Posts By Jordan Runtagh

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Lindsay Lohan Blew Off Community Service, Psych Visits, And The Dentist

Lindsay Lohan’s stare-down with the law is almost getting impressive, were it not so amazingly stupid. Despite promising that she’d keep her nose clean (*zing*) after getting released from custody in May, Lindsay has been found in double violation of her probation and now could face time in jail. Maybe even in a real jail this time, and not staying  in her house and watching DVDs, which some of us would call “the weekend.”

According to TMZ,  the actress has failed to see her court-appointed psychologist once a week, as outlined in her probation terms. Lilo claims that she was unable to attend her shrink sessions because she was working out of the country, but the court says this is no excuse. In fact, Judge Stephanie Sautner specifically forbade her from work if it would interfere with the terms of her probation.

On top of that misstep, Lindsay has also been “kicked out” of her community service gig at the Downtown Woman’s Shelter for “violating the rules several times.” Apparently she “blew off” a total of nine visits, and when she did decide to show, she’d bounce after only an hour instead of the required four. Part of her probation agreement was for her to serve 360 hours of community service by May 2012 and so far she’s done twenty-on, which the judge hilariously calls this “unimpressive.” Lindsay’s now reportedly been moved to a new community service program at the Red Cross. But we should go easy on Lindsay lately, because she’s apparently very busy. From the looks of Lindsay’s brown teeth, she hasn’t even had time to get to the dentist in a while, either.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Courtney Stodden Banned From Facebook For Being Too Sexy/Creepy

It looks like Facebook defriended Courtney Stodden. The social networking site  apparently banned the seventeen year old for posting “inappropriate sexual content” on her page. The peeps at Facebook seem to have gotten “sexual” confused with “creepy”, but we still agree with the end result. However, not everyone feels that way. Her mother (of all people) is speaking out against the ban, saying that she was cool with the racy pix. But then again this is the same woman who signed off on letting Courtney marry 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchinson. Just sayin’.

“There is nothing on her page you wouldn’t find anywhere on Facebook!” her mom told E! News. “She has never done any nudity. Not a breast, not even a butt cheek. It’s just her in a bathing suit!” She claims that the real reason is that we’re all just jealous of her daughter’s underage hotness. “It’s the jealousy from the women towards her. The men love her, the women hate her. The women report the photo because it’s so easy to do. You just click a button.” She even suspects a massive female conspiracy to keep her child’s semi nude body from reaching a wider audience. “They think she’s too sexy, they all report her together, and it’s done.”

Amazingly, Facebook reps heard her mother’s complaints and reinstated Courtney’s privileges late this afternoon.”This page was removed in error and has been restored,” Facebook said in a statement. “We apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.” Perverts all over the world silently accepted the apology.

[Photo: Facebook]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Lindsay Lohan’s Latest Look: A Pop Quiz

Hey guys, can we talk to you about something for a sec? We’re gonna come right out and say it: we’re worried about that Lindsay Lohan. She showed up to the Saints Row: The Third premiere last night looking less than her usual youthful, natural, and fresh-faced self. Something about her just seems kinda…off. Are we crazy? She looked so tired, but it couldn’t have been that late. We hope she’s not feeling under the weather. The pollen count’s been pretty high this year. And her teeth seem so…brown. Has she been forgetting to floss!? And what the hell is that stuff all over her hands? We’ve done a lot of thinking, and here are some choices that might explain her less than radiant red carpet stroll.

A. Took the Nyquil when she meant to take the DayQuil.

B. Sleep debt from staying up to watch the Kardashian wedding special.

C. Really just doesn’t give a damn about Saints Row: The Third.

D. Sugar crash after eating Nestle Quik powder straight from the jar again. *bonus points for explaining her teeth*

F. Was up late making a homemade card for her probation officer.*bonus points for explaining her hands*

F. Wait a sec…the orangey fake tan….the wonky teeth….it all makes sense: She wants to become a Jack-o-Lantern!

Check out the gallery below and make your own conclusions.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Kourtney Kardashian Buys Baby Mason A Pet Snake

Umm…aww? Kourtney Kardashian decided that her young son Mason Disick should have a pet. Sounds perfectly natural, right? But then she had to go “Kardashian” all over everything, and the result: she went out and bought the 21-month old a snake. And this isn’t just a some friendly little garter, either. Apparently Baby’s First Reptile is “big and vicious.” Kourtney made the purchase in the New York City store Fauna yesterday along with little sis Khloe, who was understandably pretty grossed out by the whole ordeal. “Eww! It’s not mine,” she told photographers as they carried the serpent out of the shop. No word yet on what they named the snake (may we suggest “Scott Disick”?), but it now resides comfortably in the Kardashian suite at the Gansevoort Hotel where it passes the hours “snapping at the grass” in it’s tank. File this one under “Things they wouldn’t do if they weren’t followed by a camera crew.” Don’t forget to save the snake skin for Mason’s baby book!

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Stars Of The Old And New Footloose Faceoff!

Crank that rock ‘n’ roll because Footloose is back for more! We all remember Kevin Bacon’s breakout role as the dude who just wants to dance in a town full of people with two left feet, right? Well now, twenty-seven years after the original, it’s almost time to cut loose once again with a hot new remake featuring Kenny Wormald and Julianne Hough. It’s fresh, it’s fun and it hits theaters this Friday! How does the new version compare to the classic we know and love? Will rock still prevail? Will kids be dancing in the streets? And will we be dancing in the theater aisles? We hope so. Check out the gallery below to see who’s reviving your Footloose favorites. Plus you can peep the trailer under the jump and to get even more pumped for Friday!

[Photo: Paramount Pictures]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Woman’s Lawsuit Over ‘Misleading’ Drive Trailer Leads To Our Own Complaints

If you don’t like a movie, you usually just leave the theater. But a woman in Michigan must have realllllly hated Drive, because now she’s suing over the film’s “misleading” trailer. Sarah Deming is filing a lawsuit against the distributors of the Ryan Gosling flick, saying she was duped into buying a ticket as the result of a manipulative promo. We agree that ticket prices are getting out of control (12 bucks!?), but this is a little extreme. Among her complaints against FilmDistrict Distribution:

– Drive was promoted as being in the same vein as Fast and Furious, when it actually wasn’t like it at all.

– “Drive bore very little similarity to a chase, or race action film, for reasons including but not limited to Drive having very little driving in the motion picture.”

– “Extreme gratuitous defamatory dehumanizing racism directed against members of the Jewish faith.”

She is demanding her money back, and aims to file a class action lawsuit in the coming days to prevent more of what she sees as audience exploitation. And she’s right! We’ve been misled for years not only by trailers, but movie titles too! Check out the gallery below for 20 films we’ve been tricked into seeing over the years. Maybe you’ll learn from our mistakes…

[Photo: Odd Lot Entertainment]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Nicki Minaj Performs With Little ‘Super Bass’ YouTube Stars

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This clip warmed our heart so much it gave us heartburn. By now we’re sure you’ve already seen the video of two little British girls tearing into Nicki Minaj’s “Super Bass.” If you haven’t, then your day is about to get exponentially better. Ellen DeGeneres invited 8 year-old Sophia and her 5-year old cousin Rosie onto her show yesterday, where she surprised the girls with a trip to the salon and a shopping spree. But in a bid to become our favorite person of all time, Ellen then brought out Nicki Minaj herself to greet the young Super (Bass) fans! “Within five seconds of seeing this video I was calling everyone,” Nicki told the girls. “I was also receiving a billion emails. Everyone was like, ‘You have to see this little girl.’”

The trio then performed the signature song, and despite the fact that they were performing next to their idol, the kids didn’t miss a dang beat! In fact, Nicki seemed the one most thrown off, especially when Sophia started rapping some of the more adult lyrics. Sadly, they didn’t follow it up with a version of the even-less-kid-friendly “Did It On ‘Em.” Although seriously impressed, Nicki urged the mini-hers to stay on top of their education before heading out on the pink road to stardom. “I just want you to stay in school. Music is beautiful but stay in school, ok. Put your books first and singing second.” Who would have thought that “Super Bass” could get so super cute? Check it out in the clip above!

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Tori Spelling Gives Birth To A Daughter

Here’s what we think happened: Tori Spelling heard about the birth of Johnny Knoxville’s daughter last week, so not to be outdone she kicked her pregnancy into overdrive. That’s how it works, right? In any event, Tori and her husband Dean McDermott welcomed a new member to their family yesterday morning! “Our family’s so happy 2 announce [that on] 10/10/11  baby girl Hattie Margaret McDermott was born at 7:08am! Xoxo,” the new mother tweeted. She also attached a squee-inducing photo of the little bundle’s feet. The couple announced that they were “expecting” back in April, but vowed not to learn the gender of the baby until the big day. In addition to the newborn, the reality show stars have a 3-year old daughter Stella and a 4-year-old son Liam, as well as Dean’s teenage son Jack from a previous marriage. Congrats!

[Photo: Getty/Twitter]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Emma Watson’s Ex Says He Didn’t Want To Date “Some Child Actress”

Earlier today we wrote about Dudley O’Shaughnessy being too busy to date Rihanna, the Sexiest Woman Alive. And right now we’d like to expand on the theme of D-list dudes dumping their lovely A-list ladies. Emma Watson’s former flame Francis Boulle has recently opened up about why their relationship never blossomed, and as you might have expected, it’s not her-  it’s him. The two met at the Cartier polo party in 2008, but the thought of being outshone by the Harry Potter star didn’t sit well with Francis, who at that time was an aspiring actor.

“We had a bit of a thing a while back,” he explained to Heat Magazine, “but I have always been an ambitious person and I want to achieve my own notoriety for what I’ve done.”  Well congrats Francis, because we think you just did. “I chose not to pursue it any longer because I didn’t want to be the boyfriend of some child actress.” And that’s why he decided to split with the beautiful, talented, rich and famous Ivy league student. At least you can never accuse him of being a star f–ker, right? Luckily good things have come to both since the split. Emma’s moved on to dating her Perks of Being A Wallflower costar Johnny Simmons, and Francis has moved on to doing reality TV, where everyone’s a star. Kinda like porn.

For your viewing pleasure, we’ve assembled some of Emma’s least child-actressy (read: HOT) looks in the gallery below. Enjoy!

[Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Dudley O’Shaughnessy Is Kinda Over Rihanna, The ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’

So last week it sounded like Rihanna was hitting it off pretty well with British model/boxer Dudley O’Shaughnessy. Riri plucked the dude from relative obscurity to co-star in her upcoming “We Found Love” music video, and then the two were seen partying together in London all last week. But everyone knows that romance can be fleeting, and now Dud is kinda over the singer. In fact, he claims to be “too busy” to spend time with her. “We had fun ­together, but I don’t know whether I will see her again to be honest,” he told Britain’s Daily Mirror. “I’d like to go to America … but for work. My career is my biggest priority right now.”

This news comes on the heals of Rihanna being dubbed “The Sexiest Woman Alive” by that most prestigious of sources, Esquire. So let’s get this straight: It’s bad enough that you’re “too busy” to hang with this mega hot superstar who gave you the biggest career break ever by putting you in the video for her hit song. But now you’re also blowing off the SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE? Dude … dude. Just … no. Dudley O’Shaughnessy, you’re doing it so very wrong. We’re shaking our head so hard that we now have whiplash.

[Photo: Getty Images/Esquire]