Reports UK Metro
Miljenko Parserisas Bukovic, a 56-year-old newspaper seller from Mexico, revealed his inked artwork in a photo shoot in Valparaiso city. He has so far spent a million Mexican pesos (just over £51,000) for the 82 tattoos. The newspaper vendor’s obsession with tattoos of Roberts started after he watched her in Erin Brockovich.
There are several perks to being one of the most (the most?) famous movie stars in the world. You’re fabulously wealthy, you’re friends with Tom Hanks and you got to be in the “Big mistake, HUGE” scene in Pretty Woman. And, of course, there’s the adulation. That must be nice. Until some dude tattoos your face 82 times and counting on his body. That could maybe freak someone out. Specifically, Julia Roberts. He’s like The Illustrated Man, except instead of cool Ray Bradbury stories, at night his body comes alive with Julia Roberts films. That is some hit or miss viewing. Anyway, I applaud anyone who commits to anything, but one million pesos is so many pesos and 82 tattoos is so many tattoos in and of itself. I only have, like, five tattoos of Tim Curry’s face on my body.
More tatt shots after the jump:
Whilst watching this, I felt similarly to how I feel when I ride a train: comfortable, sleepy, slightly drunk. I do love trains. I do! There’s something old-timey and relaxing about them. You watch the landscape pass, you can drink wine (or beer if you’re heading into The City to that DMB concert at MSG-high five, brah!) and sometimes they sell peanut M&M’s. They’re only annoying when there’s a teenager on his iPad device playing a video contest too loudly or it’s Thanksgiving and you’re just praying that you get a seat/don’t run into your arch nemesis/nemesi from high school. Other than that, I prefer the train over all over forms of public transport and sometimes more than a car. Exactly what these Mad Mens are saying:
“Have you ever driven a car? They’re not that complicated.”
“They look complicated.”
“Well they’re not.”
Funny Or Die
Raceharmony.com is a new friend making website launched by Johnny Walker (no relation*) and Pedro Hernandez. It’s aimed at helping people of different races befriend each other. Like eHarmony but for friends. Who don’t look like you. They also have several different shows in production, including this one, called Goldfish Swap. What happens when a family from the suburbs and a family from the inner city swap goldfishes???
It is, of course, a joke. All of it. So peruse the site, have a laugh, then think about the issue of race in America and then stop laughing and then watch Goldfish Swap again and be like, “Wait, is that racist-am I racist-sh*t, I need a more diverse set of friends who can tell me these things” and get OUT there! White people will be at the country club/Tea Party rallies, black people will be in the inner city/White House, Asians will be in the laundromats/The Black Eyed Peas and Latinos will be at the bodegas/judging American Idol, just to give you a running start. OH NO WAS THAT RACIST????
*Actually, he’s my brother. Nepotism. Deal with it. Clearly I’m drunk with the power of being a part time blogger.
This is the music video for “Conversation 16″ by The National. It’s directed by comedy writer and all around good guy Scott Jacobson, and it stars Mad Men‘s John Slattery and the brilliant comedian Kristen Schaal who you’ve seen in everything from The Daily Show to Flight of the Conchords.
We need to see more female comedian presidents. USA! USA!
Zach Galifianakis is hosting SNL this week, with musical guest Jessie J. It’s just as well that he’s not teamed up with The Strokes, I might have exploded. And no one wants me to spontaneously combust, no matter how cool it would seem at the time, at least from a scientific point of view. Anyway, here are the promos:
Not for nothing, my friend Jessie Cantrell and I have a “got your nose” bit. I’m sure everyone has their own “got your nose” bit, but ours goes thusly:
Jess: (Playfully) Got your nose!
Sarah takes out a knife and cuts off Jess’ nose
Sarah: NOW I HAVE YOUR NOSE!!!
Maniacal laughter from Sarah, blood spurts from Jess’ face.
We do that bit allllllllllllllllllll the time.
The Fast and the Furious franchise found a way to keep the alliteration alive with Fast Five. And now they’re in Rio! In it, George Clooney and Brad Pitt lead a gang of master criminals in an elaborate heist to knock off a-oh, wait. No, what happens is Paul Walker and Vin Diesel go on a roadtrip where they learn a lot about themselves, life and love and then drive a car off a cliff. Wait, that’s not it either. Just watch:
I realize I forgot to mention Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s torrid love affair with Vin, culminating in The Rock stealing Vin’s wallet. Not cool, The Rock.
And by “best” I mean if you have better ones, which you surely do, post them in the comments.
1. Bette Midler
2. Gavin “Strong Hand Placement Decision” Rossdale
3. Gary “America” Sinise
This next one is NSFW.
Not to be all “Who the f*ck is Arcade Fire” on Waka Flocka Flame, but who the f*ck is Waka Flocka Flame? Don’t answer that. I’ll turn to my Google device. But for now, I know that he is the star of the least appealing PETA ad I’ve seen to date. FAMILY JEWELS INDEED.
So, according to Mr. Flame, I either wear a mink or tattoo my entire body? F*ck. This is a tough one. I’ll have to think abou-nope. Fur. I choose fur.
I hope one of those diamonds isn’t a blood diamond. That would really dilute the message.
It’s Fat Tuesday, which means that it’s the last day of Mardi Gras or Carnival or whatever personal Bacchanalian parade you have going on. So get after it! Like I need to tell you that. Because tomorrow you’re going to go on a thirty day juice cleanse and run ten miles a day. Right? Right. So from what I can glean, today people in the UK eat pancakes. Pancakes=Fat Tuesday there. Pancakes=Every Day here, but we long ago outstripped the British in just about everything except our Cheryl Coles. Since pancakes are nationally observed there today, Prince William and Kate Middleton got in on the action in Belfast, flipping some pancakes.
I find them fascinating. I just want to hear them talk. This is probably how my mom felt about Charles and Di. I want to eat pancakes off of their commemorative wedding plate. This one:
We’ve all been there: Stranded at the airport, forced to eat over-priced, non-delicious airport sandwiches. Compelled by
alcoholism boredom to drink sub par, $13 Bloody Mary’s. (Except you, Newark Airport International Departures bar. You’re great. Never change.) Sometimes we’re in Salt Lake City where the alcohol content in beer is less than .002 percent. Fact. And we are STUCK. The power that the airport wields over us is incredible. We try to sneak into the fancy peoples private clubs where they sauna and eat petit fours and sip Chablis, only to be tased when we cross the threshold.* Most of us just try to make it through without strangling the dude next to us who breathes weird. Not all of us are lucky enough to be stranded in the Buenos Aires airport with one CYNDI LAUPER, who decides to take matters into her own hands and serenade us all with one of the best songs EVER:
What a treasure. An American treasure. She’s STILL GOT IT. I guess she sang two songs. Hope the other one was from The Goonies.