Last night’s results show for So You Think You Can Dance was nothing short of scandalous. First off, Jordin Sparks‘ bra made a cameo through the second half of her song. Secondly, Nigel admitted to sexually harassing a contestant, and fightin’ words were thrown out to America’s Best Dance Crew.
The show opened with a group dance number that was straight out of Beetlejuice, choreographed by the insane genius, Mia Michaels. The contestants were dressed up as black & white circus clowns / wind-up toys / rag dolls from hell. And guess what, I loved it. The dance was creepy and dramatic. And my main man Mark was the unrelenting, dark ringmaster…OF MY HEART.
Host Cat Deeley is wearing a dress that recalls those little brown cups that hold the candies in a Whitman’s box of chocolates. 
First group out for judgment is Chelsea & Thayne, Katee & Joshua, and Chelsie & Mark. C & T are in the bottom 3 – duh. Mary says she’s not surprised, though taking everything into account, she admitted that the two made a respectable attempt at the extremo difficult Quick Step.
The next three on the chopping block are Kherrington & Switch, Courtney & Gev, and Comfort & Chris. Comfort & Chris, as expected, are in the bottom. Adam makes a good point that, at this level of the competition, you have to realize that nearly everyone going into the bottom three is a real contender.
Finally, it’s down to Kourtni & Matt and Will & Jessica…and it’s Kourtni & Matt! That was a bit of a surprise to me. Nigel then proceeds to give Matt an acting lesson – doing various accents (my favorite: the french) and referencing Michael Caine as someone Matt will never match in acting ability.
Read the rest of the results, after the jump!
Having trouble navigating this politically correct world we live in? Especially when you’re at work and you just REALLY want to make a comment about how big your assistant’s boobs are, but you just don’t know how? 
Sure, a Monet is a Monet, but you don’t have to have 
Crooked pinkies, half-dresses, and hot buns. Last. Night. Was. Awesome. 
BEST OUTFIT AS ARTISTIC AND/OR POLITICAL STATEMENT: Mary’s shirt, though described as a beautiful disco ball, looked more to me like an abstract interpretation of the advancement of women’s rights: her shirt represents the glass ceiling, through which Mary’s head has dramatically busted – bits of glass scattered about in a triumphant splash. 
But don’t blow air
BABY TRACHEOTOMY DANCE
Kanye is MAD, you guys. This is no joke – we’ve insulted him with our complaining, and now we’ve awakened the beast of rage within him. He’s written a speech on his blog that makes Braveheart‘s pre-war speech sound like a goddamn nursery rhyme:
What will happen? A teddy bear wearing sunglasses will appear and slit your throat, that’s what.
John McCain was sporting a bandage on his head yesterday – and everyone freaked thinking he might have skin cancer again. Turns out he just 
