Usher has gone crawling back to his mama like the baby that he is. The singer, who was last heard cooing about banging us in a club, has booted celeb manager Benny Medina and rehired his mother Jonnetta Patton, who helped her son sell 1.1 million copies of his album Confessions in its first week. His latest album only clocked in at a measly 433,000 sold in that seven day period, so clearly the ax needed to fall. Usher gave some creepy comment when interviewed in the July issue of Vibe, telling the mag, “I decided to not fire, not get rid of, but to give [my mother] the ultimate compliment — to retire her to be a full-time grandmother.”
Clearly words of appeasement to calm his crazy wife, who allegedly loathes Mama Usher. But his rep gave the word that Jonnetta’s officially been rehired, which can only mean one thing – mom is always right. [Us]
Good news! Inexplicable celebrity and distracted driver Shia LaBeouf is not going to lose his pinky finger, which was rumored to be the case yesterday. Yes, he totally destroyed his hand in that car accident last month, when he rolled his car (with his co-star in the passenger seat) and was charged with a DUI, but The Beef got lucky this time. His pinky will stay put. His career? Now that could still get killed off. [E!]
Dark Knight star and recent car accident survivor Morgan Freeman is currently divorcing his wife of 24 years, Myrna Colley-Lee. The pair actually separated in December 2007, but had not gone public with the break-up until now. Freeman is currently hospitalized for the broken arm and elbow he sustained in his crash. This is just the most recent addition to a growing list of unfortunate events (like, uh, Heath Ledger‘s death and Christian Bale‘s verbal smackdown) that’s currently trailing the Batman flick. While some may chalk it up to a “curse,” we’d beg to differ, and not just because we’re from Boston where “curse” is the second word babies learn after Bambino. The simple truth: bad sh*t happens to everyone, even people with lots of money. In fact, it happens all the time. (See: Britney Spears. Also: all of Hollywood.)
Our theory – Freeman’s wife got sick of watching her hubby waste his talent on cop movies with Ashley Judd. That’d drive any reasonable human to divorce. [Us. Image: Getty]
Residents of Lauren Conrad‘s tony Los Angeles neighborhood are like, dunzo with the Hills star, accusing her of bringing drama to their hood that doesn’t involve Audrina f*cking an illiterate hairdresser. A herd of paparazzi, partying pals, and stalking fans hungry for Lauren and her followers have infested the nabe, and residents are starting to get a little pissed off. Complaints range from the legitimately scary: “several paparazzi began fighting and one pulled a knife on the other one,” to the whiniest bullsh*t this side of the ferry to Martha’s Vineyard: ” Lights are left on in there 24/7, so you wonder if anyone is sleeping.”
There’s nothing quite like rich people complaining about stuff. About thirty neighbors signed a petition insisting that the city revoke The Hills filming permit and in it, “complained that the show’s production workers served food to the paparazzi and placed a port-a-potty in front of Conrad’s house for their use.” Sounds like they should stop their whining and stock up on the free bagels. [LA Times. Image: Splash News]
Scarlett Johansson has opened her mouth again, and thankfully this time it’s not to sing. Woody’s muse is speaking out against the media’s recent obsession with her emails to Barack Obama, and their frenzied reaction and exaggeration of their e-lationship. And she makes a good point, one that the candiate she chose not to support may agree with. “It seemed to me to be like a product of extreme sexism,” ScarJo said, “and I kept thinking to myself, ‘God, if this was just, like, Kal Penn or George Clooney or any of the other [Obama] surrogates or supporters … there wouldn’t be [any] question about it. Nobody would even talk about it.”
To clarify, if George Clooney was sending Barack Obama adoring emails, we’d be the first to gush about it and blow the notes significance way out of proportion. But yes, ScarJo’s got a point. No one’s ever accused Ben Affleck of trying to bone all the politicians he drools over. Sadly, the media’s obsession with a hot chick emailing a politician got in the way of them actually covering the unique thing she’s accomplished – being a politically active young person. Besides, everyone knows she’s into Penelope Cruz anyway. [ET]
Check out photos of Scarlett and Penelope at the Los Angeles premiere of Woody Allen‘s Vicky Cristina Barcelona.
Porn master and plastic skeleton Jenna Jameson is knocked up with her first kid. The proud papa is Tito Ortiz, who does that freaky Ultimate Fighting crap. “She’s completely thrilled, this is something she’s wanted for a very long time,” says a pal of the porn princess. Jameson has miscarried with her ex-husband, and failed at in vitro fertilization, so she must be overjoyed. And hey, so are we! This kid is either going to kick ass or flaunt it, sealing it’s destiny as an American legend before it’s even born. Congrats guys! [NYP]
Here’s an idea, world – maybe Jennifer Aniston is happy being single. Did anyone ever think about that? Maybe she enjoys just dating a hot 29-year old with tattoo sleeves, kicking him out of her bed whenever she wants so she can enjoy sleeping alone in her clean sheets. Perhaps she is perfectly content running out to do yoga in the morning, without having to drag her bratty kids to preschool beforehand. What the hell is so wrong with that?
But, blah blah blah, she’s allegedly obsessed with getting married, because we’re obsessed with her getting married. The country has become a pair of whiny old people and Jennifer Aniston is our single granddaughter who we so desperately want to wed off. But hey, she might be doing it with John Mayer, in a relaxed, backyard celebration! Courtney and CoCo Cox will be her wedding party, and everything will be perfect. We couldn’t be more excited – or relieved. [Ok!]
We had all but forgotten about Paris Hilton – her BFF’s gone off and had a baby, she’s dating a dude with zero Greek ancestry/inheritance and we now get our skin fix from Miley Cyrus. But just when we were about to count her out, she goes and does something kinda awesome. After being called out in a John McCain ad as a “celebrity,” Paris bites back with the help of the Funny Or Die dudes and actually demonstrates that she may just have a sense of humor about the whole thing. And you know what that means – good PR for her. I guess we do still care about Paris after all.