Posts By Saras

Pete Wentz today told Howard Stern all about his “amazing” sex life with Ashlee Simpson. Here’s how he described their first time:

“It was at the Soho Grand Hotel [in New York City], and I’m looking in the mirrors, [thinking], ‘Oh my God, you are [sleeping with] the girl of your dreams, and you can watch yourself!’”

Okay. So imagine you’re a tiny baby named Bronx Mowgli. It’s bad enough that your parents are Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson. And that they gave you this name. But imagine that moment – perhaps it will be when you’re 15, 16, 17 years old – when you fully realize WHO your parents are. Maybe one of your school friends sits you down in front of the internet and says, “dude, there’s something I need to show you.” 7 hours later, you’ve seen it all – the pictures, the videos, the songs, the interviews – and then it hits you: “I’m Bronx Mowgli Wentz.” The next ten years will undoubtedly be horrible – but eventually, you’ll rise from the ashes with a Zach-Braffy type movie about disentangling yourself from the sh*t-colored shadow left upon you by your parents. In the meantime, hang in there little buddy. We’re rooting for you!!

There’s a new show coming to Italian television, and it’s called Dr. Clown. I haven’t been able to find anything about this on the internet, other than an almost empty IMDB page, but judging by this picture, it looks like it’s going to be AWESOME:

What do you think this show is about? Is it the Italian Grey’s Anatomy? Or a serialized version of Patch Adams? Is the guy in the middle like Dr. House?

Santa had an AWESOME day yesterday at a press event for some random skank’s lingerie line. This lady’s name is Nicola McLean, and she’s from Scotland!

The lingerie collection is called “Ultimo.” I’m not sure what makes Ultimo special, but I think I have a hunch…find out what it is, after the jump.

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Today, the internet has been ablaze with the video showing an Iraqi reporter throwing two shoes at President Bush. Bush adeptly dodges the shoes – giving us what might possibly be the last Bush meme of his 8 year reign of meme terror. And yes, this time, it’s mostly in the form of animated gifs. (Though, Jon Friedman’s commentary over at the HuffPo sums up my thoughts on the incident perfectly in word form.)

Let’s take a look at some of the best I’ve seen so far:

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Looooooooook!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s a Pomeranian wearing a kimono! And her hair is cut in a perfect round shape! I don’t think I could draw a circle that perfect using a compass.

Madame Butterpup is forever waiting for her Officer Pinkerpup to return. Oh how I hope this doesn’t end the way the opera does!!!

Does anyone remember Lady Sovereign, the spunky little British girl rapper with an attitude, responsible for this hit? No? Okay, well I do. More on that later. But first, here is her new music video for “I Got You Dancing”, which is pretty ridiculous. I think her reputation for being a nightmare may have caused some cuts in her music video budget, because this is the type of video a post-apocalyptic Brownie troop would make (and, as mentioned in the comments, a tribute to The Warriors). In some scenes, the S.O.V. is dressed like a zombie breakdancer or a broke-down Pocahontas, and, in others, she has 80′s Jennifer Grey hair…borderline 90′s soccer mom hair. The song itself is a saggy, old version of the Lady Sovereign sound, but this time employing an innovative technology called “auto-tune.”

She REALLY wants us to know she’s British. “I gawht you dawncing gawht you duh-duh-dooyin it.” Personal anecdote: Lady Sovereign was the first “star” I was supposed to interview for my gig back at AOL.

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Today in The Speidi Chronicles, I bring you both a new set of amazing photographs wherein Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag tell Santa what they want for Christmas (more publicity), AND, later, an absolutely terrifying video of the couple, in their hotel room, on the morning after their wedding. Proceed with caution!

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