Posts By Ambika Muttoo

by (@missmuttoo)

Katy Perry And Russell Brand Make Up Crazy Wedding Stories

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So it’s settled then? Katy Perry and Russell Brand are not married? The singer took time off from sounding off on Miley Cyrus‘ fashion choices (really, Katy, really?) to talk about her number one soundbite… her fiance. She did save Russell from various addictions (at the same time, encouraging his love for blowjobs), so she’s totally entitled to it, of course.

Apparently they’re not getting married in India, which is where Brand popped the question. Sources told Page Six that Katy and Russell are getting married in October in Maui. They claim that they’ve been talking crazy to throw people off their scent, so they’ve been making up stories about their wedding.

She revealed, “Russell makes up these really crazy stories about me and our wedding. I make up stories, too – I said he was a ‘groomzilla’. He said I farted a lot, but I’ve never farted in front of him – honestly! I hear these crazy stories – we are going to get married in latex, underwear, in Spandex, in Japan, in India, in Thailand. But I think all this craziness about my marriage is really funny.”

Sure, nice cover-up about the flatulence. She added, “And I don’t set the record straight as I love this chaotic circus of wrong information, because it is not really anyone else’s business beside the people that we have invited and us, of course.” That’s why speaking about your crazy wedding stories is your favorite pastime. That’s why you told the world that you’d like Rihanna to strip at the bachelorette. We have a suggestion then. Stop talking… at all.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@missmuttoo)

Carrie Underwood Does Not Want You At Her Wedding

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They’re all set! Carrie Underwood had her bachelorette while fiance Mike Fisher took it up a notch with a crazy bachelor bash. D-Day is tomorrow but they’ve gone totally secret service on everyone, including the guests! The couple refuse to reveal the location of the wedding. Mysterious!

Their guests are supposed to show up at an airport in a southern city – no one knows which one, yet – where they’ll be taken to the wedding in either a private jet or limos. Seriously? Do people really care that much of Carrie Underwood? A source commented, “Carrie wants to keep the wedding small and secret.”

Underwood’s also being business savvy about the nuptials. It’s been said that she originally wanted up to $2 million for the photo rights for the wedding. Now, the buzz is that she’s brokered a deal with a weekly magazine, but we don’t know which one.Smart cookie, Carrie. Create enough buzz and then… ka-ching! It really is the happiest day of your life!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@missmuttoo)

Vacay Edition Part Deux: Ryan Seacrest And Julianne Hough

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Ohhhh. It’s just like we said before! Sneaky sneaky Ryan Seacrest! He and Julianne Hough have snuck in a couple of dates in the past, but they’ve now been busted. They’ve been seen kissing up a storm on the high seas on Ryan’s yacht (he has a yacht?) in Portofino, Italy. Sources say Hough greeted him by wrapping her dancer legs around Seacrest, and they’re now believed to be setting sail for Monaco. No confirmations from any rep’s just yet.

Let’s hope this holiday goes off a lot better than her brother Derek Hough‘s with Cheryl Tweedy nee Cole. Because she came back with malaria. Not a good impression at all.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Vacation Edition: Kate Hudson And Matt Bellamy Are Getting Serious

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This whole romance deal between Kate Hudson and Muse frontman Matt Bellamy is so on.He confirmed the relationship to the Daily Mirror saying, “Things are going great at the moment. I am very happy. We had such a good time at Glastonbury. We just have fun together and are seeing how it goes.Kate is great. We have tried to keep things private so we haven’t told anyone how we met or any details like that. We are just doing our thing.” The rocker also revealed that he was going to meet Hudson’s famous mom Goldie Hawn very soon, “I haven’t met Goldie yet. We are meeting up next week. I’m quite nervous. You don’t want her reading daft stories about you online – it’s embarrassing when you meet someone’s family for the first time.”

And even though he’s trying to keep things on the down-low, his comments do reveal that things might be more serious than folks reckoned saying, “It’s a little bit too soon to talk about weddings and stuff. Ask me again in a few months, though. I’ll let you know how it went with Goldie – and then who knows?’ He’s flown off to Greece to join K.Hud and her family, who is so into Bellamy that she even invited the entire band along for the ride. A source says, “Kate is really happy with Matt. Their relationship seems really natural and relaxed. It’s a whole different ballgame than her relationship with Alex Rodriguez, who seemed to be more focused on himself.”  Rock on, you two!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

The World’s Tackiest Manicure May Land Lindsay With More Jail Time

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That Lindsay Lohan is going to jail is no secret anymore, nor is that extremely stupid message Lindsay had on her fingernails. But now she might get f***ed over thanks to the ‘f**k u’ she had displayed. Experts says that could mean more jail time for Ms. Lohan, even though the sentence (90 days in the slammer, 90 days inpatient rehab stint) was triple the amount the prosecution asked for.

New York City Public Defender Stacy Schneider says, ”it would be a separate charge for contempt. She could have an entire extra sentence heaped on top of her current one. If the judge were angry enough, it could run even consecutively.” The Los Angeles Public Defender Greg Apt agreed saying, “The judge could hold her in direct contempt, which could be between three to five days in jail for vulgarity.” That is, if it was ruled that her obscenity was aimed at the courts.

Li.Lo has been backtracking ever since saying it wasn’t directed to Judge Marsha Revel and that the manicure was just a joke. She tweeted to a friend, ”Didn’t we do our nails as a joke with our friend? It had nothing to do w/court.. it’s an airbrush design from a stencil.”  Well then Lindsay might not want to read this. TMZ says that Lohan went crazy after the sentencing calling Judge Revel “a f***ing b***h.” So much for the “ ”I don’t want you to think that I don’t respect you” that tearfully came out in court. And since Judge Revel reads TMZ, it’s time to say oh f**k all over again.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Lindsay’s Obscene Manicure Could Get Her Into Even More Trouble

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That Lindsay Lohan is going to jail is no secret anymore. Nor is that extremely stupid message she had on her manicure. But now she might get f***ed over thanks to the ‘f**k u’ she had displayed. Experts says that could mean more jail time even though the sentence (90 days in the slammer, 90 days inpatient rehab stint) was triple the amount the prosecution asked for.

New York City Public Defender Stacy Schneider says, ”it would be a separate charge for contempt. She could have an entire extra sentence heaped on top of her current one. If the judge were angry enough, it could run even consecutively.” The Los Angeles Public Defender Greg Apt agreed saying, “The judge could hold her in direct contempt, which could be between three to five days in jail for vulgarity.” That is, if it was ruled that her obscenity was aimed at the courts.

Li.Lo has been backtracking ever since saying it wasn’t directed to Judge Marsha Revel, and that the manicure was just a joke. She tweeted to a friend, ”Didn’t we do our nails as a joke with our friend? It had nothing to do w/court.. it’s an airbrush design from a stencil.”  Well then Lindsay might not want to read this. TMZ says that Lindz went bats**t crazy after the sentencing calling Judge Revel “a f***ing b***h”. So much for the “ ”I don’t want you to think that I don’t respect you” that tearfully came out in court. And since Revel reads TMZ, it’s time to say oh f**k all over again.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Ronaldo’s Girlfriend’s Facebook Account Hacked

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Cristiano Ronaldo and his girlfriend Irina Shayk (we choose to ignore her) have been busy sunning themselves by NYC pools. But while they were working on their tans, her Facebook account was getting hacked. And as an cyberspace addicted young ‘un would be, she was shattered at the results. More so, than when she heard that boyfriend Ronaldo was going to be a Dad.

The Russian model was with Ronaldo and family at the Standard Grill (they headed to the Boom Boom Room later) when she heard the news. The cyber villians left a message on her FB page saying, “I am so devastated, I am at home crying right now,” referencing the surrogate babymomma news. She’s since closed her Twitter account and wiped her fan page and her rep has stated, “Any statements allegedly made by Ms. Shayk. She has not and will not in the future comment on such matters.”

Now… back to the serious activity of staring at his bronze, Gucci’d butt.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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by (@missmuttoo)

Hayden Christensen Takes On A TV Network With The Force

Hayden Christensen will not fade into obscurity even though he’s stopped doing movies. He recently popped onto our radar when he and cutie Rachel Bilson ended their engagement. Now he’s back again alongside his older brother suing the USA Network because they apparently plagiarized the brothers idea for a TV show.

The brothers Christensen claim they approached the channel (they’re an NBC subsidiary) in 2005 with the idea for Housecall which which going to be a comedic drama about a concierge doctor making house calls to the jet set. And Voila! USA Network has a show, now in its second season, called Royal Pains. Guess what it’s about? Yup – it’s a comedic drama about a concierge doctor making house calls to the jet set.

The brothers are crying “Rip off!” and have filed suit in Manhattan federal court. Naturally, no comment whatsoever from the network. Now a lot of people may think the siblings don’t stand a chance because of the whole ‘two little people [does Hayden count as a star, still?] versus a network’ odds, but consider Christensen/Darth Vader’s nemesis Yoda’s words: “Size matters not … Look at me. Judge me by size, do you?”

[Photo: Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Kendra Wilkinson Was Once A Coked-Out Teen Stripper

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The TMI train just doesn’t stop chugging with Kendra Wilkinson, especially now that Kendra’s book “Sliding Into Home” is out. We already revealed the horror of her first time having sex with Hugh Hefner, and yes – her words made our eyes and ears bleed.

But was that sex talk enough? Nooooo. Where there’s a book there’s publicity, and where there’s publicity there’s Kendra on the Today show telling us things that make us want to withdraw, shaking, into a shell. The book details the Playmate’s struggle with drug abuse that began when she was just 13 years old(!), as well as her previous employment grinding stripper poles. “I always knew that was wrong. I kind of lost myself for a little bit. I was a very good person doing it, but I was kind of still embarrassed about it. It wasn’t me.”

Kendra also reveals she had suicidal tendencies at 15 years old, which involved cutting herself. She even checked herself into a mental hospital, saying, “I had so much pain that I just wanted to die. It wasn’t that I was trying to die, it was that the [physical] pain [of cutting myself] took away from my pain inside.” A cocaine overdose brought on a particularly horrific episode. “I was bleeding from every hole in my body, and I really thought I was going to die that night. But you know what, I survived, and I swear it was a couple of days after that that I had an epiphany. I just stopped drugs, stopped smoking cigarettes, stopped everything, and went home.”
TMI, but interesting nonetheless. Maybe Lindsay Lohan could give it a read while in jail?

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Fergie Calls Herself A Whore…And A Virgin

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Fergie’s on the cover of Cosmopolitan UK‘s ‘Body Confidence’ issue, showing off all the magic workin’ on her fitness has done for her body. In true celebrity motor mouth fashion, she dishes about about her body and her husband, stripper-lover Josh Duhamel and offers up some pretty bizarre statements (no surprise there). When questioned about her global appeal she replied, “You know, in Italy, Catholic boys are raised to believe there are two types of women: the Madonna and the whore … And me? I’m both.”  Fergie Ferg…you grew up in California. Just saying!

She also revealed that post-Nine, Josh loved her newly-curvaceous body. “When I came home from filming, he was excited. He enjoys having both: the extra meat to grab when it’s there and the tight stomach when that’s there. He always gives me compliments.” We repeat… nothing here about him allegedly getting it on with a stripper. It’s one big love-fest with those two, right from when they met. Says Ferg, “At that stage of my life, I don’t think I’d have thought that about anybody. I’d made my lists of qualities that I wanted, and you can’t find out if someone has those in a week. It was learning what he was made of that made me fall in love with him.”

Isn’t that… sweet. But hey, if Josh ever does live up to his dirty dog rep, at least Fergie will always look amazing, especially while contorting in yoga-esque poses in killer high heels.

[Photo: Cosmo UK via PopSugar]