Posts By Jordan Runtagh

by (@JordanRuntagh)

The 10 Fab-est Things We Owe To Steve Jobs

“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” – Steve Jobs, Stanford University Commencement Speech, 2005

The world lost one of its most original visionaries, as Steve Jobs passed away yesterday at the age of 56. Like Edison, Gutenberg and Henry Ford all rolled into one, Jobs and his Apple Inc. gave us so many tools that we’ve almost come to take for granted in our everyday existence. The man improved our lives immeasurably and changed the way we think. His devices made the world a little smaller and a little closer. In Steve’s memory, we’d like to give a FabLife salute and take a look at some of the many gifts he gave us in his much-too-short lifetime.

And yes, this is sent from our MacBook Pro.

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Diddy Flips Out At Club Dude For Drinking Non-Diddy Endosed Vodka

Diddy apparently has strong feelings about vodka, as one club go-er learned the hard way over the weekend. The incident began last Saturday night after the 2011 BET Hip-hop Awards in Atlanta. Diddy and his entourage rolled over to the nearby Compound club after the show, where a reveler named Ricky Parker was apparently drinking Grey Goose vodka. Whether he was doing this to intentionally piss Diddy off remains to be seen, but the rapper/Circoc Vodka spokesman definitely wasn’t happy. We’re sure he meant to express his displeasure at Ricky’s beverage choice in a sane, calm, and rational manner, befitting a man of Diddy’s stature. However, it came out of his mouth as: “B-tch ass n—s! Put that s–t down before I come smack that purple shirt off your ass!”

Things got even worse as Diddy reportedly threw ice at the man, then began screaming racial and homophobic slurs. Good thing fellow rapper T.I. was on hand to step in as the voice of reason. “Let them n—-s drink what the f–k they want man,” he begged his buddy Diddy over the club’s PA system. “I’d go to war with you, but come on man, let’s go.” T.I.’s an experienced negotiator, having already talked down a suicidal jumper, so we’re glad he was around to calm Diddy down.

It took Diddy a few days of chilling out to realize his over reaction, but last night he took to his twitter account to apologize for how he acted. “I’m sorry for the ignorant way I repesented [SIC] myself,”  he typed. “I have backslid and regressed. Forgive me for my ignorance. Pray for me pls. I know better and I am better.” One dude who won’t be forgiving the rapper anytime soon is Ricky Parker, who tells TMZ that he feels “humiliated and disrespected” by Diddy. “You won’t ever hear me support him from this moment forward.” Maybe Diddy should buy him a drink? Check out the vid of the incident under the jump!

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Lea Michele Forgot To Wear Pants To The American Horror Story Premiere

Damn, Glee girl! We weren’t sure if Lea Michele’s micro-mini technically counted as a dress, or if she just forgot to wear pants. But after a little research we discovered that the outfit is sold through ASOS, and it’s actually just meant as a top! We guess she took a page from the Rihanna stylebook. Lea wore the super-short ensemble to the premiere of American Horror Night, the latest project from Glee guru Ryan Murphy. Fellow cast mates Chris Colfer, Cory Monteith, Amber Riley and Naya Rivera also strutted their stuff on the red carpet. Check out more in the gallery below!

[Photo: Images]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

The Bluth Family Album: Arrested Development Stars Then And Now

It’s the most anticipated reunion since the Beatles! The cast of Arrested Development is back together for another season plus a full length motion picture, and we’re so excited we think we just blue ourselves. Ever since the show was criminally taken off the air back in 2006, we’ve had a Bluth-sized hole in our hearts big enough for G.O.B to drive a Segway through. But Jason Bateman, Portia de Rossi, David Cross, and all the rest of your favorites (even Michael Cera) are signed on for the new installment of the greatest family crime saga this side of The Godfather. Huzzah!

Looking up every star to have crossed the Bluth family’s path would be like going through the Hollywood phonebook, but we’ve checked in with a few of the usual suspects to see what they’ve been up to since last saw them in the model home. So sit back, relax, and have a frozen banana as you enjoy the Bluth family album!

[Photo: Getty Images/Fox]

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by (@JordanRuntagh)

Bethenny Frankel Hires A “Niceness” Coach

Bethenny Frankel’s no-nonsense demeanor definitely makes her the real-est of the Real Housewives of New York.  But now she’s trying to drop her trademark ‘tude, and even got a coach to help her! In an effort to make her syndicated “advice-based” talk show more sell-able, Bethenny has hired a mentor to essentially teach her to be nice. On air, at least.

The reality star recently shot the pilot for an “advice-based” show, but the reactions have been mostly negative so far. Producers think it’s her brash New York manner that rubbed test audiences the wrong way. “She came off as too aggressive,” a source told the New York Post. So now they’re calling in outside help to smooth out the tough-talking Manhattanite’s  rough edges. The coach would offer her advice like “speaking more slowly,” and “being nicer,” the source continues.

We’d definitely like to watch the de-bitchification process in action. In fact, we’d like to watch that way more than we’d like to watch her talk show. First she gets lost at sea, and now she’d a modern day My Fair Lady? Once again, Bethenny Frankel’s real life proves to be much more interesting than any reality show could ever hope to be. Maybe a network could combine these two concepts and leave her and a niceness coach stranded on a deserted island. Forever.

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Arrested Development Is Back, And We Think We Just Blue Ourselves

The Mr. Manager of Television has heard our prayers, and now is the time to rejoice! We’ve all been hoping that the ground breaking cult classic Arrested Development would take  a trip from the small screen to the silver screen, but we’re about to get more Bluth family updates than we ever dreamed of. It was announced this Sunday at The New Yorker Festival that the show is also set to return to the airwaves for another season! “It’s true. We will do 10 episodes and the movie,” tweeted series hero Jason Bateman. “Probably shoot them all together next summer for a release in early ’13. VERY excited!” All of the original cast is slated to return, including Michael Cera, Will Arnett, Portia De Rossi and David Cross.

Although the show was cancelled  amid much controversy in 2006, the legend (and fan base) of the show has continued to grow ever since. Though nearly all of the cast has gone on to Hollywood mega-fame, devotees of all ages have been clamoring for a reunion of any kind. Yes, Arrested Development is like the Beatles of television sitcoms. There has been talk of a movie for years, but the details always proved impossibly hard to nail down. Series creator Mitch Hurwitz explained that the problems were less about actor involvement, and more about intellectual copyright. “We don’t completely own the property,” he told festival attendees yesterday. “There are business people and studios and that kind of thing.”

But despite the  problems in the business end, Hurwitz says that the juices have been flowing creatively. “I’ve been working on the screenplay for a long time,” he says, “and I found that as time went by there was so much more to the story.” To fill audiences in on what the family has been doing in the five years since we’ve seen them, he aims give each character an episode in which to dive into their backstory. This “limited series” will then lead into the feature film. We’re so excited, we think we just blue ourselves.

[Photo: Fox]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Tupac Shakur Sex Tape Uncovered

Tupac Shakur just can’t get a break lately. Even though he’s been dead for over fifteen years, he’s still making headlines in the most awkward ways possible. First there were those bizarre reports by the rapper’s former bandmates who claim to have smoked his cremated remains in a blunt. Those rumors were furiously denied by his family, but now here’s another moment (and body part) ‘Pac would probably want under wraps.

Apparently a five minute sex tape of featuring Tupuc has surfaced…and it even features an unreleased song! TMZ claims to have seen the film, and it sounds more like a submition to America’s Sleaziest Home Videos. The clip takes place at a house party in 1991, and bald-headed ‘Pac makes his grand entrance into the room shirtless with gold bling chains and his pants around his ankles. At first it seems like he’s doing his drunk Mr. T impression, but the vid quickly takes a turn as he goes over to one of the many groupies in the room. While she begins to perform oral sex on the rapper, he starts to sing and dance one of his own unreleased songs playing on the stereo! Weird, we thought he was more of a Barry White man. TMZ reports that the owner of the tape is taking steps to get it released. Can we just take the lost track, please?

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Crystal Harris Ups Her Skank Cred By Auctioning Engagement Ring From Hef

Here’s one diamond that ain’t forever. TMZ is reporting that Crystal Harris is putting the engagement ring given to her by Hugh Hefner up for auction. This of course follows Crystal breaking up with Hef just days before their wedding, criticizing his bedroom skills in the national press, and generally playing hacky sack with the old man’s heart. So pawning off the ring that he let her keep seems pretty predicable now that we think about it. We’ll be the first to admit that Hugh Hefner isn’t exactly a beacon of fidelity and inter-gender respect, but….damn that’s pretty cold. A source says that the ex-Girl Next Door “couldn’t bear to look at the ring anymore because it brought back bad memories.” Luckily the $23,000-$30,000 that the 3.39 carat rock is expected the fetch at auction should buy enough Cristal to keep those unhappy thoughts at bay.

And hey, speaking of tacky things being put up for auction, the junior-sized Pretty Woman outfit from that infamous episode of Toddlers & Tiaras is being put on the block too. That’s right, the actual outfit that four-year-old Paisley Dickey and her mother Wendy used to creep out the nation can be yours! Even though the winning bidder will almost certainly get their name on some sort of watch list, it’s for a good cause. Wendy Dickey reportedly expresses a desire for the proceeds to go towards the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Wanna hear our wish? It’s for stage moms to stop literally dressing their children up as hookers and pimping them out to reality shows. Just sayin’.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@JordanRuntagh)

Someone Covered Justin Theroux’s Motorcycle With Bologna During The Night

It sounds like a horror story: you wake up one morning, go to your garage, and you find your car completely covered with processed lunch meat. Oh the humanity! We know you’re thinking, “That’s pretty awful, but it’ll never happen to me. I live in a nice vegetarian neighborhood.” But it can happen to you! Just ask Justin Theroux, who discovered that some NYC prankster covered his prized BMW motorcycle with bologna! Oh man…couldn’t they have at least sprung for something quality, like hickory smoked ham?

The malicious meat-ing took place last night as the motorcycle was parked outside BF Jennifer Aniston’s West Village apartment. It was discovered by a neighbor early this morning, who told the New York Post that the bike was covered from seat to handlebars with at least twenty-five slices of “what clearly was bologna.” The bike was reportedly fine otherwise, and had been cleaned and ready to roll by 8 AM. But still, the culprit and motive are both still a mystery. “I got the impression it was some weird message, like, ‘You’re full of bologna,’ ” the neighbor admitted to the Post. No arrests have been made, but police have called Oscar Mayer in for questioning.

[Photo: Splash News Online]