Posts By Saras

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The Top 50 Craziest Paintings Of Animals

These paintings are for sale on eBay. They are from China…and they are f*cking INSANE…I seriously cannot stop staring at them. I can’t decide if I want to hang them on my wall or burn them and bury the ashes as far away as possible. Are these the new dogs-playing-poker paintings? Who IS this artist? What is his or her obsession with monkey teats, asparagus, pickles, cigars, and stately lookin’ cats and dogs? Is he a genius, or a hack? And who are we to decide? What is art? In any case, please, please proceed with caution – I cannot be held liable for any heads exploding from looking at all of these (FYI: if you consider monkey teats NSFW, then this will be NSFW):

 

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Armani Paid Victoria Beckham $17 Million To Act Like A Mannequin

Victoria Beckham’s Armani underwear campaign has launched. She reportedly received $17 million as part of a three-year deal, and here are the first set of shots. She totally looks like a mannequin from that “After Hours” episode of The Twilight Zone where the lady goes up to the 9th floor of the department store, only to realize that she is a mannequin!

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Seriously, check out the rest of the shots, after the jump!

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ICYMI: Dog Pees On The Today Show Floor

During the golden fourth hour of The Today Show yesterday, a dog peed on the floor while the camera was zoomed in on him. Hoda jumps trying to avoid getting pee on her, but Kathie Lee immediately starts scolding the dog in a tone not unlike that of Mommie Dearest.

Apparently this dog’s name is Weeka. Wee-ka. Get it?

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While You Were Making Ryan Seacrest Really Uncomfortable

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  • American Idol premiered last night. The new judge? Sassy. The bad contestants? Not quite as sad as years past. The good contestants? They’ve got potential. Ryan Seacrest? Completely freaked out by a hot chick in a bikini who tried to french him. And a blind guy made it through! Yes!
  • Britney Spears is moving into a new $9 million home because that old $7.1 million dump was “jinxed.” Next step: find new brain to replace that mushy old one.
  • Lil Kim is not happy with the way she is depicted in Notorious, the Biggie biopic. When asked why, she responded: “Not enough nudity.”
  • Amy Winehouse has sworn off drugs but apparently alcohol doesn’t count. Sources at the St. Lucia resort at which she seems to be living say “We keep catching her crawling past bars, or hiding behind chairs. She grabs guests’ drinks and runs off, like a squirrel with a nut.” Hey look, it’s better than being compared to a wet dog with a crack pipe, so I think we’re making progress here.
  • Attention lady nerds: how can we combine our love of video games with our love of the arts thread-and-needle? By making a cross-stitch Zelda map, of course.

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…OF THE DAY

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  • PUN STORES, TORONTO EDITION: Inspired by our very own 50 Best Pun Stores, Torontoist collected more than 60 punny store names that live in their own city. (Torontoist)
  • DO YOU HAVE CHICKEN FINGERS? The best celebrity soundboards on the internet are collected for your enjoyment. Though they did miss my favorite. (Urlesque)
  • AT LEAST THEY DIDN’T NAME HER GIGLI: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have named their new daughter Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck. Meh. Not crazy enough! Come on celebrities! Are you going to let Ashlee Simpson and Lisa Bonet intimidate you? (Just Jared)
  • WHITNEY’S BOOBIES CAME TO PORT: Yesterday, beach pics of Whitney Port playing in the ocean showed a couple of nip slips. And she’s wearing a microphone because she was taping for The City. Oops. Anyway, she explained it all on her blog, blaming the “rough and tumble of the ocean.” No explanation for why she’s famous. (People)
  • YOU’RE NOT HELPING: You know those crazy quiz shows in Europe? Well, apparently the host of one of them flipped out because no one was calling in and she got canned. No word yet if this is fake or not. (Jossip)

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BWE.TV Exclusive: Our Convo With Devyn From The Real World: Brooklyn

devyn_real_world2.jpgEditor’s note: Michelle and Sara had the opportunity to sit down with each of the cast members of the new season of The Real World. Using their signature brand of tag-team tough-question journalism that comes from minutes of experience, the ladies dug deep into the psyches of the cast members. We will be bringing you interviews with each cast member over the coming days! The Real World: Brooklyn airs on Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on MTV. For constant stimulation, you can also check out RealWorldDailies.com.

Aside from the fact that Devyn had an adorable puppy with whom Michelle and I were obsessed, I found her to be quite interesting. She had a lot of opinions about the show, and I was particularly impressed with her brutal honesty about the experience in general. Most people will try and give you some answer about life experience and learning all about yourself etc., but Devon was no holds barred admitting that she was here to get herself a career in entertainment. She also told us about the “murder haven” that is Red Hook.

BWE: First of all, how old are you?

DEVYN: I am 20 years old.

BWE: Are you the youngest in the house?

DEVYN: Indeed I am.

BWE: A baby. What was that like?

DEVYN: I didn’t really feel like the baby 99% of the time. When we went to Atlantic City I was pretty much not allowed to do anything except breathe, which sucked royally, but besides that, I never really felt like a baby.

BWE: Was there a lot of immaturity going down?

DEVYN: Yes.

BWE: By the way just for fair warning, we are very unprofessional. Was there a lot of drama in the house?

DEVYN: Let’s just say we wrapped two weeks early.

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Operation Cry-Town: Asian Girl With Crab Pincher Hands Plays Piano Beautifully For Old White People

pinchercrowd2.JPGIt’s time to take a ride on the sob train folks. Meet Heeah, the 20-year-old woman with a rare condition known as phocomelia, a symptom of which is having only four fingers. Despite her challenges, Heeah can play the piano like an angel. This video is 10 minutes long, but at the very least, please watch the first minute, wherein Heeah plays for a group of old white folk. The narrator claims that the crowd is “moved to tears” and filled with disbelief. But judging from their expressions, they have NO idea what is going on. As for the rest of the video, it’s a pretty incredible story. All I can say is, I feel like a lazy, ungrateful b*tch after watching it.

The best old white people were exactly at the 0:28 mark, but I’ve got a screen grab of them after the jump if you’d like to remember:

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A Night Out With The Puppertons

I have no idea what is going on here, or why one of these dogs is a puppet, but the little dogs know what’s up and they want OUT. Mommy dog is giving them the death stare because they’re just calling more attention to the situation.

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You know, I was just wondering what Kathryn Erbe from Law & Order does on the weekends. Apparently she goes to puppy charity events with Howard Stern’s wife. And plays with a terrifying dog puppet whose frozen expression of cracked out joy gives me the willies.

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My Life Would Suck Without “My Life Would Suck Without You”

Kelly Clarkson’s new single is out! It’s called “My Life Would Suck Without You,” and I can pretty much guarantee that this will be played during future episodes of The City, The Hills, The Real World, Gossip Girl, and your dreams. It’s similar to “Since U Been Gone” in that it has a great big chorus that just explodes and makes you wanna run up and down the hallways of your office, open a window, and throw out a whole ream of paper into the streets below. Ahem. On the other hand, it’s different from “Since U Been Gone” because, instead of talkin’ about how great life is without this guy, it’s talkin’ about how life is just AWFUL without him, or as this youngster puts it, “it sucks.” Love, huh? Such a roller coaster ride!

Take a listen by clicking on this delicious and not at all airbrushed picture of Kelly:

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Sadly, I feel like they used a lot of auto-tune on Kelly’s voice during the verses. Why? Her voice is STUNNING…it does not need computers. Well sh*t.