Posts By Ambika Muttoo

by (@missmuttoo)

Gisele Bundchen Admits She Made A Boob Of Herself

They’re nothing like seeing a 6 foot gazelle, aka, Gisele Bundchen, backpedal ungainly. The supermodel shot her mouth off in an interview with Harpers Bazaar, specifically on the topic of breastfeeding. Because she gave birth to her baby in a bath tub, Gisele is now the spokesmommy for all topics related to baby goodness.

Ms Bundchen stated her opinion to the mag: “Some people here (in the US) think they don’t have to breastfeed, and I think ‘Are you going to give chemical food to your child when they are so little?’ I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.”

Uh. We don’t need to say anything here. Because the response has been, how should we say this politely? Scathing. And it’s messing with her zen ’cause, y’know, Gisele likes to meditate.

Hence, Backtrack Bundchen took to her blog to give out this message of peace, love and dont-hate-me! Her blog has a nice big picture of her meditating, too. (Try not to zzzz):

My intention in making a comment about the importance of breastfeeding has nothing to do with the law. It comes from my passion and beliefs about children. Becoming a new mom has brought a lot of questions, I feel like I am in a constant search for answers on what might be the best for my child. It’s unfortunate that in an interview sometimes things can seem so black and white. I am sure if I would just be sitting talking about my experiences with other mothers, we would just be sharing opinions. I understand that everyone has their own experience and opinions and I am not here to judge. I believe that bringing a life into this world is the single most important thing a person can undertake and it can also be the most challenging. I think as mothers we are all just trying our best.

Lovvveeee meeeeeeee!

Okay, so that last bit was ours.

by (@missmuttoo)

Miley Cyrus Parties In The U.S.A

savemileymain

Hi, Miley Cyrus.

We’re writing this note with all sincerity.  Please do not turn into jailbait. We’ve been watching you writhing on Adam Shankman‘s lap. We’ve tut-tutted at your on-stage make-out seshs. We’ve debated your very questionable wardrobe choices. But we like you, Miley. You just can’t be tamed, and we admire that.

But there comes a time when all the good-natured jokes at your expense become tired. Scratch that – exhausted. So give us a break and try and remember you’re 17 years old. Because when Miley Cyrus hits up a bar with Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, the world’s going to find out. And then we’re going to have to start all over again. You should know that a certain AbigailMSU busted you and tweeted, “I’m off to bed right now but just wanted to let you know Miley, Demi, and Ashton are at Mars Bar in Hamtramck as I type this.”  And she has since been all atwitter about your bar-crawl shenanigans. She will hunt you down.

You should also know that bars are for people 4 years older than you, whether you’d like to believe it or not. Just 4 years, Miley! That’s not long to wait! We’re also loving this new LOL movie you’re doing with Dashton and Ashley Greene, but you can’t tell the world that you were shooting a scene at that bar. Because that is a lie, and people will find out…again. Your own production company ratted you out on that one, stating, “We haven’t filmed there. That is not a location for the film.”

So for future reference, spare us?

Our best,
The fully legal FabLife team

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Kanye West Follows A Random Dude On Twitter And Makes His Life Hell

Stop trying to  get in touch with Steven Holmes, okay? He’s going off the grid,  tweeting, “I won’t be speaking to anybody else, surprisingly not everyone wants to be famous. That’s all I’m saying – peace out x.” Do not pester him for anymore interviews either, because his Twitter announced with great finality, “Just to clarify, I mean I won’t be speaking to any more press/journalists.” We’re hurt, but point taken.

Who the f**k is Steven Holmes and why’s he throwing such major ‘tude?

Steven Holmes was your average, everyday lad from Coventry, England. He woke up one day and found out that Kanye West was on Twitter. “Blimey, right on!” he thought, and added himself to ‘Nye’s many thousand followers.

And that’s when West bestowed the greatest gift and the biggest curse alike on his Holm-ie. He followed him right back.

Random dude from Queen Lizzie’s land is the only person Kanye West follows on his Twitter, which apparently ruined his life (well, at least his cyber life). Holmes became the target of so much instant attention, that the wee bloke wailed to the Coventry Telegraph, “I was like, ‘Oh my God!’ but about 20 seconds later I had 20 messages from people I didn’t even know and my phone wouldn’t stop bleeping.” He’s had to duck out of Twitter, and has even deleted the app on his iPhone because the whole world and its grandma wants a piece of him.

Here’s a hash tag just for Kanye: #RandomlyMadeSomeoneMiserableTodayYay.

by (@missmuttoo)

Ice-T Turns To Ice Cold Vengeance After His Arrest

icetrevengemain

Post arrest, Ice-T eloquently tweeted, “Some punk b*tch rookie cop named Fisher #10026 Made the arrest of his bullsh*t career today. Arresting the Notorious Ice T for no seatbelt.” Well, the “notorious” rapper is making sure that everybody knows messing with him means big trouble.

He’s retaliated with a lawsuit of his own against the DMV. His story is that the cop arrested him “because he could” instead of giving him a ticket, which is how it usually goes.  And he’s even madder about the claims that his license paperwork was not in order because  of “something in the computer called an insurance lapse from 2008.” Stupid computer was dead wrong, it seems.

It’s all a load of crock, apparently, and now he wants ice cold revenge. He warned, “At the end of the day, after I get this dismissed … I either can sue the DMV or the insurance company … and that’s when I have my revenge.”  Said rookie cop better be watching his back. Who knows when this vendetta will end!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Harry Potter Goes Accio On A Brunette Girl

danradmain

We dig Daniel Radcliffe. We can admit it without creeping ourselves out, now that he’s legal.  He comes across as funny and intelligent with that lovely, inherently British self-effacing streak. He even dissed Justin Bieber without making it sound like a diss.  The Chosen One can do no wrong. Point is, if we were any younger we’d totally be all, “You. Me. The Shrieking Shack?” on him. And it would be wonderful, okay?

DanRad’s decided not to wait for us though, and is stepping out with a young brunette… a lot. Apparently he even asked Ms. Mystery Girl to come celebrate his 21st birthday with him in Russia. She did and they got their vodka on in St. Petersburg. They’ve also been spotted catching a spot of cricket together and strolling out and about in West London. Three time’s a charm?

Out with it, Harry. Who is she?  And we’d suggest watching out for Ginny….she’s got fight in her.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Russell Brand Shaken Up After Crashing Lamborghini

SPL199275_001

Yikes, first Dennis Rodman got banged up while driving, and now Russell Brand. There must be some bad ju-ju in the air. Brand’s car accident went down while filming Arthur! in New York. What hurts even more is that he was in his brand new (rented) $238,000 Lamborghini Superleggera causing just under $10,000 worth of damage (and a bruised heart, of course) and some hefty installments to pay off.

Fortunately Russell wasn’t pranged up too badly himself. It’s reported that he was leaving the set and driving along in his Lambo when a truck hit him, slamming the driver’s side. He had to climb out of the passenger seat to get out. Scary!

A source confirmed, “The whole incident was pretty terrifying. Russell was very shaken. He refused to go to A&E [the emergency room] despite severe bruising on his arm and cuts. He’s gutted, as he’d only just taken loan of the car.”

Russell, we may like to show you off in your underpants… but we’re really glad you’re okay. Time for some R&R with fiance Katy Perry!

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@missmuttoo)

Linda Hogan’s Cougar Nuptials Might Be A Hoax

linda-hogan-4

Cougars work alone and tend to stalk their prey slowly and quietly. You never know when they’re going to strike but when they do… it’s all over. Remarkable similarities with Linda Hogan (umm, apart from the “quietly”). Only Linda’s marrying her 21-year-old prey, Charlie Hill. Totally against the laws of the jungle!

But since cougars play their cards very close to their (in this case, very ample) chests… you never know what they’re really up to.  Her ex-inmate son Nick Hogan has even been kept completely out of the loop. Because in this jungle, you announce your happy news to the press first, and not your family. Therefore, Nick doesn’t know of mommy dearest Linda’s wedding-across-the-ages plan.

The most clueless Hogan of them all pouted, “Nobody has actually confirmed it me.” Nick, you were at David Hasselhoff‘s roast (what?). We doubt anyone wanted to be associated with you, especially at that time.

But the point is, Linda actually hasn’t said anything about the engagement. Hulk Hogan did. And it’s unlike Linda not to blab. And Nick says he spent the day with cougar mommy and her newest cub (eww) on their yacht (hah, Alimoney) the day the news broke and as he put it, ” Nobody said anything about an engagement. There was no champagne, no party, no big happy celebration.”

So is this engagement all a load of bulls**t? It might just be, with Linda milking it for all it’s worth. Nick also stated that he called his mother to flat-out ask her about the rumors and she said, “No, they are just promise rings.”

Could it be…no trashy wedding? It does look like this might just be one giant hoax. Maybe Linda didn’t want to lose face because the Hulk got engaged first.

Hogan family. Please stay together. You’re hilarious.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

View Photo Gallery

by (@missmuttoo)

Charlie Sheen, The Luckiest “Inmate” Of Them All

charliesheenmain

Raise your hands if you had completely forgotten about this. The last we remember of Charlie Sheen is that his plea deal tanked. Then he faded into the great white for a while, only to claw back on to our radars.

Sheen is going to jail, but only, for a few seconds. That’s right. He’s now the reigning champ of bulls**t celebrity sentences beating out the likes of Lindsay LohanParis Hilton and Nicole Richie . ‘Cause that’s how it’s done, kids.

Instead of hard time behind bars, he gets to spend a month at the Promises rehabilitation center. He’ll apparently “check in” and then leave…again.  The sentence reads that his time will be “administered and executed at Promises,” which directly translates to three months of  unsupervised probation. He’s going to go straight back to Two and a Half Men and resume his life. Somebody get his lawyer Yale Galanter‘s digits, because we would like this magician’s number on our speed dial.

So, no jail. And no real rehab. Maybe this was all a dream?

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Lindsay Lohan Out Of Jail And Headed To A Treatment Center

Lindsay Lohan is out of jail and she’s headed straight for her rehabilitation treatment. Looks like the news of her being released early were correct, because she only spent 13 days behind bars as opposed to a full 90 day sentence! The L.A Sheriff’s spokesperson, Steve Whitmore, confirmed the news to the waiting press stating, “She was released at 1:35 a.m. She has been sent directly to her next destination, which is a treatment center. And she will now be under the supervision of the L.A. County probation department. This concludes her custody.”

Lindsay is allegedly headed to the UCLA Medical Center and not Morningside Recovery, as Judge Martha Revel had originally sentenced. Two court appointed psychiatrists (who were also selected by Judge Revel) had suggested four possible places for Lindsay’s treatment, and Morningside was not on that list. Lindsay needed serious psychological and substance abuse treatment, for which UCLA is better suited.

Easy now, Lindsay. You’re almost done. And remember, you’re going to have serious cash in the bank when you’re finished with all this drama. We’re guessing that makes it worth it to you!