Posts By Saras


CAPTION THIS: Claire Don’t

Claire Danes arrived at a Miu Miu cocktail party in a purple satin number that just isn’t very flattering. It’s wrinkled, too big, and looks like something you’d put on your Strawberry Shortcake doll. It actually reminds me of a hideous dress this mean lady made me wear for the final fashion show at my White Gloves & Party Manners etiquette school. Yes, I attended something called White Gloves & Party Manners. But I was 10, and I had no choice. Claire, however, had a choice.


I have a challenge for you. Fill in the obligatory joke blank!
Claire Danes: MY SO CALLED ______.


This Time, The Real World Is Really F*cking Real

SaraMCKtlyn2.jpgThe Real World: Brooklyn is unlike any other Real World before it. This time, it’s for keeps you guys. Forget the hot tub, the drinking, the wild threesomes, the morons…this time, it’s about finding yourself – and a mouse in your bed. We here at can personally attest to how different this season is going to be. Last week, we had the great honor of visiting the Real World house and meeting the cast members. Though much of the buzz on the internet thus far is about how one of the cast members is transgendered, we found the entire cast to be a varied group of fairly intelligent people with interesting stories – and few of them fit the mold of what the RW has come to be in recent years (though, all of them contain that certain unnameable quality that a person has to have in order to want to be on the show). One thing was clear (as this trailer – WHICH ALMOST MADE ME CRY – will show): this time - it’s really f*cking serious.

The experience of going to the house was fascinating, fun, surreal, and at times terrifying. And guess what! We are going to bring you LOTS of interviews, videos, and pictures in the coming weeks (some of which may show one or more of us topless…stay TUNED!). The show premieres January 7.


While You Were Showing Brangelina Who’s Naked

  • Jennifer Aniston showed her patriotism by wearing nothing but a red, white & blue tie on the cover of GQ. Brad is so not looking.
  • The Gossip Girl spinoff is going to revolve around the story of young Lily and Rufus, so everybody just calm down – nobody is leaving GG. So basically it’s going to be That 90’s Show? I feel old.
  • Ellen Degeneres is the newest easy breezy beautiful CoverGirl. I get it: if you want to not look like a ho and wear makeup that attracts the likes of Portia de Rossi, then CoverGirl is for you.
  • A Chilean cardinal is complaining about Madonna, saying that her concert causes “crazy enthusiasm” and “impure thoughts.” We all know what happens when people get filled with “crazy enthusiasm”!!! (They have sex with the devil.)
  • Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have been approaching all the magazines to try and sell first photos of Bronx Mowgli – but so far, there are no takers, except for Eyeliner Baby, Horrible Baby Names Monthly, and Attention Whore Weekly.


40 Motivational Speeches In 2 Minutes

The title says it all. If you need the power of 40 famous motivational speeches from films, but you’re really strapped for time, this video is for you!

Yet somehow, I feel incredibly lazy after watching that. Matthew, thanks for that.

FULL TRANSCRIPT OF THE SPEECH (which totally makes sense!) AFTER THE JUMP!

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Here’s The Thing About The PETA Naked Ads

Khloe Kardashian decided to make herself slightly more famous (aside from being the sister of someone who is famous for no reason) by posing for one of PETA’s “Go Naked” ads. Here’s my problem with these. Correct me if I’m wrong here, but the idea is that fur is so repulsive, so morally reprehensible, so DISGUSTING, that you would “rather” go naked. That you would be willing to sacrifice your dignity and the right to wear clothes in the name of ethical animal treatment. But this logic totally doesn’t work. Because anyone who would pose nude for anything – CLEARLY HAS NO PROBLEM BEING NAKED. So in the end, their point is totally moot. Of course you’d rather be naked, Khloe. I’d also rather drink Diet Dr. Pepper instead of infant blood. Does that mean I’m pro-life? Not necessarily. (That makes no sense, I know.) What we do know: Khloe would rather go naked than be not-famous.


(Raises fist.) PEEEEETA!


The Best Worst MIDI File. EVER.

81699506b.jpgOur fearless editor Rohit randomly found this MIDI file on the internet, and it is HANDS DOWN one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. It is Bryan Adams “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You,” and it is amazing. I can’t even begin to imagine what went into the making of this track, because it’s just so bad, and so bizarre, that it’s incredible to think that a human had a hand in making this publicly available, much less making it at all. If “fail” had a theme song, this would most definitely be it. You MUST listen to the entire thing, because it just keeps getting better and better.

Bryan Adams “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You”

NOW! SOLDIERS OF THE INTERNET! WE CALL UPON YOU TO MAKE VIDEOS WITH THIS SONG! PWEEEEEEEEEASE! WE WILL POST THEM! Imagine the endless possibilities! Photo montages, video clips…the sky is the limit. Download it here. I have kicked it off with what can easily be described as the worst video ever made, after the jump.

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What In God’s Name Is Tom Cruise Doing On The Hills After Show

First off, let me start by saying that I can’t believe we’ve never fully discussed The Hills: Live After Show. It’s bad enough if you watch The Hills, but The After Show? It makes me want to gag. But I watch it anyway.

I am sure the hosts are lovely people, but it’s just so blechy to watch them try to get the “scoop” from the cast members. Lauren isn’t going to spill her guts about what happened (because it didn’t), and Lo’s not going to reveal juicy details about what’s going to happen (because it hasn’t been written yet). AND…for some unknown reason, the hosts get to go to random press junkets and awkwardly hold up photos of Spencer Pratt to one of the world’s biggest (and most awkward) movie stars?? Here they are, interviewing Tom Cruise about Spencer’s marriage to Heidi:

I think the universe just folded in on itself.


CAPTION THIS: Kiefy Make Daddy So Pwoud

Kiefer Sutherland got his star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame yesterday, and the whole family showed up like it was 5th grade graduation.


We’re proud of you son! You got your gold star! Now smile at your Meemaw!


While You Were Man-Handling Your Twins


  • The first photos of Ricky Martin and his twin sons, Matteo and Valentino, have hit the web. They’re totally like…where are the boobs?
  • The trailer for Powder Blue, otherwise known as the “Jessica Biel stripper movie,” has leaked, and it looks pretty incredibly depressing (each character is shown doing drugs, screaming, crying, trying to commit suicide, rushed to the hospital, etc.). Oh, and you get to see Jessica on the pole a lot.
  • Paula Abdul is feeling really bridge-burny these days and has gone on the radio trashing American Idol producers. For one thing, they let her stalker in to audition even after telling them she was her stalker, which is pretty effed up, but not surprising.
  • Jennifer Aniston has spoken about her admiration for boyfriend John Mayer, saying that his thoughts are beautiful. Just like John thinks Jen’s “eyes” are really “pretty.”
  • This Britney fan video is making the rounds. You’re going to want to watch til the end. Especially helpful if you’re sorely missing a gay today.


Now You Can Have Your Own Robert Pattinson Doll

Reader Steve sent us a link to this eBay auction he found. It is for a custom-made Robert Pattinson Barbie doll! Now we all know I have the hots for Robert. But I have to draw the line somewhere. If you buy this (the starting bid was $79, it’s now up to $130 already!), you’re gross. Because not only is this doll creepy, but we all know what you’re going to do with it once you get it. Oh, and Steve made sure to say “I came across this while looking for other stuff on eBay.” Rrrrriiiiiight. Suuuuuure. Whatever you say, Steve!


Is the Pattinson dolly wearing lipstick? More pics, after the jump.

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