Question: How Many BET Awards Will Chris Brown Win?
Body Text: We all remember Chris Brown crying us a river on the 2010 BET Awards, his first major TV appearance since he had attacked Rihanna. Back then, Breezy was toxic. No one would go near him, except for Bow Wow. Now he’s collaborating with the likes of Lil Wayne and squeaky-clean Justin Bieber — and chicks are accidentally slipping and falling on his d*ck (“Look At Me Now”). And this year, Chris is up for four BET Awards — Viewer’s Choice, Best Male R&B Artist, Video of the Year and Best Actor (Takers). How many will he win? The show airs Sunday at 8/7c.
Question: Which Idol Ain’t Gonna Be Smilin’ Come Wednesday?
Body Text: My odds have been way off on every single American Idol bet. How was I to know that season 10 would be watched by only country-loving folk wearing cowboy boots and daisy dukes or Wrangler jeans and bull horn belt buckles? This is the only possible explanation for why the contestants have been whittled down to two twang-y teens. This week’s question: Which contestant will NOT be crowned Idol? I think bass-voiced Scotty McCreery, whose golly gee wilikers image has Heartland grandmas on lockdown, is going to edge out Lauren Alaina for the grand prize before his fame fades into the sunset. So, odds are 20/1 that Alaina’s the loser even though she may have more staying power in the long run.
Question: Who’s Next To Go On American Idol?
Body Text: It’s that time again! Time for us to place bets on which American Idol contestant will get thrown out like a stale piece of trash, exiled from his or her 15 minutes of fame, and cast into some realm that is lowlier than a one-hit wonder, since none of these singers ever had a hit to begin with. Unless, of course, we’re talking about the invincible Scotty “Golly Gee” McGreevy, who will probably be selling out the country music stadium circuit until he’s 100 years old. Since I clearly do not understand America’s taste, take no stock in the odds below.
Question: Which Idol Will America Cut Next?
Body Text: The last time I created a bet for American Idol, when there were seven contestants, I gave Haley “The Fake Growler” Reinhart 2/1 odds of getting the boot. America, you made a fool of me. Now, with only four contestants remaining and Lady Gaga mentoring this week, I’m guessing Haley and James “The Straight Adam Lambert” Durbin will be the safest as they have more of an edge than Scotty McCreery or Lauren Alaina. Prove me wrong – again!
Question: Who’s The Celeb That Has The Best Ever Cinco De Mayo Spirit?
Body Text: Never has there been a more awesome photo of a major star celebrating Cinco de Mayo. First, he/she is wearing the funnest and most festive hat on earth. It is a Corona Light Sombrero. Repeat: CORONA. LIGHT. SOMBRERO. (Side note: Michelle Collins is out buying each BWE.tv staff member one of these babies right now! Stay tuned for pics!) In addition to the fabulous hat, you’ll notice this celebrity appears to have a second margarita on standby. Take notes, people. This is how Cinco de Mayo is done when it is done right. The answer to this bet will be revealed Tuesday. All wagers are set to the same odds for this edition of Vegas Odds, since I already know the answer.
Question: What Will Chris Brown Do On His B-day?
Body Text: Last year, Chris Brown couldn’t find a venue to host his birthday bash. But nobody puts Breezy in a corner! This man has tiger blood, not just blood on his hands. (Okay, we’ll quit beating a dead horse.) Chris not only has a new lady (Karrueche Tran, pictured) but he also just wrapped a new tour supporting his relatively new album, F.A.M.E. And for his 22nd, Chris is hosting a bash on Saturday at PURE nightclub in Las Vegas. We’re sure there will be plenty of shots — and maybe some chair throwing. But his actual birthday is this Thursday on Cinco de Mayo. How will he spend the night?
Question: What Will Adam Lambert First Tweet About On Tuesday?
Body Text: Adam Lambert fans don’t play. We all know that. The bond between Glamberts and Adam is as strong as the bond between newborn kittens suckling on their mother’s teats.
They have a spiritual connection. They know what makes the man tick, what inspires him, and, most importantly for this bet, what he tweets about. But can anyone guess what Adam will first tweet about on Tuesday, May 3? Because this is the very difficult task at hand. One major stipulation: If it’s a reply or retweet it will count as such, regardless of whether the reply or retweet is about another category. Good luck, friends!
Question: Will Kate Cry At The Royal Wedding?
Body Text: Bet-happy England is wagering on every minute detail of Prince Will and Kate Middleton’s royal wedding, from what shade of white her dress will be (nothing says “royal” like ivory) to where the newlyweds will honeymoon. People would probably bet on how many Royal Bowel Movements the couple would produce on the day of the wedding if only it could be confirmed. One of the oddest bets: Will Kate Middleton cry? The odds are only 5/2 at the time of this writing. Wait, whaaaa? Come on. Put yourself in Kate’s shoes. You are born to parents who are flight attendants. You study art history in college, where you have a love affair with Prince William, which is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened to your boring middle class self. You break up once but reunite. Now you are about to be worth one gazillion dollars (literally) and called Her Royal Highness for the rest of your pampered life. Do you cry? Just a little?
Question: How Much Is An RPattz Sex Scene Worth?
Body Text: Today’s bet: How many millions will Water For Elephants earn at the box office? Well, we know sex sells, right? Especially if that sex involves thick-browed Robert Pattinson — not to mention Reese “F*ck me, Mr. McAllister” Witherspoon.
But there’s a number of factors to consider. In fact, this sh*t is downright complicated. First, the movie is not getting great reviews.
It has a lousy 48% on the Tomatometer. Then again, bad reviews haven’t put a dent in Twilight‘s box office success. You see, movie critics just don’t understand the power of RPattz’s seductive eyes.
Or how much joy a glimpse of his tousled hair brings to teens and
menopausal women alike. Which brings us back to sex, sex, sex, albeit sex without any chemistry. This circus drama’s only real box office competition will be either rated G (African Cats and Rio, which came out last week) or PG-13 (Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family). So unless there’s
a perverse contingent of movie-goers who are sexually attracted to Madea or lions,
Water For Elephants has no competition in the sex department.
Cutie-pie Arizona Sherriff Joe Arpaio may be the subject of an FBI investigation for civil rights violations and abuse of power. But it hasn’t curbed his fun side! Remember, he’s the marketing genius behind forcing inmates to wear pink underwear. Now “America’s Toughest Sheriff” has turned the Official Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office website into a game that will provide kicks for the whole family. Vote for your fave mugshot based on… what? Dumbest looking? Most F’d up? Poorest?
And having fun with prisoners does not have to stop there. Enter PrisonPenPals.com! (See widget above). Ladies, featured are some real hunks who’ve been working out in the prison yard on the daily. You can take your time getting to know these prisoners by exchanging letters — for five or 10 years. Once paroled, instant hubbies!
Now, let’s brainstorm more ways to have fun with inmates! Mugshots Of The Day are below …