All of Cannes is abuzz about Nicole Kidman’s amazing performance in Lee Daniels‘ The Paperboy, which screened earlier today. We were already onboard with the flick after Zac Efron said filming sex scenes with Kidman were “the highlight of my life.” But now that the folks at Vulture have spoiled one key crazy part of the movie (which, they say, is full of crazy), we are both eager and apprehensive. Here’s their description: “Nicole Kidman looms over a supine Zac Efron, cries out, ‘If anyone’s gonna pee on him, it’s gonna be me,’ and then squirts an impressive stream of urine onto the High School Musical star’s face and bare chest.”
Sorry, pervs, it is not a weird sex scene that inspires this golden shower, but a jellyfish attack on Zac. And now, all we can picture is the Friends episode, “The One With the Jellyfish.”
In the 33rd paragraph of a New York Times theater profile of Big Bang Theory star Jim Parsons, this little sentence appears: “The Normal Heart resonated with him on a few levels: Mr. Parsons is gay and in a 10-year relationship, and working with an ensemble again onstage was like nourishment, he said.” It’s stated as a simple fact, nestled among observations of how the actor is playing a part made famous by Jimmy Stewart in the Broadway revival of Harvey. But this afternoon, Us Weekly picked up on that little sentence and brought it to everyone’s attention. And sure enough, within an hour, everyone was blogging, “Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory is gay!”
Now, we’re not really obsessed with the personal lives of the stars of the CBS sitcom (though I did once see Johnny Galecki’s penis … in a play!), but all it took was a touch of Google to realize that, um, Parsons has been quietly out for a while. His engagement to long-term boyfriend Todd Spiewak was even rumored in the National Enquirer a couple of years ago. There are even things like this Tumblr devoted to pics of Jim and Todd.
Then again, things like that Tumblr are the only places we could actually find photos of Todd. Which kind of makes us sad. Galecki is always either by himself or with his co-stars on all the red carpet pics we can find. We get the need for privacy, of course. But we hope, like Michael Musto does in this Out story about the “glass closet,” that eventually, no one feels the need to keep their significant others away from the flashbulbs. And that sentences like “Mr. Parsons is gay and in a 10-year relationship” will be as totally unremarkable as that Times writer originally intended it to be.
To quote my boss, “Nooooooo, Joe!” (Only with more Os.) This was a reaction to the news that Paramount has decided to move G.I. Joe: Retaliation from its scheduled June 29 release to March 29, 2013. According to Deadline, this is because the studio would like to convert the whole thing to 3D. Wait, so we will now get to see the bulging biceps of Channing Tatum, Dwayne Johnson, Adrianne Palicki, D.J. Cotrona and Bruce Willis in three dimensions?
The John Chu-directed flick has a better chance of making big bucks overseas with 3D effects added, not to mention Channing Tatum won’t be competing against his own abs, which will be so lovingly displayed in Magic Mike, which is still coming out on June 29.
While Rachel Berry would probably never get a tattoo — she’d fear it would affect her ability to get cast as a young Barbra Streisand or maybe, out of respect for Jewish law — we’ve all seen evidence that Lea Michele thinks differently. We didn’t know how differently until last night, when the Glee star appeared on Late Night With David Letterman and shocked the host by telling him she actually has 14 tattoos, most of them in “secret spots.”
“You have 14 secret spots?!” Letterman asked incredulously. Yes, but not much more than that, she said. And most of these tats, she explained, were done on family outings, when the whole Safarti (that’s her real surname) clan apparently get “super sentimental” and get inked together. That is basically one of the best reasons to get a tattoo we can ever imagine. So where are all these secret spots? We can’t locate many in the photos we have available to us. But here’s what we found:
Ever since we saw Hailee Steinfeld manipulate a bunch of grown outlaws in True Grit, we’ve been begging Hollywood to cast her in everything — she was a big favorite to play Katniss in The Hunger Games before fellow Oscar nominee Jennifer Lawrence got the gig. And, as much as we’re looking forward to seeing her in Romeo and Juliet and as Petra in Ender’s Game, we’re much more excited about today’s casting news. According to Deadline, the 15-year-old is in negotiations to play Min Green in the adaptation of YA novel Why We Broke Up. It is just the sort of smart-ass-but-vulnerable girl we’d love to see her take on.
The novel, by Daniel Handler (who normally writes under the pen name Lemony Snicket) and illustrated by New Yorker regular Maira Kalman, is a really long letter from Min to her ex, Ed Slaterton, that accompanies a box of all the memorabilia she gathered over the course of their relationship (each of which is cleverly illustrated by Kalman). And even though the title tells you EXACTLY what happens at the end of their relationship, you will probably find yourself crying and throwing the book across the room multiple times while reading it. You might even mope around all day before realizing that no, you did not break up with someone just now; it was just the fictional characters in the book. (Not that this happened to me at all.)
Min, short for Minerva, the Roman goddess of wisdom, is an independent girl who is obsessed with film and couldn’t care less about typical high school things like sports and school dances. But when Ed, the captain of the basketball team, crashes her best friend’s party and asks her out, she finds herself entering his world of bonfires and jock parties and mean ex-girlfriends. She, meanwhile, draws him into her clever world, and they begin planning an elaborate surprise birthday soiree for an old lady she’s convinced is silver-screen movie star Lottie Carson. Much to the chagrin of their friends, of course, they fall in love. Read more…
Snooki and fiance Jionni LaValle are expecting a boy in September, she says in a story she sold to the new issue of In Touch magazine. We are kind of disappointed that we won’t immediately get to see the kind of animal print minidresses she’d put a daughter in, and it sounds like the 24-year-old Jersey Shore star is too. “I thought it was going to be a girl. I was hoping it would be, because all girls want girls,” she admits, before adding, “It’s still my baby, no matter what. I’m excited either way!”
In the story, she also reveals the typical pregnancy woes: “Our sex life is hardly there! I just feel too icky and gross.” Also, her cravings include “anything cold and juicy, like Italian ices.” (Uh-oh, we can hear the Italian ice lobby complain of being poorly represented already.) And In Touch must have given Snooki a sweet deal, because she also told them which names they’re considering, Lorenzo or Jionni Jr.
The surprising bit of this article? This statement: “I’m not going to party hard anymore, even after the baby is born.” There goes all of our TV fun.
As much as Glee is about singing and tolerance and bullying and domestic violence and young love, it also is about fashion. I mean, in last week’s episode, even Principal Figgins noted the evolution of Tina Cohen-Chang’s wardrobe. And nothing pointed out the characters’ individual fashion sense as much as the character swapping they did in “Props.” That’s why, as we brace ourselves for tonight’s graduation episode, and the summer hiatus to follow, we thought we’d look back at some of our favorite outfits from the season.
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In looking through the Fox-provided stills from season three, we noticed a few interesting things: 1) There’s not much of Emma Pillsbury (Jayma Mays) — her character took a backseat for most of the season, so we’ve been deprived of her adorable, early-’60s-inspired dresses. 2) Rachel Berry’s wardrobe has hardly changed through the seasons, though there were a few standout dresses that might show signs she’ll eventually stop dressing like a 12-year-old. 3) We want all of Sugar’s and Quinn’s sweaters. And 4) Figgins was right, Tina has made an amazing fashion transformation, for the better.
Last week, we asked Jenna Ushkowitz what she thinks Tina’s next fashion identity might be. Here’s what she said:
Where there are adorable couples, there are bound to be ugly breakup rumors, and Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are no exception to this rule. While we are endlessly amused by the idea of Selena getting carried away with Fifty Shades of Grey and running off with her gross house-painter, we also don’t want those kids to part ways, like, ever. Bieber fan sites pointed to a tweet they say he posted deleted last week that sounded like a breakup message: “thank you for the time i had with you but i have to move on now.” And others were soon saying that Selena unfollowed Justin on Twitter. Which, that one is false. Here’s a screencap from the list of people she’s following:
But we have to say, this post from MediaTakeout kind of cracked us up (random capitalization theirs): “The streets are saying that Selena Gomez DUMPED Justin, after she heard RUMORS that he and pop SUPERSTAR Rihanna were getting very friendly – and Selena suspected that Justin was SMASHING!!” Read more…
A more cynical writer (or less indulgent reader) might say this marks the moment that 50 Shades of Grey — or, more accurately, making fun of Fifty Shades of Grey — jumped the shark. Selena Gomez and Nick Kroll have made a Funny or Die video in which the teen queen fantasizes about her gross house painter as a result of reading a little too much E.L. James. But I’m not going to say that, because I have laughed at EVERY SINGLE ONE of these, and I’m showing no signs of tiring of the topic. Comedians of the world, you may still keep these parodies coming, for our appetite is as insatiable as Anastasia Steele’s. What I do fear is that by the time they get around to actually making the real movie, we won’t be able to take it seriously in the least. If we ever would have, that is. (OK, if Ian Somerhalder plays Christian, I promise to take it seriously.) Here five other readings/parodies to enjoy … until the next one comes along. None of these are SFW, btw.
1. Fifty Shades of Grey, the animated trailer. If you’ve read the book, I have two words of warning for you: blue string. If you haven’t, just prepare for some CGI gross. Read more…
These are probably not the kind of headlines Ray J wanted to be making. Early yesterday morning, just as rumors were circulating about Whitney Houston’s ex-boyfriend almost getting into a scuffle with Pat Houston in the middle of the Billboard Music Awards, the singer was apparently checking into a hospital in Las Vegas. He is being treated for “exhaustion and jet lag,” a rep told E! Online.
As much as we always assume “exhaustion” is a code word for some kind of substance abuse — especially after the kind of accusations Houston’s family has been throwing around of Ray J being responsible for getting her hooked on cocaine again — one glimpse at his schedule makes us think this might be a legit excuse. Before the Billboard Awards, Ray had reportedly been on a 32-hour round trip to China, where he performed in a concert and then had some meetings “regarding a new business,” according to Radar Online. He drove four hours from L.A. to Vegas for the show, which included a very moving tribute to his ex, and then hosted an afterparty to launch Prince Reigns hair serum. Take a breather, Ray J. No hair product deal can be worth your health!