Your average rapper may look down on notorious boy band manager/current jailbird Lou Pearlman for reporting conversations between fellow inmates—not to mention allegedly molesting boys both Backstreet and not. But try and put yourself in Pearlman’s sweaty shoes. Can you imagine facing a 25 year sentence for defrauding investors of $300 million? Can you imagine potentially owing an extra $400 million in damages? Can you imagine having managed Aaron Carter? The man Justin Timberlake once called a “monetary rapist” clearly wants to get this jail time over with so he find a way to earn back (or avoid paying) that half-billion or so, and if he has to rat out a cellmate or two to hurry things up, it’s worth risking some Oz-style payback.
Posts By Anthony Miccio
You know all those Williamsburg hipsters who’ve been ripping off Ashton Kutcher‘s patented “trucker hat” look for the last seven or so years? Turns out they’ve been copying Justin Timberlake! “I keep hearing Ashton Kutcher say how he was responsible for trucker caps…[William Rast co-founder] Trace [Ayala] and I were wearing them when we were seventeen,” says JT. Yes, at the same time the smiling brillo pad was singing “God Must Have Spent A Little More Time ON You” and dancing in white suits with Joey Fatone, he was setting an ironic fashion precedent backstage. Pharrell Williams and a nation of skate rats must have perused candids of N’SYNC in Bop and said “Hey! We can look cool like this guy!” Everything makes sense now.
When Diddy promised that “all of the ladies out there are going to be thanking us” after seeing Nelly‘s ad campaign for the mogul’s Sean John underwear line, one assumed the photos would, at the very least, show the “Hot In Herre” rapper in his underwear. But Nelly seems a little gunshy in the released pics, showing off the labelled elastic but leaving his cup safely hidden under baggy jeans. Unless more revealing shots await, Nelly can’t hope to compare with proud pants-dropping predecessors like David Beckham and Marky Mark. You can’t go halfway on something like underwear modeling, Nel! Own it!
The Joker’s true identity has been revealed! The mysterious villain that recently plagued Gotham City is none other than 20-year-old Spencer Taylor, who was apprehended in full regalia while attempting to steal Dark Knight posters and promotional materials from a movie theater in Three Rivers, Michigan. The diabolical villain was subdued by theater employees and handed over to local police. Hopefully the authorities, who are charging Taylor with felony larceny and malicious destruction of property, realize that keeping the criminal mastermind detained will be very, very difficult.
Famous people overdose on cosmetic surgery to appear young, young people overdose on cosmetic surgery to appear famous. With American surgeons refusing to operate on 28-year-old Sheyla Hershey’s 34FFF breasts after eight enlargements, the would-be model is off to Brazil to bump them up to GG with another 10 cubic meters of silicone – if they don’t burst first. We’ll make sure to light two candles for you, crazy.
Old people commit drunken crimes of passion too – or have we already forgotten Arrested Development‘s Lucille Bluth? Prosecutors in New Jersey are charging Marlene Mackenzie, 76, with aggravated assault and reckless manslaughter for killing her 80-year-old husband with a cocktail glass. Mackenzie had been drinking early last Thursday when she accused her husband of infidelity and beaned him with her glass. Though she called 911 after realizing he had stopped breathing, doctors failed to resuscitate the aging player. Rule one of Citizen Scandal is “would a celebrity potentially do somethng like this?” Seeing as how it requires drinking cocktails on a Thursday morning, the answer is obviously yes.