Posts By walkersa


Kids React To YouTube Stars: Sadism Towards Apples, Love Of Squeaky Voices

Here’s another episode in The Fine Brothers series, Kids React To Viral Videos. However, this time around they’re reacting to YouTube Stars. As an iCarly enthusiast, I recognize this first YouTube star, Fred, who was featured on an episode of iCarly. I realize the main difference between myself and children, other than height, age and pants size, is that I have no tolerance for Fred. To the majority of children, apparently, Fred is a genius.

Which kid do you identify with? I like the little dude who doesn’t understand Fred. I’m totally with you, bro. I also like it when the red headed twins get into a fight. Also, glad I’m not an anthropomorphized apple, otherwise these kids would gleefully laugh and laugh upon my brutal end.


Jude Law Gets A Brazilian At Carnival

This is Jude Law at the Rio de Janeiro Carnival parade. He’s kissing Hebe Camargo, who Splash News describes as “a Brazilian TV icon known for being very friendly with other stars.” Sign me up to be a Brazilian TV icon, please. I think that was on a list of career options in high school. Never too late.


House From Up Recreated In Real Life. Can Cool World Be Far Behind?

The answer is no, of course. Cool World will never happen in real life. Cartoons and humans will never co-exist in the same sexy 1940’s world, no matter what our technology suggests or how hard I wish it. But everyone loves a Cool World reference. Right? Right??? Just me? Cool (world). Anyway. A group of engineers decided to recreate the scene in Up where the house floats away on hundreds of balloons. Here’s what happened:

Can you imagine how high your voice would get it you inhaled one of those balloons? Like, really high. So I assume they’ll land on the edge of a cliff in South America and run into a bunch of super intelligent dogs who are controlled by a famous evil aviator, yes? Roger (rabbit) that!



Watch: Onion SportsDome Knows How To Make A Wish Come True

Michael Torpey is a hilarious comic who is a correspondent for Onion SportsDome, a show that’s part of the Onion Sports Network. In this heart-warming piece, Torpey and his Wish Zone team help an injured young athlete’s greatest wish come true.

Awesome. That kid who plays Dylan is so good. Also, I really enjoy the subtle nod to Friday Night Lights‘ Dylan Panthers, football-related paralysing injury-wise. Clear eyes, full hearts, cold revenge.

You can watch SportsDome on Comedy Central, Tuesdays at 8/7 C


Jimmy Fallon Sums Up All You Ever Need To Know About Charlie Sheen

Yesterday I made a vow. To myself, to all of you, to not talk about Charlie Sheen. I made some pretty great puns. About having Sheen enough. So, I would like to apologize for posting this video, mostly to myself. Dear Sarah, I apologize. However, I’m breaking this vow of shileence* because Jimmy Fallon, doing a spot on impression, effectively sums up all you ever need to know about Sheen. It’s like the Cliff’s Notes of Sheen. So, watch this and learn everything you need to know, and like you did with Moby Dick in high school, fake your way through discussions, knowing the basic plot points.

Much like Tina Fey’s first impression of Sarah Palin, there is absolutely no need for him to do anything rather than use 96% actual quotes from Sheen. Now forget about Sheen and go read Moby Dick. I’m reinstating my vow.

* Sheen+silence=shileence. Least effective pun so far.



Hold The F*cking Phone: Chad Michael Murray Drops “Michael” From Name

Serious Actor Face

Chad Michael Murray covers the April issue of Troix magazine. In it, Chad Michael Murray says that he learned a lot on the set of One Tree Hill. Chad Michael Murray also states that it’s his dream to one day work with Darren Aronofsky, Martin Scorsese and Terry Gilliam.

Hold on, let me just take a sip from my mug of tea.

Chad Michael Murray also says that he’s dropping the “Michael” from his name-SPIT TAKE-HOLD THE F*CKING PHONE CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY! You can’t just drop the Michael from your name! Where would we be without our double first named former teen heart throbs? From Jonathan Taylor Thomas to Sarah Jessica Parker? If you think this will make you a more serious actor, think again. It’s your Michael that defines you, CdoubleM. Or should I call you CM. I won’t. Listen, RZA and GZA are never going to call you “Chad Murray” in a charming and hilarious way. That’s reserved for Bill Murray. You need these three names. They work as a team. When one member of the team drops out, the whole name falls apart. Do you see what I’m saying? THERE IS AN M IN TEAM!

Please take my words to heart and reconsider.



Rolling Stone Cover: Is That A Rocket Between Your Legs Or Are You Just Snooki To See Me?

That title makes about as much sense as having Snooki on the cover of Rolling Stone. But, we live in a crazy, tiger blood* world. Things don’t make sense.

Don’t get me wrong, I like this cover. I do. Except I think they got the angle wrong. It should look like this:

America’s love affair with Snooki. Strange Love indeed.

*This will be my last reference to Charlie Sheen. I’m sick of it. I’ve Sheen it all. I’m done. He should be Sheen and not heard. The only reason I would keep talking about Sheen is because I keep NAILING all these Sheen puns.