Posts By Ambika Muttoo

by (@missmuttoo)

Tori And Dean Tweet TMI About Catheters and Twilight Crushes

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Dean McDermott has recovered from the motorcycle crash which had him in the ICU with a punctured and collapsed lung. Mr. Tori Spelling left the hospital yesterday in the afternoon, with his wife Tori Spelling tweeting, “We R SO happy tht @deanracer is finally home from hospital! The kids and I picked him up this afternoon. We R all in bed now while he rests.”

That husband and wife duo have steadily been live-tweeting his recovery progress. We knew that he was out of the danger zone when Tori wrote on Twitter, “I said to @deanracer “Babe do u want anything?” He said ‘Oreo McFlurry! So his spirits are up despite all the pain.” We also know what Twilight team she’s on too, thanks to this tweet, “Rented New Moon for 2nite. Lonely w/o @deanracer. Just got home from hospital. Taco Bell and Team Edward!”

While it’s wonderful how the world is connected on the interwebs and all, there is something called Too. Much. Information. Dean wasn’t tweeting as much as much as his twittering wife,  even while lying on a hospital bed… in pain. He tweeted, “OMG !!!!! My catheter is stuck and won’t come out. I’m waiting for the Doctor to get here and give it a try. Gotta be honest, I’m scared !!” followed by, “I had the worst night. Catheter cut me up coming out. Unbelievable pain. I got a fever of 104 and was throwing up. Fun, WOW !!!”

Memo to over-sharing celebs: forget Twitter, forget telling the world about your creepy private business and just focus on getting better.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Orlando Bloom Tries To Steal Supermodel Status From His Fiancée

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Playing an unnaturally delish elf started off quite a winning streak for Orlando Bloom didn’t it? He’s been minting money ever since and dated Kate Bosworth for years. And when Kate and Orlando broke up, one could not help but think that he had cashed out his hotness chips. Orli and Kate B… he couldn’t possibly top that. And then he went and got engaged to Victoria’s Secret supermodel Miranda Kerr.

Orlando quit the Pirates of the Caribbeans franchise, but he’s going to be just fine for cash. Bloom’s been snapped up by Hugo Boss to become the face of their new fragrance BOSS Orange. He stated, “BOSS Orange is a brand I immediately identified with because it has a laid back, spontaneous quality I relate to.”

Taking a leaf out of the fiancée’s book, are we? Unfortunately none of Orlando’s ads are coming to the States; they can only be seen in Europe. His last modeling gigs were with the Chinese label Me & City and Japanese brand Shiseido. What’s Orli got against the good ol’ USA?

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@missmuttoo)

Cheryl Cole – Oops, We Mean Cheryl Tweedy – Has Malaria

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Ok big boo for Derek Hough. He did good by whisking off Cheryl Tweedy for a luxury vacay  to Tanzania. Yes, Tweedy. No more Cheryl Cole after deciding to divorce Ashley Cole, who’s busy frolicking with topless twits. Only problem is that Miz Tweedy’s ended up getting malaria after the holiday! This is not going to be a good story for them if they end up staying together. We can just see it.

“So, tell us how you guys got together.”
“I took her for an exotic African holiday.”
“And then I got malaria.”
*End of story*

Apparently the pretty singer contracted the illness after being by being bitten by a mosquito. She hadn’t been feeling well for a while but chalked it down to exhaustion. She was at a photo shoot and kidded around saying she was hungover. And then she fainted.  A source reveals, “Cheryl hadn’t been feeling herself for about a week [after returning on June 22]. She was feeling tired and listless. In the end, this must have been the beginnings of the [illness]. During Sunday afternoon, Cheryl went downhill quickly. She was sweating and shaking and in a bad way. Doctors are concerned that her immune system is weaker because she’s been working so hard. They believe this may make it harder for her to recover quickly.”

She was taken to hospital recently, where she’s expected to stay for a the next few days, and tested positive for malaria. She’ll hopefully recover within the next few weeks. Hough better be at her bedside.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Couple Or Hook-Up? Amber Rose And Reggie Bush Spotted Together

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Is there such a limited pool of celebrity that they have to keep dating each other in one big incestuous smorgasbord? Reggie Bush and Amber Rose have decided to join forces. As in Reggie of on-and-off, and now ex Kim Kardashian fame. Kimmy’s happily moved on to another NFL star, Miles Austin, FYI. Amber is of  ex-Kanye West and freaky fashion fame (photos).

So these two scorned lovahs showed up together at the AXE Lounge in Southhampton, and were getting it on all night. And we mean together, because they wouldn’t even be separated while going on restroom breaks. They went together, prompting a security to hustle them through the crush. So… what were you two up to in the bathroom? Hit us up with some theories, because we have some of our own… and they totally don’t have anything to do with actually going to the WC!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Serena Williams Accepts Her “Massive Butt”

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She likes big butts and she cannot lie. Well…she likes her big butt, and it’s taken her two decades to get there. Serena Williams revealed she loves her butt and her body in the August issue of Harper’s Bazaar.  The tennis star is okay with the fact that she’ll never have a body type like older sister, Venus Williams, saying, “I’m super-curvy. I have big boobs and this massive butt. She’s tall and she’s like a model and she fits everything. I was growing up, wanting to be her, wanting to look like her, and I was always fitting in her clothes, but then one day I couldn’t. I was 23 when I realized that I wasn’t Venus. She’s totally different.”

And different is just fine, or as she put it, “Different is good.”  And if it’s any consolation, she’s replaced Venus as numero uno in tennis rankings AND won Wimbledon this weekend. Again.

Serena’s been working on her fitness this year as well, dropping down to a size 10 from size 12, and she’s doing it the right way. “I’ve been doing Pilates and yoga, trying to lean out my body so I won’t be bulky.”  She doesn’t ever go the diet route adding, “I don’t even know the D word.” But what she does know is how a positive attitude can change everything, stating, “I think a smile can make your whole body. Models, they look fabulous, but they don’t smile and they look so mad.”

That’s ’cause a lot of them do believe in the D word!

[Photo: Getty Images]


by (@missmuttoo)

The Situation Uses Abs As Business Plan, Launches Muscle Boosters

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Do you think one of these days Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino‘s going to rip off his shirt and explode like the Incredible Hulk? “Beeerrr. Arrghh. Must.Have.Beer.” With all the super-packed mega-vits he’s selling, it could happen, you know. The self-confessed ladies man is launching a muscle-boosting vitamin supplement called NoX Edge that promises users a Situation-like body. So you too can have a Jersey Shore birthday cake featuring your abs!

And he “expects to be a millionaire by the end of 2010″ with this plan. ladies, are you getting excited yet? He’s got the body, all that’s missing is a brain and we’d have the complete package The Jersey Shore ‘star’ seems to be putting a lot of faith in vitamins. Remember his ad for Vitamin Water with David Wright? No, you don’t. You just remember his abs getting slammed by a baseball bat!

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Katie Holmes Cruising For A Spot On Glee

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Katie Holmes and husband Tom Cruise are taking this whole dancing-and-singing business quite seriously. She’s using the musical route to give some much needed CPR to her career, and has landed a 5-episode guest spot on Glee. Kinda like going back to her T.V roots.

Apparently, Mrs Cruise is quite chummy with the series creator Ryan Murphy, who she knows through her BFF Dianna Agron ( Quinn the cheerleader to Gleeks). Sources say she’s going full throttle to get the role, taking dance lessons from super choreographer Tyce Diorio and has even hired a private singing coach. They reveal, “Katie is finalizing a deal to join the cast for a limited story line next season. Katie’s film career has stalled, and she’s desperately needs a career boost. She’s hoping a stint on Glee will jumpstart her standing in Hollywood.” What do you think? Gleefully good idea or big fail?

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Cristiano Ronaldo Surprises World Saying He’s A New Dad

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Wait? What? When? Who? Where? Cristiano Ronaldo, super sizzling footballer extrodinaire, has revealed that he’s a new dad. And the mom, is not girlfriend Irina Shayk. She announced on her Facebook page, “My boyfriend is now the father of a boy.” So he got someone ELSE preggers? And Shayk knew?

That’s exactly how the world got to know about Ronaldo’s surprising new papahood, FYI. His Facebook page stated, “It is with great joy and emotion that I inform I have recently become father to a baby boy.” No word on who the mother is at all, but he also said that he’s raising his son on his own, writing, “As agreed with the baby’s mother, who prefers to have her identity kept confidential. My son will be under my exclusive guardianship.” His family are currently working on documents to bring the child to Portugal where he will be raised.

Of course rumors are rife. Portuguese newspaper Diario de Noticias claims that the baby was conceived by  the surrogate at the end of last summer in San Diego, where Ronaldo was vacationing. People can throw allegations left, right and centre, but the only people who know the truth are Ronaldo and GF, Mystery Mommy and his agent. And they ain’t talking. Yet.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@missmuttoo)

Lindsay Lohan’s New Lady Love

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Samantha Ronson (photos)? Who’s that? The days of Lindsay Lohan throwing drinks at ex SamRon’s face may be over. We said may. LiLo possibly has a new lady in her life. And it’s not Indrani Chaudhuri (photos).

It’s someone who could double as Linds’ bodyguard. Her name’s Eilat Anschel and she’s used to be a part of the  Israeli Defense Force (she completed her mandatory time in their army). The two met sometime ago in L.A. and sources reckon they’ve got pretty serious during the course of  June. Anschel was right by Lindsay providing a “shoulder to cry on” through all the drama of the past couple of months including her court visits and SCRAM bracelet ups-and-downs.

But this is Lindsay and she doesn’t take the normal route ever. Things may prove to be rocky because L.L’s totally obsessing over her new crush, and that’s never a good thing especially for La Lohan. Her friends revealed, “It’s not the healthiest relationship in the world.” Oh well. You know you’re going to here more about this!

[Photo: Getty Images]


by (@missmuttoo)

Katy Perry Saved Russell Brand From Drug And Sex Addictions

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Russell Brand and Katy Perry aren’t talking about whether they’re really married or not, but they’re A-Ok to speak about pretty much everything else. Including wanting Perry’s bestie Rihanna to strip at the bacholerette.

This time, she’s dishing about how the two met, saying, “I was 25, 30 feet away from him. And I threw the bottle straight at him. Hit him smack dab on the head. Can you imagine the horrible feeling he had, when he was used to getting everything he wanted? I was like, ‘You’ve met your match.’” Throwing the gauntlet down are we? Well, it did work! She also insists that they’re exactly the same revealing, “I’m like, ‘Oh my God, I am you. You are me,’” she says. “[We are] two divas in one house.” Might not have been the best idea saying that considering what followed. Perry also says that she did her bit in curing her hubby from his drug and sex addictions. Same person, are you?  She also compared him to – how do we say this politely – a man of the night. Screw it. She said it, not us! Perry lipped, “He used to basically be a professional prostitute – now he’s not. He’s an extremist, which can be both good and bad. I always needed someone stronger than me and I am, like, a f*****g strong elephant of a woman. I say that hopefully in the humblest way I can.”  If we said you weren’t, would you hit us with a bottle? [Photo: Getty Images]