Posts By Jordan Runtagh

by (@JordanRuntagh)

A Very Kardashian Oktoberfest!

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Here we have the inspiration for the hottest cuckoo clock ever. It’s always sexy o’clock when you’ve got the Kardashians, and today Kim and Mama Kris hit up the annual Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany, looking lovely in traditional dirndl dresses and off-the-shoulder bodices.

Kim gushed on her Twitter, “I love Germany, its Vonderfull here! I love z apple strudel,” drawing mild concerns from the stereotype police. The pair are passing through Germany on their European promotional tour for Keeping Up With The Kardashians, which has already brought them to London and Milan.

The fabulous Frau and Fraulein are doing Deutschland right, donning their new dirndls duds and hitting up the largest folk festival in the world, which celebrates its 200th anniversary this year. While there they sampled some of the local beer, pretzels and ice cream, and found time to pose in the massive Hippodrom hall. Will the newly-single Kim find a Hansel to her gorgeously braided Gretel? Wait, Hansel and Gretel were brother and sister, weren’t they. Ew. You know what we meant. Check out the gallery below for the best of Bavaria, Kardashian style.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Have Mercy! Uncle Jesse Graces Glee Premiere

Glee guys and glamazons kicked their second season started off right last night with a party at Paramount Studios in Hollywood. A room full of young, talented and beautiful people, all dressed in fab threads…How could the night get any better? With an appearance from John Stamos of course! That’s right, the artist formerly known as Uncle Jesse is just one of the several famous famous we can expect to see popping up in the halls of William McKinley High School this season.

The season premiere is set to air on September 21st, and Rolling Stone reports that the Gleeks will be taking on Jay-Z‘s “Empire State of Mind,” Lady Gaga‘s “Telephone,” Travie McCoy‘s “Billionaire,” Poison‘s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” and several classic show tunes. Sadly we don’t see any tracks from Jesse and the Rippers. This better be fixed, or else someone’s going to be in big trouble, Mister.

Check out last nights’ fun in the gallery below!

[Photo: Images]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

The Shorter List: Cutest Celebrity Babies

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Cuteness is a force that can be measured by the distance you’ll travel in order to pinch cheeks and speak in a high pitched voice. It’s a universal truth that all babies emit cuteness rays, but celebrity children cast their lovable web around total strangers all over the world. Is it their incredible living-doll wardrobe? The cuteness halo they throw over their already-extremely-cute parents, creating a photo-op of exponential adorability? It’s a mystery of science and nature. For the final Short List, the VH1 experts completed the circle of life by counting down the Ten Cutest Celebrity Babies. We decided to make a list of our own because, hey, who doesn’t want see more precious tots? Check out these “awww”-inspiring kids after the jump.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

The Shorter List: Biggest Celebrity Tools

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There’s no denying that showbiz has more tools than a Home Depot full of Hummer-owners, and last Friday The Short List crew used them to build you a house of hilarity. The experts did a pretty good job as they counted down the Ten Biggest Celebrity Tools, but we feel that they cut their list with a bit too many douche-bags and not enough tools. (Yes, there’s a difference!) So here to put things right once more, The Shorter List brings you a few extra tools who have screwed, banged, nailed, drilled, greased and wrenched their way to infamy. Don’t forget your hard hat.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

The Just-As-Short-List: Top Ten Most Awkward Celeb Moments

At some point we all suffer moments so painfully uncomfortable that we wish we could bore into our brains and suck out the memory with a shop-vac. But at least the cameras aren’t rolling when ours happen, unlike these unfortunate celebs. While memories may fade, video clips never do. That’s bad luck for them, but endlessly amusing for the rest of us.

Last Friday night The Short List train barreled on with the 10 Most Awkward Celebrity Moments. There were so many to choose from that we decided to chime in with a just-as-short-list of our own. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll cringe, and for once you’ll be glad you’re not to be rich and famous. See if your favorite moment made the cut!

[Photo: Getty and Images]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

The Shorter List: Hottest Celebrity Beach Bods

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It’s that time of the week again! Last Friday night The Short List ranked the hottest celebs to ever slather SP 40 over their glistening million-dollar physique (or as they called it, the 10 Hottest Celebrity Beach Bods). But we feel that the esteemed VH1 experts missed a few people in their quest to see who had the bangin’est beach bod. So we’re here to fill in a few gaps. Just think of it as a public service. Grab your Ray-Bans, sandals and a couple of towels: we’re going to the beach!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Pee Wee Gets The TMI of the Year Award

Paul Reubens is back in the limelight after far too long, performing his trademark character on Broadway this fall. That’s the good news. The bad news is that Pee Wee is sharing far more than we cared to know about his pee wee. The former children’s host/nightmare has spoken candidly about the arrest in an adult movie theater which threatened to ruin his career in 1991. Fittingly, the interview appeared in Playboy. At least he’s sure to find a sympathetic audience.

He pled no contest at the time to avoid the humiliation of a long drawn out trial, though we can’t imagine how it could be any more embarrassing than that bow tie. Yet even after all these years, Reubens still insists he was behaving innocently in his new playhouse. While we find it unlikely that he was simply admiring the powerful performances on the magic screen, he claims to have proof he wasn’t jiggling his Jambi!

“Had we gone to trial, we had ready an expert from the Masters and Johnson Institute who was going to testify that in 30 years of research on masturbation the institute had never found one person who masturbated with his or her nondominant hand. I’m right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it couldn’t have been me.”

The revelation of this fun Pee Wee fact left us thinking three things simultaneously:

1. What the hell is the Masters and Johnson Institute?
2. *Ahhh AHHHHH ahhhhh AHHHHH* ‘Masturbation’ is today’s secret word!
3. Did someone try to frame Pee Wee!?

The King of Cartoons was unavailable for comment.

[Photo: Images]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Snooki Rides ‘Em, Then Flashes ‘Em

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So…this happened. Vowing to stay away from bars after spending a few hours behind them last week, Snooki found a new way to have fun while cruising the Jersey boardwalk with her film posse.

Enter, the mechanical bull. Ever the lady, the fun-sized Snickers approached the bucking bronco in a see-through white dress, which any cowboy will tell you is standard attire (not). Unfortunately, television magic only lasted a few short moments before Snooki was thrown to the floor of the inflatable ring. Adding insult to injury, she inadvertently flashed the crowd as she picked herself up. Never fear, as we’re sure Snooks will be back in the saddle again in no time. And hopefully a TV crew will be present. [Photos: Splash News Online]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

The Shorter List: Lady Gaga’s Craziest Fashion Moments

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Now who on earth could that be? You can’t see her poker face, so it’s hard to tell. But we’ll give you a hint; she’s the first subject of VH1′s The Short List, which premiered last Friday! Join our hilarious experts each week as they sound off on topics ranging from the cutest celebrity babies to the best celebrity beach bods. Friday night they blasted into orbit with a look back at this “Lady’s” other-worldly attire that could only have come from the planet Glam. Give up? It’s Lady Gaga! Oh, you knew? What gave it away?

Follow along as we count down five of the choices that would’ve made our list…

[Photo: Getty Images]
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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Katie Holmes Sexes Up The History Channel

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Ladies and gentlemen, we are pleased to present Jackie O-my-god-that’s-Katie-Holmes. Alright, we’ll be the first to say we were skeptical when we heard that the former Dawson’s Creek dweller would portray iconic first lady Jackie Kennedy in the upcoming miniseries, The Kennedys. The eight hour epic TV movie will be the History Channel’s first attempt at a scripted drama, documenting the scandalous, private lives of the famous family. While we haven’t seen her act the part, we’ve got to admit that she looked amazing while shooting in Toronto. Nice doppelganger work, girlfriend.

‘”We have these wonderful seamstresses who are creating beautiful dresses that are obviously replicas of real things she wore,” Katie told UsMagazine.com. Two of the dresses she wears were stitched by her friend Georgio Armani. Legendary designers tackling classic style?  Screw Glee, Katie should try for a guest spot on Mad Men!

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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