Posts By Kate Spencer

by (@katespencer)

Meet Brody Jenner’s Latest Conquest: Playmate Of The Year Jayde Nicole

What do you think, is Jayde Nicole a step up from Kristen Cavallari, Nicole Richie and Lauren Conrad?

Amazingly, hot women seem to be attracted to the douchebag factory that is Brody Jenner. We’ve never quite understood what is so attractive about a dude who loves throwing down peace signs, tattooing his name on his body, and Spencer Pratt – but chicks seem to dig it. But his latest lady is of a respectable pedigree – Playboy! She’s not just any old Playmate, she’s the Playmate of the Year 2008. Doesn’t she seem to be a little too good for a dude about to star in a show called Bromance?

On second thought – she apparently has the word “respect” tattooed right above her vadge. Sounds like a perfect match!

[Photos: Getty Images, FilmMagic]

by (@katespencer)

Eva Longoria: “I’m Just Fat!”

Scandalist to Eva Longoria: “Shut the f*ck up.”

I’m just fat” is the Desperate Housewives star’s answer when asked by Us magazine if she was pregnant. Sigh. Let’s clear the air on a couple of things here:

  1. Eva is not fat, and judging from what we’ve seen so far, never will be.
  2. She is married to a 6 foot 2 inch tall basketball player, and is a foot shorter than her man. We’ll know when she’s lugging a baby around in there.
  3. The actress would not know fat if it put her in a sandwich and ate her for lunch. She should keep her mouth shut – except when she’s eating, of course.

[Photos: Getty Images]

by (@katespencer)

Lauren Conrad To Write Most Boring Books Ever

Thought your brain couldn’t get any mushier? Think again. Lauren Conrad – she of the blank stare and the solid track record of losing friends – has signed on to “write” three books that are basically just about her blessed existence in Hollywood. “It’s definitely influenced by my own life,” she told People. “The books are about a girl who moves to L.A. and stars in a reality show, so obviously there are some similarities.”

Some? It’s The Hills for book nerds (do these exist anymore?). Lauren promises that people from her real life will not be mocked or mirrored in the series, claiming, “Some of the characters may symbolize people in my life, but it is in no way calling anyone out.” That asshole character named Fencer is purely crafted from the empty, dark cavern that is Lauren’s imagination.

Confidential to Lauren: You can’t write this book on your Blackberry, FYI. You need to use something called a computer. Yes! It’s the big, white thing you sat in front of at the Teen Vogue office for three years. [People. Photo: Getty Images]

by (@katespencer)

An Alba Grows in Brooklyn

Well look what we have here. Jessica Alba was spotted yesterday apartment shopping in Brooklyn while awkwardly holding her baby at the same time! Celebs are so good at multitasking. She even dragged a bodyguard around with her the whole time, as Jess apparently has not yet learned that Brooklynites don’t give a crap about stars shacking up in their cozy hoods. Just ask Michelle Williams – she’s got an Oscar nod and cute kid, yet we all act like she’s not even there. That’s the New York way.

Curbed reported back in June, 2007 that Alba was checking out a building on the Lower East Side of Manhattan (where Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson bump uglies when they’re in town). Interestingly enough, that same company now has a new development in Park Slope, Brooklyn – is this the spot Jess was checking out?

Token “stars, they want to be just like us” momentJessica took the subway to Brooklyn.

[Photos: Splash News Online]

by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: Brit’s Weave Is In Vogue

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson are supposedly making plans to be the next Ellen and Portia.  [Seriously? OMG!]

Britney Spears did a photoshoot for Vogue. She’d like to thank her kids, fans and God for making it all happen. [DListed]

Our friends at Best Week Ever introduce the world to its worst invention yet: high heels for babies. Ohhhh snap (goes their tiny ankles). []

Sassy Matt Damon straight up hates Sarah Palin. We can’t wait to hear what he says when Ben Affleck runs for President.  [PopCrunch]

Kirsten Dunst is on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar looking fiercer than Tyra.  [I’mNotObsessed]

by (@katespencer)

It’s Official: Lindsay Lohan is Too Skinny Again

See? Here’s LiLo at the VMAs on Sunday. Sam Ronson‘s waif ways are rubbing off on her. If only her mom wasn’t so busy ruining her other kids and getting spray tanned – she could set Linds straight on the whole sin and bones thing. (We meant to write “skin and bones” here, but “sin and bones” almost seems more fitting. It stays!)

[Photos: Getty Images]

by (@katespencer)

Sarah Palin Rumor Of The Day: Her Son, The OxyContin Addict?

Say what you will about his mom, but Track Palin (seen above with siblings Willow and Trig) is a straight up hunk of moose meat. Also, his name is Track. Track! It’s so absurd it’s sexy. But the nineteen-year old (eek, we’re creepy) is being accused by the dirt-diggers at the National Enquirer of having a two-year long love affair with OxyContin. They’ve even got a source who says, “I’ve partied with him (Track) for years. I’ve seen him snort cocaine, snort and smoke OxyContin, drink booze and smoke weed.”

They also point the finger at Sarah Palin‘s pregnant daughter Bristol, with another Alaskan spy alleging, “Bristol was a huge stoner and drinker. I’ve seen her smoke pot and get drunk and make out with so many guys. All the guys would brag that they just made out with Bristol.”

Sexy! Slutty! Scandalous! Alaskan! But is it true? [National Enquirer. Photo: Getty Images]

by (@katespencer)

Anne Moves On As Her Ex Pleads Guilty

Anne Hathaway‘s Italian stallion-turned felon Raffaello Follieri plead guilty in court today to wire fraud, money laundering, conspiracy and general douchebaggery. He’s now stuck with a max of five years and three months in jail, where he’ll surely watch his beloved Anne date the best of Hollywood’s dude D List from behind bars. There’s nothing worse than watching your girl make out with Justin Long while hammering out some license plates. Weep.

Anne has been busy moving on via the old Hollywood 1-2 punch: spill your guts in a cheesy interview and then get snapped by the paparazzi out with a dude who is probably just a friend. She told W magazine, “As soon as I found out about the arrest, I had to get on a plane to Mexico to do a press tour for Get Smart. And then I spent a week in shock at a friend’s house.” This week, we caught her out in NYC dressed down and hanging with some guy. New boyfriend? Probably not – but it’s fun to make the ex squirm, right? [People. Photo: Splash News Online]

by (@katespencer)

Jessica Simpson: Frumpy Outfits, Fugly Faces

Jessica Simpson showed up to perform on Good Morning America yesterday (pictured, left) dressed like a QVC host who makes a living hawking porcelain dolls to grandmothers in Arkansas. Technical difficulties (besides her voice) plagued the performance, causing her to stick her tongue out as if she were licking an invisible ice cream cone (or something else we’re too classy to reference).

Over the past few weeks, Jessica’s been out and about contorting her face while flaunting a wardrobe that’s straight off the Fashion Barn sale rack. Check her out below screeching in concert in a eyelet lace corset, flannel and chunk bejeweled belt. It’s a look best left to the Warrant groupies of yesteryear, but Jess can’t control herself (or her tongue). It’s not that we want to admire Ashlee as the best-dressed Simpson, but Jessica is leaving us no choice.

Proof below.

[Photos: Getty Images]

by (@katespencer)

Alba’s Baby Just As Cranky As Her Mama

Little Honor Warren has already perfected her pissed off face – by mirroring her mom! But even her disgruntled pout can’t stop this mother-daughter team from being totally adorable. Honor ups Jessica Alba‘s likability by 81903892% – Jessica looks better simply by having that kid around her neck. If only she had been around to improve those Fantastic Four movies. [Photos: Splash News Online]