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by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: Just Shut Up And Get Pregnant Already, Paris

  • Prince Harry is back with his hot, blond girlfriend. Does America care? Probably not.  [DListed]
  • Denise Richards got booted off of Dancing With The Stars - consider it a present to Charlie Sheen‘s new babies.  [Seriously? OMG!]
  • As usual, Paris Hilton is planning on having a baby with her new, nobody boyfriend.  [Wonderwall]
  • Mariah Carey would have definitely bought these Bikini Jeans in the Sparkle era.  [Buzzfeed]
  • Did Matthew McConaughey propose to his baby mama?  [PITNB]
  • Rihanna is avoiding Chris Brown by house-hunting in weird, leather pants.  [PopSugar]
  • Lindsay Lohan blames her sucky career on, uh, us.  [GossipGirls]
  • Kate Moss may be on the cutting edge of style, but her ear is all 1984.  [BWE]

[Photo: FilmMagic]

by (@katespencer)

How To Snag A Hot Wife The Willis Way – And A Few Other Chicks Too

The NY Post reported this morning that hot-but-bald Bruce Willis snagged his new wife, Emma Heming (pictured above), by reviewing every casting choice for his movie Perfect Stranger a couple of years ago. An on-set source revealed, “He personally went through head shots and when the girls were called in to ‘read,’ he was there in the meeting. It was odd for the star of a movie to do so, but at the time he was single and I guess he needed a date.”

Bruce picked up cutie Tamara Feldman this way (they even had a sex scene in the flick) before moving on to Emma, who had a small speaking part. A spy exclusively tells Scandalist that the actor stole Emma away from club promoter (and Heidi’s boss on The Hills) Brent Bolthouse, who was apparently quite enamored with the 30-year-old model. But if he wants to get back at Bruce, it shouldn’t be hard – he could bed one of the other cuties Willis has supposedly sucked face with over the years.

Check out the gallery below to peep some of Bruce’s conquests, Demi and all.  [Photo: GettyImages]

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Edward The Stinky Vampire

Right about now on the set of the second Twilight film, New Moon, staffers are finding new and inventive ways to hold their noses — seems there’s a foul odor wafting around the set, and it belongs to Robert Pattinson.

Apparently Pattinson has taken to not showering so much these days. “He stinks. I mean, it’s awful. He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy,” a source on-set told E! Pattinson does seem to shun the typical L.A. scene and doesn’t care about his image (his brooding, thick-eyebrowed, sexy image…), but for the love of all that’s Downy fresh, we think he owes it to his co-workers to show up semi-groomed.

More pics (not scratch-and-sniff, thankfully) of Robert below…

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The Disturbing MySpace Page Of George Weber’s Alleged Murderer

John Katehis, a 16 year old from Queens, New york, admitted this morning to stabbing to death veteran radio newsman George Weber after the two met on Craigslist. Accorting to police, Weber had agreed to pay Katehis $60 in exchange for some form of rough sex. After drinking Vodka and doing cocaine with Weber, Katehis reportedly stabbed him so many times that it was difficult for authorities to get an accurate count of the knife wounds. Details about not only the gruesome killing but also the teen murder suspect are starting to surface. Here are 10 things we learned earlier today about Katehis from his MySpace page, which has already been canceled. Warning: what follows is disturbing.

1. Katehis listed his occupation on MySpace as “Anarchist” and claimed to make a salary between $75,000 and $100,000.

2. Katehis has a penchant for Satanism, and posted 15 photos depicting disturbing Satanic scenes — one depicts Satan serving the flesh and blood of a murdered Jesus Christ at The Last Supper.

3. Katehis describes his taste in music as “Metal,and Hard Rock along with some Oldies, Soft Rock, Psy Trance, Techno, Psychedelic, Ambient, Gothic, Alternative, and Punk.” Specifically, he’s a fan of Motley Crue, Ozzy Osbourne, Marilyn Manson and a bunch of Satanic and/or Anarchistic bands we’ve never heard of.

4. Katehis has a knife collection that he describes as “small but growing.” It includes at least eight blades, such as “The Fury,” “Short Combat Blade,” “The Claw” and a “12-inch Blade.”

5. Katehis created a YouTube channel to store his “crank call videos.” Like a violent, not-funny-at-all version of The Jerky Boys, he berates, curses at, and threatens the people on the other end of the phone.

6. Among the “normal” activities that Katehis enjoys: long conversations, bike riding, video games and hanging out.

7. Among the not-so-normal: roof hopping, hanging off trains, extreme violence and violent movies.

8. Choice quote from Katehis’ “About Me” section: “if you disrespect me, then i will f*cking break your neck.”

9. Katehis’ only blog post is about LaVeyan Satanism, a religion founded in 1966, which is “based on magic and occultists,” and teaches “individualism, self-indulgence, and ‘eye for an eye’ morality, and teachings from Friedrich Nietzsche and Ayn Rand.

10. Katehis posted this image under his “heroes.”

Photos from John Katehis’ now-defunct MySpace page:

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SPOTTED: March

In today’s Spotted, we have two exes across town and a curvy former Baywatch babe strolling with her new younger beau. See who Scandalist spotted and contribute your own celebrity sightings by e-mailing us here.

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by (@katespencer)

Screech Gets Sued Again

We once spent a great deal of time watching Celebrity Fit Club, and thus can declare this with the utmost authority: Dustin Diamond is a total douchebag. He’s the worst kind of reality TV villain in that watching him is the least enjoyable part of the show, and he lacks the cunning and wit to really play the part.

He’s struggled with financial drama for a long time (just where did all that Saved By The Bell cash go?) – in 2006 he faced the foreclosure of his house and tried to raise money by selling t-shirts. And, ya know, he made that porno. Now the idiot formerly known as Screech is being sued by a local energy company, after neglecting to pay his utilities bill on his Wisconsin home. Diamond currently owes $2,079 to We Energies, and has until April 15th to respond to the lawsuit.

Any reality TV producers out there need a washed-up actor to round out their cast?   [Photo: GettyImages]

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Help Scandalist Grow Its E-Wang!

Two jokers/geniuses in Holland have made our Hump Day with their creation of ePenis. The site’s sole function is illustrating how your Twitter popularity plays out as a virtual peen. Scandalist is currently a measly 13.19 cm (5.2 inches). Start following us to make it grow! [Source: Buzzfeed]

See measurements of some fellow, well-endowed Twitters after the jump.

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by (@katespencer)

Jay-Z Made Rihanna Dump Chris Brown

Jay-Z apparently instructed his protege Rihanna to get as far away as possible from her (allegedly) abusive boyfriend Chris Brown. “Jay-Z told Rihanna she needs to cut things out with Chris, at least in public,” said an insider. While we wish Jay had told her to can Chris altogether, we’re glad someone has talked some sense into RiRi’s stylish brain. He really is the most influential man in hip-hop!

Chris, meanwhile, is still hiding out in Virginia, apparently emerging only for the utmost important reasons, like buying 14 baseball caps at a Lids store. He even took time to chat up the salesperson, who then of course blabbed about the entire conversation. “He said, ‘It’s not what it seems’ about the Rihanna situation,” Shavon Bradshaw revealed. We have a hard time believing Chris is really gonna open up about a legal situation to a Lids salesclerk, but whatever you say, Shavon!  [MSNBC. Photo: GettyImages]

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Simon Cowell’s Calendar Too Full For Obama

Some news from the “Really? Seriously??” department: Simon Cowell claims that President Obama invited him to dinner but Simon’s schedule was so darn hectic that he had to turn the Commander In Chief down. Honestly, Simon? You’ll keep Bikini Girl around for a few extra weeks but you didn’t have time for the President? Now we’re really starting to wonder about you …

Cowell was a guest on the Tonight Show earlier in the week and told host Jay Leno that Obama called him while he was visiting L.A. and wanted to have dinner. Says Cowell, “He wanted to do 8, I was free at 9 and we just didn’t quite connect,” to which Leno responded, “What were you doing, getting your teeth whitened?”

We have to say, we’re curious what Cowell’s plans were, too. It seems like a personal phone call to hang out with the President should kinda preempt your previous plans.  Last week on Obama’s visit to the Tonight Show he likened his critics in Washington to Cowell, so maybe Obama just wanted to be berated by the real thing to toughen himself up.

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Akon Employee Allegedly Robbed By Suge Knight’s Crew

TMZ is reporting that Christopher Walker, an employee who works for Detail, Akon‘s producer, had an unpleasant night last night when his home was robbed by five armed men who work for Suge Knight.

The men claimed they were there to collect a debt that Detail owed Knight, and poor Walker’s house got ransacked as a result. Between $200,000 and $300,000 worth of merchandise was taken, including $170,000 worth of jewelry, the keys to a Mercedes, and a 130-pound safe.

The longstanding feud between Akon and Suge came to a head last February at NBA All-Star weekend when a man from Akon’s camp, Robert Carnes, Jr., punched Suge in the face because of the debt. Do Akon and his people know that you don’t mess with Suge? Doesn’t everyone remember the Vanilla Ice Behind The Music, where Vanilla described being hung out a hotel window with Suge holding him by the ankles? And that was just Vanilla Ice! Clearly if you owe the man money, and you’re as big as Akon, you shouldn’t keep having your people punch him in the head.

Detectives are currently at the scene of the crime in Van Nuys, CA but we’re wondering how much there is to detect when your thieves tell the victim why they’re there and who they’re collecting a debt for.  [Photos: WireImage, Getty Images]