Posts By Saras

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I Think We’re Reaching Critical Mass With Tool Academy

Every time I think we’ve reached the pinnacle of reality competition shows (That’s Amore, I Love Money, Rock Of Love Tour Bus, Charm School, A Real Chance At Love, A Double Shot At Love, The Money & The Power, From G’s To Gents, Paris Hilton’s My New BFF, and Bromance, to name just a few), a new one comes along that promises to top all the rest. This time, it’s called Tool Academy, and it’s basically a couples counseling retreat for the world’s biggest tw*twaffle boyfriends and the women who insist on standing by them. Videogum has the preview, and it looks pretty amazing:

Basically, they took The Dr. Phil House and filled it with “Vh-someones,” which is the new term I’m using to describe people who are cast on Vh1 reality competition shows. They all have a certain similar quality to them…something I can’t quite put my finger on, so I’ll just use the term Vh-someone instead. The show premieres, and my soul dies a little more, on Sunday at 11 p.m. on Vh1.

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Dude, Calm Down, You’re Not The Famous One

Matthew Broderick and his friend were spotted walking down the street in New York City. And apparently his friend has had it up to HERE with either the paparazzi, Broderick’s insistence on walking a scooter next to him all the time (and never actually riding it), or something off screen that we can’t see (Sarah Jessica Parker).

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Can’t the BFF of a famous dude walk the streets in peace???

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Are You Going To Buy The Sanjaya Album?

Because I most definitely am. Looks like somebody got all inspired by the Saved By The Bell opening credits for their album cover!!!

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The new album comes out on January 20th, and yes, I am typing this outside the Virgin Megastore in Times Square, where I have set up camp so I can be sure to get my copy.

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Sharon Osbourne Is A Lady

Sharon Osbourne, the height of charm and class, hosted this season of Charm School on Vh1, which featured rejected bad girls from Rock Of Love. Now, I’m not sure if you watched it at all (I only did occasionally, for some reason it was always on whenever I flew JetBlue in the past month, and that’s what I would end up watching), but the reunion had an amazing fight break out between Sharon and lover of retarded dogs, Megan. She was wasted, wearing a bikini. Mrs Osbourne tells Megan that she thinks she shouldn’t be allowed to breed, and then Megan comes back with some bleeped out comment about Ozzy…right at the 1:15 mark, and then this starts to get amazing:

At the end in the chaos, you hear Sharon say “You can say whatever about me, I don’t give a sh*t, but NOT my family.” Boom.

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7 Things Less Twee Than Zooey Deschanel And Ben Gibbard’s Engagement

o5e53n.jpgLast week, the news broke that cute actress / indie rock darling Zooey Deschanel got engaged to fellow indie rocker Ben Gibbard. Commence She & Him / Death Cab For Cutie puns! Now I know your heart is absolutely breaking because this means you’ll never have Zooey (or Ben, if you’re into that sort of thing, i.e. wang), but come on. You have to admit. This is pretty adorable news. (And let’s be honest. The reason we will never have Zooey or Ben has nothing to do with whether or not they’re spoken for.) I mean, what could possibly be more twee than these two getting married? Nothing. But here are a few things that come close:

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This Video Of A Dog And Elephant That Are BFFs
(via Buzzfeed)

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Somebody Isn’t A Fan Of Kate Beckinsale

Fresno Beehive found this incredible picture of Kate Beckinsale looking icily stunning on the red carpet. But there’s somebody in the background who is staring DAGGERS of hatred into her back. You’re never going to guess who!

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Find out who wishes death upon Kate, after the jump!

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The Best Joke Of 2009 So Far, Hands Down.

74226754a.jpgHappy New Year everybody! As you are shedding your 2008 husk to reveal the fresher, more supple 2009y you underneath, it’s time to get yourself a new one-liner. You know, that one joke you can pull out at just the right moment: whether it be the 5 minutes before a meeting starts at the office, or on a weekend brunch when you’ve finally got the table’s attention, or during those moments immediately following some intense love-making and you really need to lighten the mood. Usually this one-liner has a shelf life of one year, so it’s important to pick a good one. Well, never fear, because I have the PERFECT joke for you. My sister came up with this a couple of days ago, and I think she’s pretty much got a bright career ahead of her, if you ask me:

Where does the worst band in the world live?

Answer, after the jump!

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SIMI-LEBRITIES: Lord I Was Born A Batali Man

Wow, I came across this picture on Getty and thought that Mario Batali had quit pointlessly riding around the Spanish country side with Gwyneth Paltrow in order to focus on a career in music. But it’s actually Gregg Allman! I had no idea these two were separated at birth. One ended up shaping the musical tastes of many a southern frat boy, and the other ended up wearing orange crocs all the time. But yet…they both share a certain sullen quality only a Batallman can understand.

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Somebody get these guys some pork back fat!