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Ashton Says Twitter Keeps The Paparazzi Away

Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore

Though their relationship has had its ups and downs, Ashton Kutcher still thinks making a high-profile commitment to Twitter was a great lifestyle choice. “The immediacy of it is great. The connection people have with each other and the pool of individuals out there. It’s a beautiful environment,” he told Britain’s Metro. “You can take the control back in your relationship with the media. You can dictate your own view. My ability to self-publish has resulted in a big reduction in strangers following me around with cameras.”

Not so fast, Ash. While a Twitter feed allows for a certain amount of control, the lack of paps around the Valentine’s Day star may have something to do with his willingness to supply so much gristle for fans (not every celeb wants to put their wife’s ass online) and the fact that his private life seems pretty banal. We’re sure the cameramen would be piled up outside his door if Demi Moore ever had reason to pull an Elin Nordegren on him, whether or not he was posting blurry photos from his hotel room.

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Roses Are Red, Maple Is Sappy. Sorry This Card Is Generic And Crappy.

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Hang on to your blonde ringlets, Taylor Swift fans, because here’s a licensing deal we never saw coming. Most singers or actors want to throw their hats into the clothing design and/or perfume ring, but Taylor cares enough to send the very best, which is why she has her own greeting card line instead. Now stalkers can pick up a pack of “You Belong With Me” cards to give to their prey while appearing adorable and wholesome at the same time.

The line is being distributed by American Greetings and is available wherever commemorative ornaments and tiny stuffed animals holding “Congrats, Grad!” placards are sold. [Photo: MTV]

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John Travolta Cannot Hear You Talking About His Hairline

Despite endless questioning about his mutable hairline, John Travolta has talked about his smooth skull in From Paris, With Love as if it was a miracle of technology and shaving cream (they had to use Photoshop to see how he’d look without hair, you know), rather than proof that the actor is bald, bald, bald, bald. But if the blatant cross-hatching under his widow’s peak at the French premiere of From Paris, With Love this week doesn’t get the former sweathog to admit Xenu’s taken a little more off the top than being let on, nothing will.

Thankfully, the actor has been hinting that he might let his hair go gracefully—once that becomes an issue, of course. “I was worried my whole life about losing my hair and now it’s a celebratory thing. Everybody’s loving it. I’m relieved.” We bet. “Not only did [wife] Kelly [Preston] like it but they did an on-line survey and 99 per cent of people preferred it to my usual look. I might just go bald and bearded full-time from now on.” Time to put your money where your mouth is, John—and off your scalp.

[Photo: .com]

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Lindsay Lohan Misses Opera Escort Gig With 77-Year-Old Millionaire

Lindsay Lohan & Richard Lugner

Richard Lugner, the 77-year-old Austrian entrepreneur who pays a different celeb each year to be his arm candy at Vienna’s Opera Ball, says Lindsay Lohan wouldn’t be taking her place beside him at the gala. Lugner—who will bring hunky German singer Dieter Bohlen in her stead—accused the starlet of missing her scheduled flight due to a shopping spree in LA and not being able to afford the late fees. “She’s a nutcase,” he said last week after complaining about alleged demands like a private jet with a bed and promises of no alcohol in her eyeline. Lohan, whose last personal tweet was a cryptic “away we gooooo!!!!” late Thursday night, has yet to comment.

As suggested by her replacement’s lack of female anatomy, escorting Lugner doesn’t quite have the same connotations as escorting, say, Hugh Hefner. The tycoon—who already has a young girlfriend named Bambi, thanks—started his annual tradition with Harry Belafonte in 1992. A bevvy of older lovelies like Ivana Trump and Raquel Welch followed, but Lugner’s aimed younger starlets earlier this decade, with recent opera companions including Paris Hilton, Dita Von Teese and Geri Halliwell. Take a look at his wild life—and Bambi!—in the gallery below.

[Photos: Getty Images]

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Designer Alexander McQueen Commits Suicide

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Fashion designer Alexander McQueen, beloved by such celebs as RihannaSarah Jessica Parker and Kate Moss, has committed suicide in London. The 40-year-old fashion icon was found dead in his London apartment, where it appears that he hung himself. A rep for his company confirmed the death, saying “‘It is a tragic loss. We are not making a comment at this time out of respect for the McQueen family.”

McQueen appeared to be grief-stricken recently after losing his mother just a week ago and had posted several emotional messages on his (now-defunct) Twitter page in the past few days.

As a designer he was occasionally shocking, dark and always unconventional but he was beloved in the fashion community and and named British Designer of the Year four times. He was a designer for Givenchy and Gucci, as well as running his own label, and opened several boutiques in the past three years. His death will cast a shadow over the upcoming Fashion Week activities in London and Paris. No doubt the fashion world will honor the man and his talent there and mourn his tragic passing. [Photos: Getty Images]

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Robo-Fergie Makes An Appearance In Florida

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At last night’s Black Eyed Peas show in Tampa, Florida, Fergie got all Skeletor-RoboCop on us with a skintight metallic number that showed off all her machinery. The ensemble, complete with metal skirt and, for lack of a better term, shin wings (copyright that, it’s going to catch on) was futuristic and Cylon-y, which is pretty much accurate considering the Black Eyed Peas have kind of taken over the world. Check out more pics from the show below. [Photos: Getty Images]

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Is John Mayer Racist? Or Just The Unfunniest Comedian in America?

You know the saying “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger?” Well, if this saying is true, then guitarist John Mayer is either immortal or the strongest f**king man on Earth. While Mayer often insists by way of Twitter that he “just wants to be a blues guitar player,” he keeps muckin’ it up by opening his mouth, which is sadly attached to his brain, which is clearly very diseased.

Let’s first say this: I don’t hate John Mayer. As far as people go, he’s pretty harmless. I even met the guy aboard a cruise, no less, and even though my hair and outfit were what I would loosely classify as “abysmal” (the jacket has been burned, thanks), and even though I sounded like Bea Arthur‘s ghostballs, Mayer had it in his good graces to hug me. A real hug, too, which may or may not have done things for me personally. OK? Great.

Now, on to the controversy. Today, Mayer finds himself in his all too familiar habitat of a Looney-Tunes-style vat of boiling water, this time thanks to an interview given to Playboy Magazine. Besides revealing personal details about his relationships with Jennifer Aniston (“I think she’s still hoping it goes back to 1998“), and Jessica Simpson (“I want to quit my life and just f*ckin’ snort you?“), Mayer also did his part to delve into race relations. Specifically, with regard to his shvantz.

Let’s get specific. Mayer dropped the N bomb. Yes, the 9/11 of bad words. He said it. Then, Mayer — who no doubt has a fair share of black friends, including the Kanye West, also known as “The Black John Mayer” — begins discussing his penis’ aversion to black women. Blockquote Time!:

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My d*ck is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a f*ckin’ David Duke c*ck. I’m going to start dating separately from my d*ck.

PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.

MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl.

Hmm.

(deep nostril inhale.)

(breathing out slowly through the mouth.)

OK. Here’s the thing about John Mayer that people need to understand:

Read more…

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Levi Johnston Isn’t Making Much, Fights Child Support Request

Levi Johnston

Levi Johnston may be famous—kinda—but he certainly isn’t rich. The Playgirl model and thorn in Sarah Palin‘s side is fighting babymama Bristol Palin‘s request for $1,750 a month in child support, admitting in court documents that while he made over six figures in 2009, he never roped more than $10,000 annually beforehand, and may only make twenty five grand in 2010. It’s not like Levi can expect fifteen minutes of fame every year—dude didn’t even score that Desperate Housewives cameo.

“Johnston’s viability as a media figure is too speculative to access at this juncture,” says the admirably humble legal filing for a guy who calls himself ‘Ricky Hollywood.’ “Levi Johnston stands before this court as a 19-year-old with good hopeful for an entertainment career but the chances of increased income are as unknowable as it would be for any young person working his way into the entertainment industry: not particularly good.” Still wanting to provide for lil’ Tripp, Johnston says he’ll to give 20% of his 2009 payday and provide quarterly income reports to Bristol—so the Fox correspondent’s daughter can better decide how much to bleed him for.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Alec Baldwin Rushed To Hospital

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Scary news: an ambulance was called to Alec Baldwin‘s home shortly after midnight last night and the actor was rushed to the hospital after his 14-year-old daughter Ireland found the actor unresponsive.  The New York Post is claiming that Baldwin may have taken and overdose of sleeping pills, however he was released from Lenox Hill Hospital in Manhattan only an hour after being admitted.

Whether or not this was an intentional attempt to harm himself, it worries us because Baldwin did say in a 2008 interview with The New Yorker that he considered suicide at one point after nasty voicemails to his daughter were leaked. We hope Baldwin is doing well today, we don’t want to start thinking about a world without Jack Donaghy or Schwetty Balls. [Photo: Getty Images]

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Somebody Call A Wahmbulance – Little Johnny Mayer Is Apologizing Through His Tears

John Mayer‘s Playboy interview – in which he dropped the n-word a bunch and went TMI overboard about sex with Jessica Simpson – has come back to bite him in the ass in a major way. We read the entire thing in bed this morning, and while it puts some of his charming quotes in context, they don’t make him any more likable. In fact, they only serve to highlight his extreme narcissism and egomania in a brighter, more blinding light. After plowing through his painful attempt to be witty, we were left with but one lasting thought: man, John Mayer is an insecure dick.

The good news: he has possibly realized he’s a dick, too!  John apologized for the interview at his concert last night, and appeared to get choked up while addressing his “quest to be clever.” He also, in true Mayer form, rambled on Twitter about his mistakes. Still, his regret is too little, too late, and probably only stems out of every celebrity’s deep-rooted desire to be liked, by everyone. And we’re guessing there are a few people out there today – including his exes – who don’t. Maybe now would be a good time for John to think before he speaks, and then maybe not speak at all? After all, it would give him more time to masturbate – his purported favorite activity.

Check out John with his various former flames and f*ck buddies in our gallery below.

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