This weekend Kim Kardashian showed off her bowling skills on lanes that are nicer than the nicest apartment we will ever have. The reality star made the trek from New York to Connecticut on Saturday to host the opening of Foxwoods Casino’s “High Rollers” bowling center, and possibly to flee drink-throwing crazies. She looked amazing in a gold Leger mini-dress, but we’re pretty sure those heals aren’t regulation bowling shoes. The fact she was able to get down the lane without mishap in that outfit leads us to believe that this girl knows how to roll. Doing it in a mini and stilettos takes a lot of (bowling) balls.
When you take on one Kardashian, you take on all of the Kardashians. One woman learned that lesson the hard way last night at the Manhattan hotspot Juliet. While the sisters were out celebrating the fact that they’re Kardashians, Kim was attacked by an enraged girlfriend of a male fan. All the dude wanted was a picture, but apparently his ladyfriend thought they were flirting. That’s when she harnessed all of her crazy, marched up to Kim and threw a drink in her face.
According to TMZ, things went downhill from there. Khloe and part-time Kardashian-babydaddy/full-time-tool Scott Disick had to jump in to pull the furious girl off of Kim. Khloe lost her wedding ring in the scuffle and “literally dove across the floor to retrieve it.” For his efforts, Scott was kicked out of the club, and the rest of the K-Krew exited soon after.
You don’t usually think of the Kardashian’s getting into bar brawls. Maybe they’re trying to compete with Jersey Shore.Kim And Kourtney Take Seaside Heights, anyone?
Ke$ha’s got it backwards. She made a new video, but unfortunately she left her aural assault “Take It Off” in there. It wasn’t the video we were complaining about, K-Money. Despite her efforts, it’s still a bad song and we took it off ourselves soon after.
America’s $weetheart posted the alternative video on her Youtube channel yesterday, writing, “me n my friends were bored and we were really channeling some 80s hard (tron, david bowie in labrynth, revenge of the nerds) and we made this new video for take it off. it was really fun to make. i hope you guys like it!!!!!”
The result seems to be less of “a dirty free for all”, and more like a post-apocalyptic lazer tag birthday party. There’s even face painting! Although there is the bit where she vandalizes a live human with a can of glowing spray paint. That got weird. Is it just us?
Johnny Depp’s awesome level has just reached superhuman levels. When student Beatrice Delap wrote a letter to Pirates of the Carribean hero Jack Sparrow looking for help staging a mutiny against her teachers, Depp took a hands-on approach. Yesterday the actor showed up at the girl’s elementary school, dressed in full pirate regalia.
The nine-year-old wrote: “Captain Jack Sparrow, at Meridian Primary School, we are a bunch of budding young pirates and we were having a bit of trouble mutiny-ing against the teachers, and we’d love if you could come and help.”
Depp, who was filming scenes for the upcoming Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides in nearby East London, appeared at the school with only ten minutes notice. According to the Daily Mail, he addressed the students in trademark Sparrow rasp. The sashaying swashbuckler then called Delap out of the crowd for a hug, and told her that he intended to frame her letter before adding, “Maybe we shouldn’t mutiny today, ‘cos there are police outside that have been monitoring me.”
Our biggest question for the lucky “budding pirate” is: where did you get Captain Sparrow’s address? And can you send it our way?
Kanye West seemed to forget his mask when he showed up at the Grazia Masquerade Ball in Paris on Tuesday. But no one cared because he brought Victoria’s Secret angel Selita Ebanks, providing yet another example of why it’s awesome to date a super model.
Did we say “date”? Our mistake. Because according to Selita, the fashionista and fashionisto (?) are just friends. This, despite the fact that they’re clearly holding hands in the linked-finger romantic manner, and have been spotted looking friendly at a number of events, including the US Open last month. Selita even starred in Kayne’s short film Runaway. And Kanye mentioned her in his new song “Christian Dior Denim Flow,” for crying out loud! Sounds like the Robsten defense to us.
To be fair, Kanye has been making the rounds since giving Amber Rose the boot this spring. He’s hit the town with the likes of Kim Kardashian and Shay the UK Bombshell, but the 34-year old rapper insists that he’s on the hunt for a Mrs. Taylor-Swift‘s-Worst-Nightmare. For what it’s worth, our vote goes to Selita.
When we see ridiculously attractive celebs driving their Ferraris to some hot Hollywood party with their glamourous spouse by their side, it hurts.Ã‚Â To make ourselves feel better, we assume there must be a trade off for being so gorgeous and successful, and that these A-listers must be spectacularly stupid.Ã‚Â Our wounded egos desperately try to console us by saying, “Yeah well, they may be better looking, more popular, and have more money than you, but….at least you probably did better on your SATs! And you got that junior year calculus grade up to a C+, so Matt Damon can suck it!”
But we’ve got some really bad news. Many stars not only have the beauty and the brawn, but million-dollar brains to match. Check out the gallery below to see which smart stars made our Hollywood Honor Roll! And be sure to see Waiting for Superman, the new documentary about the cracks in our education system and the super-smart kids trying to climb out of them.
Here we have the inspiration for the hottest cuckoo clock ever. It’s always sexy o’clock when you’ve got the Kardashians, and today Kim and MamaKris hit up the annual Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany, looking lovely in traditional dirndl dresses and off-the-shoulder bodices.
Kim gushed on her Twitter, “I love Germany, its Vonderfull here! I love z apple strudel,” drawing mild concerns from the stereotype police. The pair are passing through Germany on their European promotional tour for Keeping Up With The Kardashians, which has already brought them to London and Milan.
The fabulous Frau and Fraulein are doing Deutschland right, donning their new dirndls duds and hitting up the largest folk festival in the world, which celebrates its 200th anniversary this year. While there they sampled some of the local beer, pretzels and ice cream, and found time to pose in the massive Hippodrom hall. Will the newly-single Kim find a Hansel to her gorgeously braided Gretel? Wait, Hansel and Gretel were brother and sister, weren’t they. Ew. You know what we meant. Check out the gallery below for the best of Bavaria, Kardashian style.
Glee guys and glamazons kicked their second season started off right last night with a party at Paramount Studios in Hollywood. A room full of young, talented and beautiful people, all dressed in fab threads…How could the night get any better? With an appearance from John Stamos of course! That’s right, the artist formerly known as Uncle Jesse is just one of the several famous famous we can expect to see popping up in the halls of William McKinley High School this season.
The season premiere is set to air on September 21st, and Rolling Stone reports that the Gleeks will be taking on Jay-Z‘s “Empire State of Mind,” Lady Gaga‘s “Telephone,” Travie McCoy‘s “Billionaire,” Poison‘s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” and several classic show tunes. Sadly we don’t see any tracks from Jesse and the Rippers. This better be fixed, or else someone’s going to be in big trouble, Mister.
Cuteness is a force that can be measured by the distance you’ll travel in order to pinch cheeks and speak in a high pitched voice. It’s a universal truth that all babies emit cuteness rays, but celebrity children cast their lovable web around total strangers all over the world. Is it their incredible living-doll wardrobe? The cuteness halo they throw over their already-extremely-cute parents, creating a photo-op of exponential adorability? It’s a mystery of science and nature. For the final Short List, the VH1 experts completed the circle of life by counting down the Ten Cutest Celebrity Babies. We decided to make a list of our own because, hey, who doesn’t want see more precious tots? Check out these “awww”-inspiring kids after the jump.
There’s no denying that showbiz has more tools than a Home Depot full of Hummer-owners, and last Friday The Short List crew used them to build you a house of hilarity. The experts did a pretty good job as they counted down the Ten Biggest Celebrity Tools, but we feel that they cut their list with a bit too many douche-bags and not enough tools. (Yes, there’s a difference!) So here to put things right once more, The Shorter List brings you a few extra tools who have screwed, banged, nailed, drilled, greased and wrenched their way to infamy. Don’t forget your hard hat.