I’ve always thought that the fourth hour of The Today Show is a bit like Michael Keaton’s fourth clone in Multiplicity: a sloppy hot mess that’s just not all there.
This morning there was a perfect example of this: Kathie Lee Gifford modeled for the audience a product that brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “drinking from the devil’s teat.” Take a look!
As expected, douchebaggery of colossal proportions saturated the most desperately pluggy Real World Reunion in history this weekend. The Real World XX: Hollywood cast members gathered round to prove they are stars, not racist, sober, normal and of course, incredibly successful.
I was impressed with Will’s emotionally sophisticated reaction to Janelle’s confrontation (i.e., putting on his sunglasses, making faces, asking her why she wasn’t talking about his album). Janelle claimed she didn’t want to be on camera as she dated Will during the season, even though as she is saying this, she is on camera, which is broadcasting live not only on television, but also into the middle of Times Square on a jumbotron.
But you know, all that sort of faded to the background because I COULDN’T STOP STARING AT THE MOST PATHETIC T-SHIRT OF ALL TIME, which read “HEY AGENTS, I ALSO DJ. DO YOUR JOB.” I…I’m speechless. I don’t think I can even respond to this without writing a full novel, so I’ll just say this. I’m now selling a new line of t-shirts in response to Will’s. Starting with this one:
See my other t-shirts, after the jump!
A week doesn’t go by where I don’t sing this to myself. Seriously.
First, let me begin by saying that on my second day as a 30-year-old, I have officially experienced my first senior moment, when I forgot to bring my pictures from the show with me to work. So (apparently I’m the only one on the internet who loves torture enough to spend the time to get them), instead of all those screen caps I normally provide, I will be using clipart to illustrate last night’s event. Carry on.
Things heated up last night, as The Top 10 – and more importantly, the group of dancers going on tour this fall* – were revealed last night on So You Think You Can Dance. Of course this continues the trend of seeing dancers you like in the bottom 3, but the upside is that we got to see better solo numbers in an otherwise relatively boring results show.
The opening dance number was set to a Ne-Yo song, and incorporated the trend of wearing LED-lit outfits, causing the performers to glow in the dark. Fairly cool, and it totally reminded me of that movie from the 80’s called Special People, wherein this woman runs a black light theatre company for…special people. Anyone remember that besides me?
We also learn early on in the show that the popping battle is ON for the finale! Cat hinted at a behind-the-scenes concern about ratings when she said something about it being the only reason people might watch the finale. Nigel seemed a touch irritated by that and said “Well, they’ll watch the finale because of what the show IS, to find out who won.” YOU IDIOT!
See the results, and more clipart, after the jump!
It’s no secret that I am POWERLESS against the single tear of a salamander…so today, when I randomly clicked on this video…at first, I thought it was a Geico commercial. But I had NO IDEA I WAS ABOUT TO ENTER INTO THE DARK AND DRAMATIC WORLD OF TINY LIZARD LOVE TORN APART BY POWERS GREATER THAN US ALL.
They reach out for each other in their own pools of blood…WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY?????
Some guy who has a LOT of spare time on his hands, and really hates Wal-Mart, made this animated map showing the spread of Wal-Mart stores across America. When I’m watching it, I’m not gonna lie, I get a chill in my bones. When this kind of thing happens in movies, they usually have to make a decision to blow up the nation.
The scary part is, this clearly does not reflect all the stores, because most of the Northeast is empty through at least 2007. He obviously missed a lot – because I know first hand that Virginia DEFINITELY caught the disease long ago. And try not to mess yourself when this “flurry” of dots happens at the very end. According to the map-maker, this indicates stores that have yet to open. (Oh, and push the little red “minus” sign, to see Hawaii and Alaska.)
(Via Eliot on Buzzfeed)
If you’re looking for that extra nudge you need to commence your own impending downward spiral, I recommend spending some time on RealWorldDailies.com. This website includes hundreds of videos of uncut footage from The Real World XX: Hollywood, without censorship or editing. However, if you’re looking to remain mentally alert and heart healthy, we have gathered the best moments found on the site, JUST FOR YOU! In memory of this insane season of The Real World:
5 Things We Discovered On Real World Dailies Dot Com (NSFW)