There are two thoughts one has when reading about a 19-month-old child survivng a thirty foot fall from a window without injury. One is “wow, what a lucky baby.” The other is “where the hell was his seriously f*cking lucky mother?”
Posts By Anthony Miccio
Billy Bob Thornton has signed up to play Freddy Krueger, everyone’s favorite undead teen-killer, in a remake of Nightmare On Elm Street. The new film will be produced by Transformers director Michael Bay, who also helped relaunch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday The 13th (out in February). Will this high profile horror role re-energize Thornton’s career (unlike, say, Mr. Woodcock) or keep him locked out of classier projects? Either way, it’s ironic that Billy Bob would take on Freddy’s garish make-up after putting so much effort into smoothing out his face. [Hollywood]
Donnie Darko. Zack Morris. No one at Scandalist remembers wishing these teen dreams would grow out their locks, but they’ve gone and done it anyway. Jake Gyllenhaal can at least blame his Rambosity on the video game hero he’ll be playing in Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time. Mark-Paul Gosselaar isn’t doing a Heath Ledger biopic, though – he’s just starring in a new law drama on TNT, Raising The Bar.
So what say you? Do you want to grab a handful and ride, or do you wish these Samsons would shave it off?
Paris Hilton has been sued by the makers of National Lampoon’s Pledge This, her 2006 non-hit comedy. The aggrieved claim that Hilton, despite being paid $1 million to appear in the film, did not sufficiently promote it. So why are they only suing for $70,000? You’d probably spend that much on the lawyers!
Though Howard Stern and fiancee Beth Ostrosky still plan to be married by Mark Consuelos in October (Mr. Kelly Ripa is an ordained minister, it seems!), Ostrosky has confirmed to Fox 411 that they’ll be holding a civil ceremony in the Hamptons this weekend. Congratulations, you crazy kids! [Fox 411]
Look here, you weasels. George Clooney is not the kind of person who goes around texting other people’s husbands. Especially if they’re running for president. Barack Obama is just a friend. If that.
The Hollywood heartthrob, who is hosting a fundraiser for Obama’s campaign in Switzerland this September, is pissed about claims that he “frequently text messages the Illinois senator with whom he’s been friends for many years.” Like Scarlett Johansson, he’s deeply offended by the implications. Said Clooney in a statement, “I have never texted or emailed Senator Obama. And I’ll offer a million dollars to anyone who could prove otherwise. In fact, I’ve only talked to the Senator once in the last year and a half….on the phone.” To tell him you’re keeping the baby – right, George? Check out some steamy pics of their 2006 rendezvous at the National Press Club. [E! Online]
[Photo: Getty Images]
Holy Batdance! The Dark Knight returns! Adam West, TV’s Batman, may celebrate his 80th(!) birthday this September by competing on Dancing With The Stars. You might think that West is a little old to be battling against such rumored opponents as Dan Marino (as The Dolphin) and Kim Kardashian (as Asswoman), but fans of the popular ’60s TV show know better than to question his physical grace. Does anyone remember the Batusi?
It seems like an ingenious plan: enter a porn shop, flash a badge and tell the clerk you’re a police officer from the “Age Verification Unit.” Then demand some free porn so you can make sure the actors are of age (never mind how). It just might be crazy enough to work…or not. Actual police officers are looking for a man who unsuccessfully tried to pull this off at a novelty store in Longmont, Colorado three times before the manager called the police. Maybe he’ll have better luck with the Breast Inspection Unit. [Denver Post]
[Photo: Longmont Police Department]
Remember the 9-year-old girl that sang “Ode To The Motherland” before the CGI fireworks at the Olympic opening ceremonies last Friday? Lin Miaoke, China’s “Smiling Angel,” was actually lip syncing. The real singer, Yang Peiyi, 7, was pulled from broadcast when Chinese officials complained about her crooked teeth at a rehearsal. In order to keep this ruse from as many Chinese citizens as possible, the country’s propaganda ministry has been removing video clips and forum posts discussing the matter. “It was for the national interest,” said music director Chen Qigang. “The child on camera should be flawless in image, internal feelings and expression.” At least they didn’t blame acid reflux. [LA Times]
The Spanish Olympic committee so didn’t need this. Spanish sports fans have come under fire in recent years for the incessant “monkey chants” hurled at black soccer players, and British Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton even had to deal with taunts from race attendees in blackface earlier this year. Now the country’s men’s basketball team—including LA Laker Pau Gasol—has paid questionable tribute to the Beijing Olympics in this photo, taken from an ad for SEUR, a Spanish courier company (the women’s team got in on it too). If Spain seriously hopes to host the Olympics in eight to twelve years, they might want to sponsor some sensitivity classes and crack down on this bullshit. [Guardian via Gawker]