by (@katespencer)

Dina Lohan Sounds Even Crazier On Twitter

How did we just discover the digital masterpiece that is Dina Lohan‘s Twitter page? Her rants – all of which defend her bag-of-bones daughter Lindsay – get awkwardly cut-off in the middle, as she clearly hasn’t mastered writing in under 140 characters. Here’s just a sample of one of our favorites, which is clearly about her downward-spiraling daughter:

“stable financially and EMOTIONALLY she is doing fine why must these haters constantly tear her down especially when she’s vulnerable to crit”

Every tweet takes the same tone – frantically defending her troubled daughter with the occasional all-caps word, which only results in making her – and Lindsay – look more crazy and down on their luck. Struggle on, ladies!


Shawn Johnson: Dancing With The Stalkers

Dancing With The Stars makes fans get all kinds of crazy. Unfortunately, this time, it has turned slightly ugly with alleged Shawn Johnson stalker Robert Michael O’Ryan hopping the fence at CBS studios while the 17-year-old Olympian was getting her dance on and taping the hit reality show. Scary!

Robert was arrested and Shawn’s mom Teri filed for a restraining order pronto, which alleges that 34-year-old Robert is mad psycho!

“He believes that she speaks to him personally through the television set and through ESP and that they will have a child together, he stated he would be with her no matter what,” Teri wrote in a declaration.

Wait, it gets worse. Los Angeles police found all kinds of stalker equipment in his car, like “a loaded .45 handgun, a loaded shotgun, and materials classically used for kidnapping including duct tape, zip ties [and] a map to the victim.” Also found were “love letters, clippings, and other information.” Yikes!

Little Shawn Johnson “is in fear for her life, she is extremely upset by this incident and her entire family and those around are all extremely concerned and fearful that [O'Ryan] might try to kidnap her or harm her in an effort to make good on his statements,” the document reads.

Luckily the temporary restraining order was granted and Robert must stay 100 yards away from Shawn, her mom, and her dancing partner Mark Ballas.

There will be a hearing April 14th.

Who to get advice from on a sensitive matter like stalkers? In November, American Idol host Paula Abdul‘s stalker was found dead in front of her home. See what Paula had to say about Shawn’s scandal. [Source: E! Online; Photo: Getty Images]


Denise Richards Haters Thrilled With Dancing Expulsion

On the graph of Denise Richards‘ life, her popularity has been in steady decline since she was a Bond Girl in 1999′s The World Is Not Enough. Nowadays she’s most famous for playing herself — first as the wife of Charlie Sheen, then as the estranged ex-wife of Charlie Sheen, then as the star of her own reality show that helped her move on from Charlie Sheen, and now as that lady on Dancing With The Stars who’s only a “star” because of all that business with Charlie Sheen.

If it wasn’t rough enough that Richards got booted from the dancing competition this week (even though she scored higher than her danceoff-competitor, Holly Madison), it turns out that some people — namely Charlie Sheen’s new wife and her friends — were actively rooting against her. Brooke Mueller, mother to Sheen’s brand new twin boys, had led a relatively quiet existence compared to Richards, but her friends still loathe Denise. A source says that “[Brooke's] friends were having viewing parties just waiting for (Richards’ expulsion) to happen. They’re tired of (Richards) doing anything for attention.” And here we thought stalking our ex’s new girlfriend on Facebook was sketchy. [Source: MSN; Photo: ]

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by (@katespencer)

Rihanna Protects Herself With Guns

Rihanna apparently flew out a tattoo artist named Bang Bang from New York to L.A., where she put him up in the Roosevelt Hotel and had him ink up her body. She ended up getting a tiny gun on the side of her ribs, even though she originally planned on doing two lil’ shooters on her shoulders. According to Bang Bang’s MySpace, “I really wanted to put it here… she loved em.. .but, cover girl wouldn’t have liked it much… and they pay the bills!”

We can’t help but wonder if her new bangin’ tattoo serves as a visual warning to anyone who may try to lay a hand on RiRi. To us, that gun says, “back the f*ck off.” Think anyone else is getting that message?  [DListed via ONTD]

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Dolly Parton: Celesbian?

Queen of Country Dolly Parton and her best friend Judy Ogle have apparently been the subject of rumors that the two close buddies are lesbians – who knew?

“We’re absolutely totally honest open and comfortable with each other,” Dolly, who has been married to businessman husband Carl Dean for 43 years, says. “We’ve been accused of being lovers. We do love each other, but we’ve never been like that.”

Dolly, who played Miley Cyrus‘ aunt in the last Hannah Montana movie, will not be reprising her role as Aunt Dolly in the new flick, but still plans to stay in touch with young people.

“In my older years, I’m going into that world of children,” Dolly says. “That’s the way to keep yourself young. Be childlike, not childish.”

Dolly may not be a celesbian, but there are plenty in our gallery! [Source: Yahoo; Photo: Getty Images]

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by (@katespencer)

Britney Spears Thinks It’s Christmas

Jamie Spears may have his daughter on a tight leash, guzzling a daily cocktail of antidepressants, but underneath it all she’s still the same old insane Britney Spears. Why, just this past Tuesday night the pop star got so caught up while rockin’ out at her Washington D.C. concert that she inexplicably screamed, “Merry Christmas!!!”

In the words of one of the girls caught on tape talking after the Santa Claus shout out: “that was weird.” Watch above (start at the 48 second mark).


Ashlee and Pete: Trouble In Emo-Town?

Uh-oh. Is the marriage between Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz in trouble? A source told Page Six that “Ashlee and Pete are on the rocks. He is going out all the time and she’s stuck at home. It’s just not working.”  Sounds like a case of the here’s-what-happens-when-you-have-an-unexpected-kid-too-young-itis. Another symptom of that is naming your kid Bronx Mowgli.

Seems like being stuck at home with 4-month-old Bronx tethered to the boob isn’t fun anymore, especially while Pete gets to go hang with his friends — or maybe Ashlee has just grown tired of helping to brush Pete’s hair forward into that spiky asymmetrical look he’s honed all these years. Reps deny that there’s trouble in paradise, but the couple is currently vacationing, sans baby. Perhaps they’re trying to revive that dying spark. They were married last May. [Photo: WireImage]


A Kobe Beef

Every time we watch Inside The Actor’s Studio and James Lipton asks someone “what profession would you never want to have?,” the answer is usually garbage collector, the world’s most universally reviled job. Turns out though, the real worst job ever is being Kobe Bryant‘s maid.

Bryant and his wife Vanessa are being sued by their former housekeeper Maria Jimenez for wrongful discharge, invasion of privacy and emotional distress and unpaid wages. Jimenez claims that, among other things, Vanessa made her reach her hand in a bag of dog poop to find a price tag for a shirt. Jimenez had put the shirt in the washing machine when she wasn’t supposed to and Vanessa made her retrieve the tag so that she would know how much Jimenez would owe her for the damages. Jimenez also claims that Vanessa called her “lazy, slow, dumb, a f*cking liar, and f*cking sh*t.” It’s kind of all coming together now why Kobe cheated on this woman.

The Bryant’s lawyers released a statement denying the charges, saying “The Bryants intend to vigorously defend against these untruthful allegations and are confident that the baseless nature of the allegations will be proven.” But it might be hard to prove any of this – we know that if we had to stick our hand in a bag of poop, we would have scrubbed all the evidence away with steel wool until no traces remained. [Source: TMZ; Photo: WireImage]


Idol Recap: Lambert Redeems Himself, Lil Rounds Stinks On Motown Night

Every week, the musical genre is supposed to “belong” to one or two specific contestants. Last week people figured Michael Sarver and his Texan oil-rigging ways would kill the country genre, but his performance was a barely intelligible, only just-good-enough performance. This week was Motown week with special mentor Smokey Robinson, and Kara DioGuardi said to Lil Rounds, “This was your week – if you don’t nail it, well, I don’t know.” Sure, plenty of stereotypes play into these assumptions (“Lil, you’re black, please represent Motown”), but the interesting thing is that they haven’t proven to be true yet and there’s always a surprising outcome and elimination as a result. We always figured Allison Iraheta would be a likely candidate to win heavy metal week, but who knew Motown would be her thing? Her performance was one of the best moments of the night, here are the rest (plus photos).

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5. The One Trick Ponies

Ever since “Mandolin Rain,” our problem with Scott MacIntyre is that he seems to Bruce Hornsbify all his songs. He has talent, yet somehow all his songs take on a bland, generic feeling. By contrast, Megan Joy was a fruit basket short of getting a job at the Copacabana last night – she was dressed somewhere between a Delia’s catalog model and Carmen Miranda, and despite that, her looks were the only thing the judges could compliment her on. When Paula Abdul told her, “Megan, your stunning beauty takes my breath away,” Simon Cowell retorted “It’s not Top Model.” Megan’s warble did no favors to Stevie Wonder’s “For Once In My Life” and Randy Jackson even went to far as to call it a trainwreck. It’s clear by now that Megan and Scott can’t win this competition because each of them is a one-trick pony. While Scott’s trick is being inoffensive and soft-rock-y, Megan’s is that she makes us wish our hearing would disappear.

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Citizen Scandal: Queen’s Face Replaced By Boy George On Banknotes

Staff at a stationary shop in Kent, England, were obviously asleep at the wheel when they accepted forged banknotes the other day. Because not only was the £20 note not real, it clearly had a photo of jailed 80s pop star Boy George where The Queen’s head usually is. “I was shocked, I couldn’t believe it — we’ve certainly had nothing like it before,” said a spokeswoman for the store. We’ve posted up photos of her Maj and the fallen pop idol (currently serving a 15-month jail sentence for falsely imprisoning a male escort) above. Can you tell the difference? [Photos: WireImage, Getty]