Shaq’s rap is going to cost him his special deputy’s badge in Arizona! Despite the fact that a special deputy’s badge is the equivalent of a flight attendant giving a child “honorary pilot wings” on an airplane, this must be a pretty tough blow for Shaq.
The most shocking part of the decision, handed down by Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, is the reasoning behind it. Arpaio states (perhaps to prove he doesn’t give celebrities like Shaq special treatment) that he wouldn’t tolerate this behavior from any of his deputies: “I don’t condone this type of racial conduct.”
I went back and watched the rap and tried to figure out what part of it was “racial.” Some ideas:
The obvious: Ass-tasting. Nothing screams “race” like tasting butt.
The subtle: Being really tall, and free-styling next to a presumably average-sized man, thereby making the average-sized man look like a mini-me sidekick, is totally racial.
The bigger picture: Did he mean that rapping in general is “racial conduct”? People smarter than me are telling me that’s what he means. So…based on that reasoning, if one of Arpaio’s cops ever spoke words that rhymed, technically, they could get fired?
I can’t say I’m surprised to find this sort of insane logic from Arpaio:
Arpaio, who describes himself as “America’s Toughest Sheriff” and is best known for feeding jail inmates green bologna, clothing them in pink underwear, and making them work on chain gangs, said he didn’t expect his actions would teach Shaq a lesson.
Perhaps Shaq is better off not working for this nutball, fake job or not!