Oh Bronx. I’m so so so sorry about this. Your daddy told Sirius radio’s “Monday Mash Up” show that your mom’s breast milk tastes “weird” and “soury.” I know. That means Pete Wentz has been drinking Ashlee Simpson’s breast milk – and is telling people about it. It seems that Pete has had a touch of the di-di of the mouth as of late on the radio. Between this and his detailed description of what it’s like to bang his wife, I think someone needs to remind Pete that the internet listens to the radio. Because it will only be a matter of time before the kids at school google this crap and start with the “Breast Milky Wentz” nicknames and the “Bronx’s dad likes to drink from his mom’s boobs!” chants.
Bronx, when you reach the age of 16, give me a call. I’ll come over, we’ll talk, you’ll cry teenage man-boy tears, and then we’ll hug while I repeatedly tell you “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.”
Ladies and gentlemen! As previously mentioned, we here at Bestweekever.tv were given an exclusive inside look at The Real World: Brooklyn house. Since we knew you’d never believe us, we brought a video camera along for the ride. Here is your first INSIDE look at the house – brought to you by your very favorite bloggers in the world! And me! (Language NSFW)
Do not forget, the new season premieres on MTV, January 7, at 10 p.m.! If you can’t wait until then (and if seeing Dan and I topless wasn’t enough), you can check out clips on RealWorldDailies.com which launches on January 2 and will include all sorts of debaucherous footage throughout the season. Also, there is a Real World Secrets: Revealed special airing on January 4, which I’m sure will reveal some of the behind-the-scenes scandals you’re just dying to know about (do you think they discovered that I’m the one who broke the pool table in half?).
I wasn’t able to post this yesterday because I spent most of the day crying and vomiting over this horrific tragedy. What hath the barber shop wrought??? Someone got a haircut, and now the very foundation of hotness has been shaken. Find out who has ripped my heart out with his foolish buzzcutting ways, after the jump. The question is: is he still hot?
Prepare for your fantasies to die…
If you tried desperately to learn Ani Difranco songs on the guitar in high school, had your heart broken at an Indigo Girls concert, or ever wrote a paper in college about the “male gaze”, you are probably going to love this music video by girl-rock activist/poet Leibya Rogers. On the other hand, if you are currently wearing a Lilith Fair t-shirt, and have absolutely no sense of humor about your extremely important vegan diet, then you actually might not find this video funny at all (because you are a dillweed). If you’re somewhere in the middle on that spectrum, please, prepare to have your life changed.* You’re welcome. (Language slightly NSFW.)
*Full disclosure: I totally tried to learn Ani Difranco songs in high school, had my heart broken at an Indigo Girls concert, and wrote a paper on the “male gaze.” I also directed, shot, and edited the above video. It was awesome to work with Mindy Raf (you may remember her from Best Night Ever), who created Leibya to speak to the inner tofu in all of us.
Here’s a picture of Ludacris bringing some holiday cheer to some New York City kids. Do you notice anything about the kids? The ones farthest away from him seem to get exponentially sadder:
If you don’t see it, I’ve created a handy chart to measure the sadness-to-Ludacris-proximity ratio, after the jump:
This video has been making the rounds today, and as Lindsay at Videogum told me, “it’s not okay in any context.” Seriously. What. The. HELL is going on here. The category on YouTube is listed as “comedy,” but my senses are telling me there is something far darker at work here. Or maybe it’s just a furry thing that my non-furry brain cannot understand? Either way…someone PLEASE PLEASE help Cheetah Lady find a condominium!
And a phone. More please?
Last night, I stumbled upon these pictures of a German rap group called Deichkind recently performing in Berlin (never you mind how I found them). Their concert looks like a combo of Cirque Du Soleil, Sprocket, GWAR, and an experimental theatre group I saw in New Orleans one time. In other words, it’s simultaneously creepy, amazing, terrifying, and delightful. I’d never heard of Deichkind before. Apparently they’re pretty big over in Germany, and have developed a new sound called “Tech-Rap” which is Techno + Rap. How wonderfully efficient and German of them! Here are some of the pictures, and I’ve also found a couple of their videos (cuh-razy-town). I can’t decide if I love them simply because rapping in German sounds hilarious, or if their awesomeness transcends the language barriers altogether.
More pictures and a totally insane video, after the jump:
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE DUGGAR FAMILY! Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar have welcomed their 18th child, Jordyn-Grace, into their home/compound! Mrs. Duggar, I have to hand it to you. Even though you delivered little Jordyn-Grace via C-section, your vagina must be incredible to have made it this far. To even be able to keep the baby inside you this whole time is a wonder in itself. And, because your champion of a husband finds pregnant women attractive, your hoo-ha is getting a workout pretty much every day of your adult life! Seriously, your cooter deserves some sort of lifetime achievement award. Your lady parts have gone ABOVE AND BEYOND the call of duty. So on that note, I now present
5 Things Slightly Bigger Than Mrs. Duggar’s Hoo-Ha.
Director JJ Abrams and Tom Cruise pal around at the the premiere of Valkyrie.
Enough with the finger-pointing you guys – we haven’t even seen the movie yet!
Description of Fatal Attraction: A married man’s one night stand comes back to haunt him when that lover begins to stalk him and his family. Description of Beyonce’s new movie Obsessed: A married man’s one night stand comes back to haunt him when that lover begins to stalk him and his family. (Okay, so IMDB has a slightly different description for Beyonce’s film. But still, after watching this trailer, you’ll realize that they are pretty much the same.) I’m SO hoping that Beyonce finds her pet rabbit boiling on the kitchen stove!
BEYONCE’S GONNA SHOW YOU CRAZY! Just goes to show you, even if you put a ring on it, it doesn’t guarantee you won’t have your life destroyed by a psycho.