It’s Friday, so I can confidently say that this is the best Tumblr of the week, maybe even, of the month. Bold claims, but after Destiny’s Child (aka Beyoncé +2) announced that they were “getting back together” with an album of unreleased remixes and one (1) brand new track, everyone flipped out. Meanwhile, on the cover of said new album, Vanity Fair makes a good point that “the only person on the cover with even a hint of a smile on her face, while Rowland and Michelle Williams look as though they feel slightly betrayed and can’t yet trust again.” Yikes.
Posts By Lindsey Weber
Who would have thought that a funny name, an inauspicious start in an all-dance movie and a sordid stripper past would eventually be the perfect equation for a leading man. His star has been rising for a while but this was truly the year the world fell head over heels in love with Channing Tatum. Maybe because he turned his dance talents into a weirdly serious film about stripping called Magic Mike, maybe because he healed our amnesia in The Vow, maybe it’s because we can’t stop laughing at his scientific equations from 21 Jump Street, maybe it’s even because we saw him romance his real-life wife again in 10 years. Or maybe we just like that mug of his.
Dominating Moment: That would be the release and subsequent American obsession with Steven Soderbergh’s Magic Mike, because even when they were wearing clothing, it was actually good!
What We Expect From Him in 2013: More gratuitous butt shots, please. Oh, yeah, also, his baby with wife Jenna Dewan-Tatum, plus the release of G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Side Effects, White House Down. After he finishes work on a couple more (dozen) movies, he says he’ll be taking a little break. Maybe we’ll let him.
[Photo: Getty Images]
Was there ever a more highly anticipated baby than the offspring of Beyonce and Jay-Z? Well, maybe. But it sure was fun following the story of Miss Blue Ivy Carter, from Mama Bey’s mimed announcement at the 2011 VMAs to all the rumors that she’d be giving birth on New Year’s Eve, to the stories of the lavish gifts the pop/hip-hop/fashion-diva-to-be received from the likes of Oprah and Kelly Rowland. We’ve yet to see much more of the precious one other than the back of her head, and yet we already love every inch of it.
Dominating Moment: Perhaps it was being born? Lil Blue was born on January 7th at New York City’s Lenox Hill Hospital. Did she have her own private wing? Of course she did. She soon charted on Billboard, featured in her dad’s ode “Glory.” Now ask yourself what you’ve done lately.
Dominating on Twitter: Baby Blue can’t quite tweet yet, although many a Trending Topic has been assigned to her name. There are, however, quite a few parody Blue Ivys, and perhaps Blue is a Twitter late starter like her mom, whose account just tweeted for the first time in April, with already over 5 million followers.
Best Appearances: No word on what Blue’s first word was (or might be?) but as soon as she’s ready to give comment to Us Weekly, I bet we’ll be seeing cover story placement. Meanwhile, Blue’s been seen out on the town with her mom, dad and Auntie Solange.
What We Expect From Her in 2013: Blue Ivy turns 1 in January, and you bet it’ll be the best first birthday anyone’s ever seen.
2012! The year of The (supposed) Apocalypse. The year of “Call Me Maybe” (which may be related to the Apocalypse, who really knows?). And, finally, the year of a few ill-fated celebrity hookups. Call them flings or fleeting romances or however else you hold on to your faith in true love, from Skrillex and Ellie Goulding to Russell Brand and Ginger Spice, these are the celebs who got together and then quickly broke apart this very year:
Really Drew? The COOLEST moment of your life? Maybe the most incredible moment, the most inspiring, the most magical, the most life-changing…But the coolest? I’m not saying it can’t be cool to have a baby, but you, Drew Barrymore, have had a pretty cool life. Here’s where I tell you about how cool your life is:
- As an 11 year old, Drew Barrymore was an “regular” at Studio 54. She smoked cigarettes AT 9, drank alcohol AT 11, smoked marijuana AT 12 and snorted cocaine at 13 YEARS OLD. Sure, that’s pretty messed up, but also pretty cool.
- In 1990 Drew wrote an autobiography called Little Girl Lost. Even though it was about her troubled youth, it was still a book! She wrote a book. Cool!
- The next year, Drew filed for emancipation from her parents so she could be cool basically all the time. And then she flashed David Letterman her boobs, all while standing on his Late Show desk.
- In 1999 Drew MARRIES Tom Green and in 2001 their beloved dog Flossie saves them from a house fire. That’s insanely cool.
- Unfortunately Tom and Drew split, but Drew started dating The Strokes’ Fabrizio Moretti. At that time he was probably the coolest dude ever.
- She was killed off in the first 10 minutes of the ORIGINAL Scream. Epitome of cool.
- She kicked ass in all of the Charlie’s Angels movies. She also executive produced all of them. The coolest.
- That thing with Fab didn’t work out. No worries, Drew dated JUSTIN LONG next. Yep, that Justin Long. So cool.
- Drew managed to make Grey Gardens cool. Have you seen the original Grey Gardens? It’s in black and white. (Actually, it wasn’t in black and white but it might as well have been.)
- She directed a Best Coast music video that was an indie West Side Story and starred cool kids Donald Glover and Alia Shawkat.
- Oh, did I forget to mention that Drew is the godmother of Francis Bean Cobain? Yeah. Cool royalty.
- She co-starred in a documentary in which a guy attempted to go on a date with her. Guess what? He succeeded. She’s pretty cool.
100. She had a really adorable baby named Olive. Congratulations! For real.
Oh man, these new photos of Mary Kate Olsen and her much older boyfriend Olivier Sarkozy are worrisome. Sadly for MK, once you’re a child star, you’re always a child (star) in that every time I look at her precious face I see that of a Michelle Tanner. Now, with MK already dating someone quite a bit older than her actual age, and I see her severely deflated age, it’s like watching a ten year old date a fifty year old. Their actual age difference is a bit smaller but like I said, I’ll always see Michelle Tanner.
You know who else will always see Michelle Tanner?
Annoying next door neighbor Kimmy Gibbler:
We don’t know about you, but we were fully focused on last night’s election tallies. As was, we noted, most of America. Our Twitter feed scrolled faster than ever before, as the country collectively chattered about the impending results. Meanwhile, smack in the middle of all the politics, comes a tweet from The Hollywood Reporter: “@KirstieAlley Fell in Love With Patrick Swayze, John Travolta While Married to Parker Stevenson.” WHAAAAAAT?! Hold the polls, America, Kirstie Alley is (in her very own special way) is deciding that now is the time to share with the world that John Travolta is not gay. Mind you, this is the same night that Americans voted for legalizing gay marriage in Maine:
“I know John. With all my heart and soul, he’s not gay,” says Alley, who is a devoted Scientologist, along with Travolta. “I think it’s some weird way, in Hollywood, if someone gets big enough and famous enough, and they’re not out doing drugs and they’re not womanizing, what do you say about them?”
True, Travolta has not been womanizing. But he has allegedly been doing the opposite of womanizing (manizing?), per reports that he grabbed the junk of a masseuse back in May. Well, it’s up to you decide if you believe this and if you’re going to buy Kirstie’s new book, The Art of Men (I Prefer Mine al Dente), but just imagine if these two had actually shacked up in real life! It’s a dream lost, along with the dream that we’d give birth to a child with the voice of Bruce Willis.
[Photo: Getty Images & Kirstie Alley’s Twitter]
It’s the Sunday before Halloween, and while you might have already attended some of the parties this past weekend, actual Halloween falls upon a very inconvenient Wednesday this year, and I have the perfect costume for you. Think about it. What’s everyone going to be talking about next week? If you work with the right people (and I know you do) they’re all going to be talking about tonight’s Homeland.
That’s right. The one show whose antics always carry straight through the week — from water coolers to message boards — now that’s the costume you win in-office Halloween costume contest prizes with. And it’s a super easy one to put together.
While the Internet is probably more focused on the color of Jessica Biel’s wedding dress (Pink! How dare she!) I am officially upset with People magazine for the day, on behalf of my girl Britney Spears. Why? Because as Justin Timberlake jumps for joy about his nuptials, poor Brit has her face stuck in the upper right hand column. “BRITNEY’S SHOCKING TRIAL” the cover headline reads. Does it even matter what trial they speak of? No. People just wanted poor Brit’s face conveniently plastered alongside JT’s joy.
The evidence is in. According to every blog on the planet, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel (or JessiLake, as I will call them through my tears) are married. There’s an EXCLUSIVE photo spread coming to Ye Olde People magazine this week, but plenty of paparazzi got to eat take out ravioli while they sat around waiting to catch glimpses of the bridge and groom in southern Italy.
“It was magical,” said Timberlake, to People. “It was a fantasy,” Biel added.
“I imagine it was an OK wedding,” said this blogger, to no people in particular.