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Watch Eclipse Clip: Evil Vampires Have Bieber Hair. Obvs.

Every time a Twilight film comes out, my friends Pat and Adrienne and I go to Queens on opening night to watch it with the kidz. The first time it was hilarious. Team Jacob and Team Edward shirts, boys who don’t know they’re gay yet with their girl best friends who don’t know the boys are gay either. It’ll all blow up soon enough, but for that one night, all lust was directed towards Edward and Jacob, and it was awesome. When New Moon came out we were excited to do the same thing. However, this time all novelty had worn off and we were in a hot, sweaty theater watching a terrible movie with teenagers on a Friday night. The worst. And we’ll do it again for Eclipse. Because we’ve convinced ourselves that we have to. You know, that code that we live by. We’re idiots. Anyway, at least I know there will be some lolz, as evidenced by this clip:

I’ve watched the part where the vampire says, “Maybe we should consult with Aro” about three four times, and I’m still laughing. The way he says it? And his face before he says it? So funny. Guys, this will be great. Bieber hair! Dakota Fanning! Dakota Fanning in a hooded cape!

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Cate Blanchett, Giant Tulle

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Once again, Cate Blanchett looks stunning on the red carpet, this time at Robin Hood premiere in Cannes. What’s more noticeable though is just how much she towers over everyone. Posing with producer Brian GrazerChau-Giang Thi Nguyen, co-star Russell Crowe and his wife Danielle Spence, Blanchett is literally head and shoulders above them – and that’s even with Grazer’s spiked hair. Blanchett wasn’t the only one with a voluminous outfit, check out our gallery to see who else dressed to excess at the premiere.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Were Rob And Kristen Fighting On The Set Of Eclipse?

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Okay, we’re going to take this with a grain of salt, but there’s a rumor circulating right now that Robert Pattinson (photos) and Kristen Stewart (photos) got into a big fight on the set of Eclipse over Rob’s alleged visit to a burlesque club in London. Pattinson supposedly turned up late to the set where the cast was shooting pick-up shots for the upcoming film, and Stewart accused him of having stayed late at the bar and taking a later flight to the Vancouver set. A source told Page Six “They were both so angry, the crew had to take a break for an hour for things to simmer down.” Ooh, wonder if we’ll be able to see the tension onscreen!

If their secret confirmation to Oprah didn’t cement the deal that these two are officially dating, fighting in public and driving one another crazy (you know, like every other couple) certainly makes it seem like it’s the real deal. Plus, you know, since Kristen is probably pregnant with their vampire love-child, she would be extra hormonal.

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[Photo: Getty Images]

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Trace Cyrus Goes Cream Soda Crazy At NYLON’s Young Hollywood Party

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Watching wild man Trace Cyrus grip his Suite Life Of Zack & Cody girl Brenda Song and swig from his cream soda bottle at NYLON’s Young Hollywood party sure puts sister Miley‘s wrap party lapdance in perspective. How can we expect her to conform to society’s norms with this tattooed hedonist as a role model? Imagine, that much sugar at night…and we’re not even talking about Brenda! With hellcats like Peaches Geldof, Amber Rose, Kristen Cavallari and Zac Efron also in attendance, it’s amazing the roof wasn’t blown clean off. See these stars and more in the gallery below.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Tila Tequila Assaults Eyes And Ears At Launch Party

Tila Tequila

Oooh la, gag, gag, gag. New blond Tila Tequila celebrated her new EP, Welcome To The Darkside with a special concert in LA last night. Though as fascinating/horrifying as her on-stage antics appear, it was the red carpet where she rolled around in a top made of feathers and belt straps (does the woman even have nipples?). “ohh My concert was SO MUCH FUN!” she tweeted last night. “Wait til you see my costumes and a surprise guest that I bumped into afterwards and made out with! GOSSIP!!!”

Considering the only other star on her red carpet was 2003 American Idol contestant Trenyce…we’ll stick with the costumes. See the spectacle in the gallery below.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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by (@missmuttoo)

Kate Hudson Pissed With Cameron Diaz

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The Cameron Diaz-Alex Rodriguez hook up and ensuing love-fest has someone’s panties in a twist… his ex Kate Hudson. Us Weekly’s new issue reports of a major feud between Cameron and Kate over the Yankee star. The dish is that, “An insider believes Diaz is bedding Rodriguez as a form of retaliation after Hudson hooked up with Justin Timberlake in January 2007 — just two days after the couple of four years split.”

The source also says, “Kate thinks it’s payback, pure and simple.” Apparently, they’re on to something because they’ve quoted a Cam.D pal saying,  “Cameron was actually in a serious long-term relationship with Justin. She thinks it’s a joke Kate would be mad. Kate is only upset because she hates being single.” The battle extends to them fighting for the same role with sources saying, ” Kate thinks Cameron is an aging old lady actress struggling to remain sexy and relevant.”  Meow!

And this is not the first time reports of a K.Hud feud have surfaced. Apparently Jennifer Aniston and Hudson weren’t too happy with each other, and it was all because of …Gerard Butler. Hudson allegedly hooked up with Butler, and Jen went postal. “Even though she and Gerard are no longer together, Jen feels Kate was encroaching on her territory,” a source told  the National Enquirer. You know K-Hud… this kinda sounds like karma! What goes around, comes around. Oh wait… that’s a Justin Timberlake song! Full circle, baby!

[Photo: SplashNewsOnline]

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David Boreanaz’ Alleged Sexts With Rachel Uchitel Leaked

Rachel Uchitel has denied that Radar‘s sexts between Tiger Woods’ mistress and BonesDavid Boreanaz are the real deal, but the tab is publishing them anyway. We’re tempted to believe the verity too, if only because the portrait they paint isn’t so much creepy/hot (no “I would love to have the ability to make you sore” talk here) as a reminder of why extramarital affairs with needy nymphos aren’t always the best idea. Here’s what happened when Angel wouldn’t leave his pregnant wife to visit Rachey in NY.

Rachel: I need you here so we can be together.
David: This is not a good time.
Rachel: I can’t do this anymore…Just go. Just [redacted] go and be with her.
David: Why do u act like such a [redacted] child!!! She is my wife
Rachel: Oh, please!! You’re such a liar. You’re never leaving. You’ve wasted my time and I’m once again alone. I can’t [redacted] be alone anymore. I’ve been alone my entire life.
David: What the HELL are you talking about. We spend more than enough time together.

Wow, hope you were able to keep your hand out of your pants for that one! These things may start with three-day sex bouts (“Rachel said they made love the entire time, she said David is amazing,” says their source) and photos of genitalia, but celebs need to realize that ladies on the side a) are more desperate than the stars and b) have less to lose than the stars. Thankfully for us gossipmongers, these guys never learn.

[Photos: .com]

by (@missmuttoo)

Naomi Campbell Has A New Outlook On Kabbalah

SPL178480_001She’s a supermodel. She can totally change her mind whenever she wants to, right? Naomi Campbell dissed Kabbalah and compares it to rehab, and threw in Madonna’s name in for good measure too. She scathed, ” I knew about Kabbalah before Madonna got involved. Kabbalah is not a religion, it’s a program. I don’t like to get hooked on things like that. It reminds me of A.A. but just with different words. They’ve got the same principles. We’re all looking for positivity in our lives and looking towards the light but I just believe in God.”

Now the slap-happy supermodel’s apparently changed her mind, and has been meeting up in secret with Madge’s Kabbalah mentor Eitan Yardeni. Spies report that the supermodel met Yardeni at Manhattan’s Kabbalah Center shortly before taking off to Europe with her Russian billionaire boyfriend, Vladimir Doronin. Maybe all that business with a blood diamond got her stressed out.

[Photo: Splash News]

by (@missmuttoo)

No Free Ride To Cannes For Lindsay Lohan

So, Lindsay Lohan’s playing a porn star in a movie. We’d reported that she’s going to portray the legendary adult-film actress Linda Lovelace in a film called Inferno. Unfortunately, the movie’s not getting her as much mileage as she was hoping for. If Lilo wants to make it to Cannes this year, she’s going to have to pay for it out of her own pocket. She’s apparently trying desperately to wrangle some moolah and swing a freebie to get there but no one seems to be coughing up the cash. “She’s been asking around, but hasn’t had any takers,” snarks a source.

Oh, and here’s the juice about the movie she’s about to star in, straight from the director Matthew Wilder himself, “It’s not something I can imagine that anybody would ever be turned on by, unless they’re really sick.” Sounds…interesting.

[Photo: .com]

by (@katespencer)

Toast Rob Pattinson’s 24th Birthday With 24 of His Most Ridiculous Faces

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We’ve seen enough sexy Robert Pattinson photos to know that he’s the hottest man alive, now and forever (forever because he’s also a vampire and can’t die unless the Volturi kill him and we all know – okay, we’ll shut up). We’ve even sat two feet across from the guy during a Remember Me interview and let us tell you, if a human being could morph into a vibrator, he would be it. Girl boners abound!

But we also spend enough time (ie: every waking moment) looking at him to know he takes some hilariously fugly photos. While Taylor Lautner moves like a bottle of botox, RPattz just can’t stop smirking, grinning, gawking and guffawing awkwardly. Says our intern Nicki, who gathered the magnificent photos below, “I don’t understand how an actor has no control over his face.. isn’t that a part of the job ?” She speaks the truth, which only leads us to wonder…if he can’t reign it in on the red carpet, what does his face look like when he’s bedding his own personal Bella Swan? Moving on…

Today is Rob’s 24th birthday! (Squeals and golf claps.) And since we celebrated KStew’s birthday with some snapshots of that iconic Kristen Stewart bitch face, we thought we’d toast her boyfriend the same way. Enjoy our present to you – 24 of the most ridiculous Robert Pattinson faces on the planet – otherwise known as RPattz Porn. Dig in, dear readers!

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