At some point we all suffer moments so painfully uncomfortable that we wish we could bore into our brains and suck out the memory with a shop-vac. But at least the cameras aren’t rolling when ours happen, unlike these unfortunate celebs. While memories may fade, video clips never do. That’s bad luck for them, but endlessly amusing for the rest of us.
Last Friday night The Short List train barreled on with the 10 Most Awkward Celebrity Moments. There were so many to choose from that we decided to chime in with a just-as-short-list of our own. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll cringe, and for once you’ll be glad you’re not to be rich and famous. See if your favorite moment made the cut!
[Photo: Getty and Images]
It’s that time of the week again! Last Friday night The Short List ranked the hottest celebs to ever slather SP 40 over their glistening million-dollar physique (or as they called it, the 10 Hottest Celebrity Beach Bods). But we feel that the esteemed VH1 experts missed a few people in their quest to see who had the bangin’est beach bod. So we’re here to fill in a few gaps. Just think of it as a public service. Grab your Ray-Bans, sandals and a couple of towels: we’re going to the beach!
[Photo: Getty Images]
Paul Reubens is back in the limelight after far too long, performing his trademark character on Broadway this fall. That’s the good news. The bad news is that Pee Wee is sharing far more than we cared to know about his pee wee. The former children’s host/nightmare has spoken candidly about the arrest in an adult movie theater which threatened to ruin his career in 1991. Fittingly, the interview appeared in Playboy. At least he’s sure to find a sympathetic audience.
He pled no contest at the time to avoid the humiliation of a long drawn out trial, though we can’t imagine how it could be any more embarrassing than that bow tie. Yet even after all these years, Reubens still insists he was behaving innocently in his new playhouse. While we find it unlikely that he was simply admiring the powerful performances on the magic screen, he claims to have proof he wasn’t jiggling his Jambi!
“Had we gone to trial, we had ready an expert from the Masters and Johnson Institute who was going to testify that in 30 years of research on masturbation the institute had never found one person who masturbated with his or her nondominant hand. I’m right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn’t have been me.”
The revelation of this fun Pee Wee fact left us thinking three things simultaneously:
1. What the hell is the Masters and Johnson Institute?
2. *Ahhh AHHHHH ahhhhh AHHHHH* ‘Masturbation’ is today’s secret word!
3. Did someone try to frame Pee Wee!?
The King of Cartoons was unavailable for comment.
So…this happened. Vowing to stay away from bars after spending a few hours behind them last week, Snooki found a new way to have fun while cruising the Jersey boardwalk with her film posse.
Enter, the mechanical bull. Ever the lady, the fun-sized Snickers approached the bucking bronco in a see-through white dress, which any cowboy will tell you is standard attire (not). Unfortunately, television magic only lasted a few short moments before Snooki was thrown to the floor of the inflatable ring. Adding insult to injury, she inadvertently flashed the crowd as she picked herself up. Never fear, as we’re sure Snooks will be back in the saddle again in no time. And hopefully a TV crew will be present. [Photos: Splash News Online]
Now who on earth could that be? You can’t see her poker face, so it’s hard to tell. But we’ll give you a hint; she’s the first subject of VH1′s The Short List, which premiered last Friday! Join our hilarious experts each week as they sound off on topics ranging from the cutest celebrity babies to the best celebrity beach bods. Friday night they blasted into orbit with a look back at this “Lady’s” other-worldly attire that could only have come from the planet Glam. Give up? It’s Lady Gaga! Oh, you knew? What gave it away?
Follow along as we count down five of the choices that would’ve made our list…
[Photo: Getty Images]
Ladies and gentlemen, we are pleased to present Jackie O-my-god-that’s-Katie-Holmes. Alright, we’ll be the first to say we were skeptical when we heard that the former Dawson’s Creek dweller would portray iconic first lady Jackie Kennedy in the upcoming miniseries, The Kennedys. The eight hour epic TV movie will be the History Channel’s first attempt at a scripted drama, documenting the scandalous, private lives of the famous family. While we haven’t seen her act the part, we’ve got to admit that she looked amazing while shooting in Toronto. Nice doppelganger work, girlfriend.
‘”We have these wonderful seamstresses who are creating beautiful dresses that are obviously replicas of real things she wore,” Katie told UsMagazine.com. Two of the dresses she wears were stitched by her friend Georgio Armani. Legendary designers tackling classic style? Screw Glee, Katie should try for a guest spot on Mad Men!
[Photo: Splash News Online]
We were so shocked by Lindsay Lohan’s manicured message at her court date that we decided to go back through our old pics -Da Vinci Code style- and see if there was anything else she was trying to tell us on her fingers. Sadly the trail went cold, but we did discover one thing: prior to her contempt of court, she showed a clear contempt of hygiene. At least where her chipped, gnawed and mangled nails were concerned. Although we guess it makes sense when you consider Lohan’s signature pose.
We know, it’s been a rough week for Lilo and we hate to kick her while she’s down. Plus we don’t want to trigger a “Leave Lindsay Alone” movement (anyone…? anyone…? Bueller?). So we’ll look on the bright side! Now that Lindsay is going to jail for 90 days, it’s the perfect time for her twin to restart her acting career! You know, the other girl in The Parent Trap? The sweet one, with the cute British accent! Wait, what? Really? That’s Lindsay too? You’ve gotta be kidding…We feel so betrayed.
We didn’t want to have to do this. But that’s what you get for playing with our hearts, Lindsay. Check out her passion for fugly nails in the gallery below.
[Photo: Getty Images and Splash News]
Javier Bardem will be the latest A-lister to pass through Glee’s revolving door of guest spots. No, he will not be reprising his Oscar-winning role as the shaggy-haired outburst-prone psychotic hitman from No Country For Old Men, because there’s already one Sue Sylvester. EW.com reports that he will instead be playing an international rock star who befriends the nerdy Artie Abrams. The two are even rumored to share a duet!
“We are going to rock the house,” Bardem assured EW, “We’re going to do some heavy metal-Spanish heavy metal, which is the worst.” He pitched the idea himself while being directed by the show’s creator Ryan Murphy in this summer’s Eat Pray Love. The Spanish heart-throb is apparently a hard-core Gleek after having watched the entire first season in week.
As much as we’re looking forward to seeing the smoldering leading man rock out in the McKinley High School auditorium, we can’t help but worry that all of the famous faces might distract from the story of the super talented students. Are the celebs simply icing on the cake, or is it coming dangerously close to shark-jumping? Let us know what you think, Gleeks!
Holly Madison celebrated Independence Day by hosting a star-spangled pool party in her hometown of Las Vegas, Nevada. The shindig took place by the Wet Republic pool at the MGM Grand Hotel and Casino, a celeb cool spot where Lindsay Lohan, Audrina Patridge, and the newly bionic Heidi Montag have already splashed the day away.
The former star of The Girls Next Door and ex-member of Hef’s Girlfriend Squad tweeted about the event before hand, saying, “If u r in Vegas tomorrow come to my pool party at MGM’s Wet Republic! It’s gonna be hot!”
We tried to get there but sadly we couldn’t get a flight, so we had to be content burning our fingers on sparklers instead of playing “Marco Polo” with a Playboy Playmate. If you’re in the same boat, check the gallery below to see what you missed.
[Photo: Getty Images]