meet anybody. Man, we hope we get treated to at least one Tina/Amy musical number! Just for the record, we’re assuming Les Miserables is going to be this year’s Avatar, just with fewer sex scenes. Our only question is…what happens when only one of them can win the Best Performance By An Actress In A Television Series – Comedy Or Musical? If we have to watch our favorite celebrity friendship crumble on TV, so help us blergh…!