Dear John Mayer and other men with tattoo sleeves,
Here’s a tip from your female friends at Scandalist – after dumping us, please just go quietly into the night. Speaking out in our favor only makes us look kinda pathetic. We know you think it’s all noble to speak kindly of us ladies post-break up, but we all know it’s just to make you feel better about dumping us (most likely because you realized it’s more fun banging carefree 21-year olds than cuddling with us older ladies and discussing kids). Frankly, we do not need your pity, thank you very much. In case you forgot, chicks like Jennifer Aniston are richer than you and can buy all the pity they need, plus a Birkin bag or two to replace you.
Here’s the dumb crap Mayer had to say about his ex Aniston this weekend – to the paparazzi of all people:
“If you guys are going to run stuff and run every lie under the sun, have somebody stand up for somebody. Have me as a man who ended a relationship stand here and write some truth. Have me stand up for somebody and write that Jennifer Aniston is the smartest, most sophisticated person I think I’ve ever met. She’s one of the most lovely people I’ve ever met in my life and I’m going through something that’s a very personal thing and you have to give that up. You have to give everything up because you can’t have it all and it sucks. I’m sorry that the story’s not interesting. But it’s about time that somebody stands up for that girl and I think she’s great.”
American gymnast Nastia Liukin shows off one of her gold medal winning moves last night in Beijing, China. [Photo: Getty Image]
Tomorrow, August 16th, is Madonna‘s birthday, and the queen of pop and pointy bras is turning the big 5-0 in people years. But don’t let that fool you! Madge and her BFFs the high priests of Kaballah have supposedly determined that her spiritual age is just 36! Of course this means all gifts of t-shirts that read: “50 and over the hill” will absolutely not be accepted. Hope you kept those gift receipts. [Mirror]
[Photo: Getty Images]
American actress LisaRaye and her husband, Turks and Caicos prime minister Michael Misick have been having some problems as of late. Misick was accused of raping a woman in April of this year and soon after their two year marriage was rumored to be on the rocks, after Misick was spotted with BET veejay Rosci, who supposedly entertained girlfriends at his (and LisaRaye’s) house. On Wednesday, the prime minister officially announced that he and LisaRaye were separated and he is pursuing a divorce. Fairly standard scandal fare, but it gets better! Last night LisaRaye allegedly went to their house and a major confrontation ensued. By the end of the night, they were each at separate hospitals on the island, both being treated for bite wounds. They bit each other. Adults. With their teeth. And then of course, they released statements:
- Michael says: “LisaRaye, her cousin Phillip Travis, and her publicist, Lynn Jetter, assaulted the guard at the premier’s home, proceeded to ransack the house, and then assaulted the premier and his sister. The premier at no time had any physical contact with LisaRaye.”
- LisaRaye says, “An attempt was made by and on behalf of my husband to first prevent my entry into our home and then, later, to make me leave our home by force. I shall continue to assist the police force with its inquiries.” [NYDN]
[Photo: Getty Images]
Every gymnast – with their hair scrunchies and tiny, compact bodies – looks like a little kid, but some on the Chinese team might actually be just hitting puberty. Buzz is brewing that three members of the gold medal-winning group might be under the age of sixteen – the cutoff for gymnasts in the Olympics. Jiang Yuyuan, Yang Yilin and He Kexin are all currently under scrutiny in the press, and The Huffington Post has published documents seem to show at least one of them, He Kexin, is just fourteen years old. But what we here at Scandalist want to know is: Do you really need documents to determine that these kids are under sixteen? The girls as basically flaunting the proof. Let’s run it down for you:
- Sparkly, star-shaped hair clips.
- Candy-colored blue and pink eye shadow.
- Sparkly hair spray coating their tiny heads.
- In conclusion: sparkles.
Don’t believe us? Pour over the pics below. They’re babies, we tell you. Babies! Babies draped in gold medals!
[Photos: Getty Images]
Hollywood’s skankiest came out last night for the opening of the new Apple Lounge, and the lady-on-lady couplings were in full effect. Scandalist fave Lindsay Lohan cropped topped her way on the red carpet to join Samantha Ronson, while camera-hog Tila Tequila showed up with her current gal pal and LiLo ex, Courtenay Semel. We’ve got both of the penis-free pairs below – feel free to pick a favorite to obsess over. (Are crop tops going to be a trend? Someone let us know so we can order an ab buster to hide in our closet.)
[Photos: Getty, WireImage]
Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi are walking down the aisle this weekend to become wife and wife, so run out and overnight those toaster-ovens to LA! The super-couple have been dating since 2004, and announced their plans to wed soon after marriage became legal for gay couples in California this years. Hurray for laws! Ellen said of her future wife, “She’s taught me lessons about myself, and I feel like I’ve taught her.”
Awwwww-dorable. There’s no word on if one of the brides will take the other’s last name; our preference would be some sort of hybrid, like Ellen and Portia DeDe Generossi. We’re totally cool with them stealing that one from us. [Us]
Currently, the most important man in America is not Barack Obama, John McCain or Spencer Pratt – it is Michael Phelps, the beefy Olympic swimmer with giant ears that rival only his shoulder muscles in size. The entire country has tuned in to watch him pocket gold medals in Beijing, and his talent is obviously undeniable. Not to mention, he’s kinda hot in that attainable famous dude, sorta way. But is he also a pro at hurling ping pong balls into cups of keg beer? We came across this pic on a blog today that supposedly captures Phelps getting ready to conquer a serious round of beer pong. Not that he’s not allowed – the dude is 23-years old, and he already has a DUI under his belt that resulted in 18 months probation when he was 19-years old. It’s nice to know that Phelps may be involved in something even wilder than shaving all his body hair.
The pic has since been taken down, but we got it above. Does that look like the gold medal champ to you?