The Golden Globes is a time for Hollywood’s elite to receive accolades for their much lauded work, socialize with their beautiful kin, and get sloppy drunk. This year is sure to continue the Globes’ reputation as the party of the year as today’s best comedic duo, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, are hosting the event. NBC is broadcasting the show, which is also home to Fey’s hilarious 30 Rock and Poehler’s lovable Parks and Recreation. So that got us thinking…what if Amy’s character, newly elected City Council Woman Leslie Knope, were the awards show’s host instead? We all know Leslie is a planner, so we think she’d have a few key suggestions for Ms. Poehler. Here are our favorite ways Knope could add some Pawnee flavor to Hollywood’s biggest ripper.
Posts By Shara Morris
…And we’re back! Our favorite show, American Horror Story: Asylum went on hiatus over the holidays, leaving us twiddling our thumbs on Wednesday nights without Evan Peters on our screens. We had so many unanswered questions about Briarcliff, Bloodyface and Grace’s baby. Rest assured, our beloved horror show returned last night and progressed the plot line in multiple ways. Sister Jude undergoes electroshock therapy after being diagnosed with manic depression, Grace has Kit Walker’s baby, the Monsignor Timothy O’Hara kills Sister Mary Eunice and Dr. Arden commits suicide to reunite with Sister Mary. Some critics have referred to Ryan Murphy’s AHS as the evil twin of his other show, Glee, and we never felt that way more than after watching last night’s episode. From the dance number to the virginity-losing, Briarcliff was less like an asylum and more like the halls of McKinley High. Here are our favorite Glee-like moments from “The Name Game.”
1.The Name Game – This comparison is by far the most obvious. In the middle of the episode, Lana Winters asks Sister Jude if she knows her own name after receiving electroshock therapy. Without answering Winters, a delirious Sister Jude trudges to the new jukebox in the asylum and selects Shirley Ellis’ classic to play, “The Name Game.” When she plays the song, Sister Jude immediately transforms into a glamorous early ’60s songstress and the bleak patients of Briarcliff get their groove on. Where is Kurt to bust out a showstopper when we need him? While we know this is a dream state and American Horror Story has its absurd moments, we couldn’t help but imagine Ryan Murphy in the writer’s room suddenly deciding to insert a dance number into the episode. Even for AHS, this felt out of place.
On January 1st we can start a clean slate and draft our ever crucial new year’s resolutions. Whether or not we actually achieve those goals is another matter (we’ve yet to do 2012’s spring cleaning). Nevertheless, it’s always a fun challenge to set them for ourselves…and also for our friends in Hollywood. Just like us, our celebs could use a little goal setting for 2013. Just like your mother says, we do it because we love you. Here’s our resolutions to the stars, and -most importantly- Happy New Year!
Eva Mendes and Ryan Gosling – We know one of Hollywood’s hottest couples is costarring in The Place Beyond the Pines in 2013 together. However, after watching the two show their comedy chops in the latest Drunk History clips, we cannot wait to see more of these two collaborate. We know the duo has some off screen chemistry, and the silver screen may not even be able to handle the hotness between them. We have a proposition for these two for 2013: more projects together, please!
It’s New Year’s Eve — time to get out the bubbly, steal a midnight kiss, watch the ball drop in Times Square, and hope the pressure doesn’t build too much to have the most epic night ever. Maybe instead you want to leave the partying to the amateurs and spend the night in with one of these great (and terrible) movies about what can be the best or worst night of the year. From all time classics like The Apartment to not so great movies like New Year’s Eve, here are five flicks to get you through to 2013.
When Harry Met Sally – It’s the rom-com that begot all rom-coms of our time, this Rob Reiner classic is filed with so many one liners and memorable moments, I find myself reenacting this scene every time I’m at Katz’s Deli in New York. But seriously, Mindy Kaling isn’t the only one who was fed on Nora Ephron films. Of course, the final New Year’s Eve scene is the climactic moment when Harry furiously runs through the abandoned streets of New York as “It Had to Be You” plays in the background has set the standard for every romantic scene in every movie we’ve seen since then.
The Poseidon Adventure – The classic action film starring a very young Gene Hackman follows the passengers of the SS Poseidon after their ship has been overturned from a massive tsunami. As the clock strikes midnight, guests are drinking, dancing and celebrating the New Year as usual. The next moment, their lives are literally turned upside down, as the guests try to find a way safely out of the capsized ship. Now that’s a way to start the new year!
200 Cigarettes – Even though this film takes place in 1981 in New York City, 200 Cigarettes could not seem more like a ’90s Gen X film. Courtney Love? Check. Janeane Garofalo? Check. Cynicism? Check. Kevin, played by the never-aging Paul Rudd, laments how New Year’s Eve creates “an obligation to enjoy oneself.” We have to admit, this is pretty true. As much as we are excited about 2013, there is always pressure to make the night of the most memorable event as possible. But if Paul Rudd were at our party, we would not be complaining.
Celebrities — they’re just like us, right? By which we mean, our stars arrive as a mixed bag: We have our American sweethearts, the class clowns and, of course, the bad seeds. Even if it’s normal for a former Disney teenage star to flash her crotch in public these days, Santa does not approve. And yet other A-listers used their stardom in 2012 to rise above the fray, display their philanthropic ways, and prove there are menches in Hollywood. Their hard work does not go unnoticed, and we know those little elves (a.k.a., their agents) are stuffing some A-list gifts in their stockings. Because we all know that Justin Bieber really needs another hoodie. And maybe we need the Lindsay Lohans out there to make us appreciate the Matt Damons even more. Here we’ve broken down our list of our naughty n’ nice celebrities of 2012.
1. Chris Brown – I don’t even know where to begin with this one. Brown brawled with Drake in a club, rekindled a romance with the woman he abused and tattooed an image of a battered woman on his neck. Ah, Chris Brown. You never fail to prove you are the biggest douchebag there ever was. Not only will Santa be skipping your house this year, but I can assure you, Dancer, Prancer, and Rudolph will send you a stocking filled with their droppings.
2. Amanda Bynes – The former child star who rose to fame with All That and The Amanda Show is now giving audiences a different kind of Amanda show — one filled with hit and runs and DUIs. Santa may not think you’re all that this year, but hopefully you can take that as a sign to get it together for 2013. Put down the booze, get some help, and nab a supporting role in an indie comedy to reboot your career. Or, if you’re really retiring from acting, take a break from making headlines too. We’re rooting for you, Amanda.
3. Nicki Minaj – Nicki needs to learn to respect her elders … and the divas around town. She and Mariah Carey have been at it since auditions of American Idol this year, and we’re placing blame on the rap star who allegedly threatened to “shoot” Mariah in an argument. There’s no need for that kind of drama in the search for America’s next pop star, is there? Coal for you, Ms. Minaj.
In recent years, it was easy to forget that before he was a rom-com staple in films like How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and The Wedding Planner, Matthew McConaughey broke into the industry in a little independent film, with his scene stealing performance as the slimy David Wooderson in Richard Linklater’s 1993 cult classic, Dazed and Confused. But this year, McConaughey returned to those indie roots. The hunky Texas native proved that he was more than just hot arm candy next to the Jennifers and Kates out there by choosing smaller films with accredited directors who stretched him as an actor. And the work paid off. He gave hilarious and nuanced performances in films like Bernie and this summer’s sexy success Magic Mike that gave him the acting cred we always knew he deserved. It doesn’t hurt either that McConaughey married his longtime girlfriend Brazilian bombshell Camila Alves at his Austin home. It all helped us see past those blindingly beautiful abs of his.
Dominating Moment: It’s safe to say that this was his performance in the surprisingly dark Magic Mike. He stole the show as Xquisite strip club owner Dallas, who had us at his gyrations in those leather chaps. We love how the notoriously shirtless actor winked at the audience with this bare-chested role and even nodded to his 1999 arrest as he played the bongos during the Tarzan striptease scene. By showing us that he’s in on the joke, the actor exuded self-effacing charm, even while betraying Channing Tatum’s Mike.
Dominating on Twitter: McConaughey isn’t necessarily known for his Twitter presence, but his 282,259 followers would probably say otherwise. The actor utilizes the site to promote his catchphrase-powered philanthropic endeavor the Just Keep Livin Foundation, promote his movies and show his Longhorn pride.
Best Appearances: McConaughey did his fair share of press promoting a record number of films this year in addition to Magic Mike (Killer Joe, The Paperboy, and Bernie to name a few) from The Daily Show to The Tonight Show. In June, he and Camila graced the cover of People, sharing photos of their laid back Austin wedding weekend. But we have to say, his scooter cooler race against Jimmy Fallon was pretty epic and is now our new favorite backyard barbecue activity. It just goes to show you can take the man out of Texas, but you can’t take the Texas out of the man.
What We Expect From Him in 2013: McConaughey already has several projects lined up for him that will continue to push him into a serious A-list actor territory. His role in Dallas Buyers Club already has people talking about his extreme weight-loss to play a man with HIV in the ’80s. We hope this is JUST for the movie and he’ll go back to his healthy six-pack ways! He’ll also be costarring with Leonard DiCaprio and Jonah Hill in The Wolf of Wall Street and is teaming up with friend Woody Harrelson for TV series True Detectives. We’ve loved seeing more of you, Mr. McConaughey, and can’t wait to see you continue to surprise us.
[Photos: Warner Bros., LD Entertainment, Splash News Online]
American Horror Story: Asylum has portrayed it all — from murders to amputations, Ryan Murphy leaves nothing to the imagination. Still, we are used to many of these graphic scenes just from visiting our local movie theater during Halloween season. As gruesome as it is, we are accustomed to the blood spewing, the white-tiled basement filled with murderous tools, and the exorcisms. We love Murphy’s wink to the horror genre and his dramatic flair, but this week’s episode seemed more disturbing than the usual stabbing. Lana Winters finds out she’s pregnant with Dr. Thredson’s baby and is determined to have an abortion — hence the title of the episode “The Coat Hanger.” The titular scene was probably one of the most disturbing things I’ve seen on this show so far. Now that they’ve depicted such a thing, what else can really be portrayed? Have we overcome the shock factor? Where do we go from here? Here is my list of questions from this week’s episode and what’s next for the rest of the season. Let me know if you have any answers, readers. We’re looking at you too, Ryan!
1. Did Dr. Arden take Kit Walker’s tape of Thredson admitting his crimes? Can Kit trust him now that they have this new alliance?
2. Is Grace having Kit Walker’s baby? Do you think she’s even carrying a baby?
3. Is Grace still alive or just a figment of Dr. Arden’s imagination? Did the aliens bring her back to life? What should we make of her?
Some call 2012 the year the world will end (we’re looking at all of you Mayans out there). Others will remember it as the year they spent in a fog of Carly Rae Jepsen‘s “Call Me Maybe.” But who does 2012 really belong to? The CIA. Yes, you heard me. The agency that President Truman created has been taking 2012 by storm. We break down why your favorite intelligence agency dominated the news and pop culture.
1.Homeland – Never mind any real-life accomplishments the agency made this year. By sweeping the Emmy Awards with six wins and much critical acclaim, Homeland certainly helped make the CIA relevant again. As we left the Bush era’s torture wielding Jack Bauer and entered an Obama White House, we needed a new kick-ass hero to dominate our sets. Our protagonist came in the form of the ever complex Carrie Mathinson (Claire Danes) whose keen intelligence and questionable judgment calls make her one of the most compelling characters on television right now. And despite the occasional face-off with most wanted terrorist Abu Nazir, working with top notch intelligence officials seems even enjoyable for Carrie. I mean, where else can you have Mandy Patinkin as your mentor while simultaneously having an affair with a turned P.O.W.-turned U.S. Congressman? Only at the CIA.
2. Argo – In addition to the small screen, the CIA dominated the silver screen this year too. Directed by and starring Ben Affleck, the film is based on the declassified documents of the 1979 Iran hostage crisis that kept the country on the edge during the Carter administration. The movie’s receiving much Oscar buzz for its script and hilarious supporting performances by the epic Alan Arkin and John Goodman. (We’re still telling everyone, “Argo f— yourself.”) But what made this movie so great was the extraordinary true story that the CIA saved six U.S. hostages by pretending to be a Canadian film crew scouting movie sets in Tehran. This is the kind of story you wished happened in the CIA, but never expected would actually exist. Argo fulfilled our dreams of what it would be like to be real spies. Let the role-playing begin.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Well, not so much at Briarcliff, but Dr. Arden, Sister Mary Eunice and Sister Jude bring their own twisted holiday cheer to the asylum this year. Instead of a jolly ole St. Nick distributing gifts to the patients, a fabulous Ian McShane portrays a deranged bad Santa named Mr. Lee Emerson, who makes Billy Bob Thorton look like your sweet Aunt Mildred. A flashback shows Emerson, dressed as Santa, slithering from house to house killing families on Christmas Eve. Now at Briarcliff, the serial killer finds his other half in Sister Mary Eunice to create the darkest duo of all. McShane is certainly our favorite part of the episode as the larger than life killer, and he relishes every facet of his evil role. Really it’s all we wanted for Christmas. As Mr. Emerson says himself, “It’s all about the list,” so we broke down a list of some of the most memorable quotes of the evening. Happy holidays!
1. “You know the difference between that Santa Clause and me? He only comes once a year.” — A sexually charged Mr. Emerson to his victims
2. “But then you got out and you found this suit, and it gave you everything you were missing. You had the power, Lee. You can have it again. Who do you want to be? The victim? Or the victor?” – Sister Mary Eunice shows Mr. Emerson a Santa suit, and gives him the opportunity to join her in her bloodthirsty plans. Who knew a Santa suit could imbue so much power?
Last night’s episode of American Horror Story: Asylum was rather hauntingly beautiful. Many of the characters reached their threshold and decided their only escape from their harrowing fates is death. The woman who will take them to the next life is Angel of Death, played by the wonderful Francis Conroy. By the way, did anyone think she looked like a gracefully aged Dita Von Teese here? As the Angel, she arrived at her summoners’ side, cloaked in black, releases her black, outstretched, raven wings, kissed them and sent them off into the hereafter. Her interactions with these AHS characters were our favorite parts of this episode, so here are the Dark Angel’s three best moments:
1. The Devil and the Angel Face Off: One of the best moments of the episode was when Sister Mary/devil incarnate and the Angel of Death faced off. The two crossed paths after Miles’ death and circled each other like hawks over his dead body. The Angel knew that Sister Mary is “a nun perhaps, but not so simple. Something else resides in you, one like me, but fallen.” Though the devil and angel duality is cliched, these two actresses add freshness to the age-old conflict that made us want to see a clash between good versus evil again. We want a Conroy and Rabe rematch!
2. The Angel of Death and Lana Winters: Winters has had it rough throughout AHS, to say the least. Sister Jude subjected her to Briarcliff due to her sexual preferences, Bloodyface killed the love of her life, Wendy, and when Winters thought she’d escaped the horror that is Briarcliff, she found herself in Dr. Thredson’s cavernous basement, or shall we say, Bloodyface’s torture chamber. Winters wanted out, and the Angel of Death heard her prayers. “I don’t think I can do this anymore,” she whispered, as the Angel stroked her face. Before the spirit took her to the afterlife, Winters intercepted and realized her time isn’t now. Obviously, the writers can’t kill Winters yet. She’s not only a main character, but certainly one of the most redeeming ones. This journalist still has her story to crack, and we hope she can see the day when her Briarcliff scoop will make headlines.
3. The Nun and the Angel: Sister Jude’s trajectory throughout the season has been one of a fallen soul herself. Despite being an awful person (okay, we know that’s a big one), she still represented a strong woman as the head of Briarcliff, in charge of her own destiny. In an age when women were only beginning to receive recognition in the workplace, Sister Jude was the one ordering the men around. However, since leaving Briarcliff, Sister Jude has unraveled with no will to live. After imagining her own death, the Angel paid her a visit in a restaurant booth. Apparently, this isn’t the first time Sister Jude has wanted to die, but, the Angel noted, “Your song was different this time.” Sister Jude said she was ready, but needed to do one last thing before the Angel took her away. She visited the home of Missy — the girl she killed in the hit-and-run to transgress her sins. As she was about to admit to the murder to the girl’s family, in walked Missy herself, alive and well. Since she knows she didn’t kill the little Missy now, we hope Sister Jude will skip death, regain enough strength to return to Briarcliff and take a vengeance on Dr. Arden, now that she knows he is a former Nazi officer.