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MTV’s Europe Music Awards Borrows Perez’s Loud Mouth

The celebrity blogger and tireless self-promoter Perez Hilton is bringing his brand of manic-mouthed commentary to Liverpool, where he’ll serve as digital host of the MTV Europe Music Awards on Nov. 6. Not one to mince words, Perez says “if Amy Winehouse isn’t dead by then, I’m going to bring her out of rehab and we’re going to f*ck shit up.”

The real host of the night is singer Katy Perry, who is a nominee for Best New Act — a category in which she was beat out by Tokio Hotel at the American version of the show last month. Performers include Beyonce, Duffy, Pink, Kid Rock and The Killers. After the jump, read a list of this year’s nominees and visit MTV’s Europe Music Awards website to cast your votes.

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Ron Howard Embarrasses Himself For Obama With Andy Griffith, The Fonz

Unlike most child stars, Ron Howard hasn’t made a fool of himself by cashing in on America’s affection for Happy Days and The Andy Griffith Show. He has an Oscar. He runs Imagine Enteraintment, a production company that has been behind everything from American Gangster to 24 to Changeling to Arrested Development. He doesn’t have any reason to parade his aging ass around for nostalgia’s sake. Until now.

To show how strongly he feels about supporting Barack Obama in the Funny Or Die clip above, Howard strips his clothes, shaves his beard, dons a wig and picks up a fishing pole so he can chat with TV daddy Andy Griffith in black and white. He then puts on his finest ’50s duds to cavort with Henry Winkler, better known as the Fonz. Seems the Fonz is an Obamacon, and this close to admitting he was wr-wr-wr-wr-WRONG to elect Bush.

Whether or not this will affect anyone’s vote, it’s still surprising to see Howard subject himself to this treatment. After the jump, check out a classic SNL skit from 1982, where Eddie Murphy drives him into a rage by refusing to believe that he’s actually a director—and not a virgin.

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by (@katespencer)

Madonna Is Bloody Mad At Guy

Surprise, surprise. Her marriage didn’t quite go her way, and now Madonna is so furious with her ex Guy Ritchie that she’s involved in some serious Kaballah-sanctioned anger management therapy. She’s even using a personal counselor on the road who guides her through her deep, resentful rage. Madge is all pissed because details of their relationship have leaked to the press (Guy’s fault, in her eyes) and he’s apparently trying to snag loads of her cash in the settlement. Maybe she should have just listened to BFF Gwyneth Paltrow and made it work for the kids – and her privacy and bank account?

Her Kaballah advisor is telling Madonna that, “she will meet her soulmate — but first has to calm her anger.” Couldn’t Madonna just be her own soulmate? It’d be a hell of a lot easier, and probably even warrant her own special Oprah episode!  And really, who else can stand her?

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Caught On Video: Woman Adandons Baby On Church Steps

Sarah Christianson gave birth alone outside of her apartment, wrapped her newborn in a towel, and then took her to a Federal Way, WA church and left the baby on the front steps. Unfortunately for her, the whole thing was captured on the church’s surveillance video. Sarah claims she thought the church was a “safe haven” for her to leave her baby girl, whom she felt she could not emotionally and financially care for. The baby was discovered 5 and 1/2 hours later by a church member, and was suffering from hypothermia due to the chilly 49 degree weather.

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Cloris Leachman Is Scaring Dancing With The Stars

You might be laughing at Cloris Leachman‘s surprising stamina on Dancing With The Stars, but insiders on the show are tired of her shtick and scared the Oscar winner’s shenanigans are going to capsize the show. According to a source for the Chicago Sun-Times, “There are deep concerns that people are going to tune out, thinking this has become a big joke and not the serious though entertaining dance competition it’s supposed to be…People joked it must be a whole lot of CBS, NBC andFox executives getting everyone they know to vote for Cloris—to try and wreck the show.”

Whatevs! The problem is an inversion of what Fox deals with almost every year on American Idol. Questionably talented cutiepies like John Stevens, Sanjaya and Jason Castro lasted well past their sell-by date because execs couldn’t get young girls to stop voting for them. Now CBS, with its phalanx of elderly viewers, has to deal with a bloc of seniors (and rofl-hounds) who can’t get enough of this golden girl. Who cares if she’s pissing off Susan Lucci? Who cares if Toni Braxton was a better dancer? You can’t whine about a “serious dance competition” when you bring on freakshows like Kim Kardashian. Live by the stuntcast, die by the stuntcast.

[Photo: Getty Images]

by (@katespencer)

The Olsen Twins Are More Boring Than You

Feeling bad about yourself because your Friday night plans include the first season of Gossip Girl on DVD, an order of saag paneer, and that really nice bottle of Trader Joe’s wine that you’ve been saving? Well get ready for your ego to inflate – because your life is officially more interesting than the Olsen twins‘ Hollywood existence! Mary-Kate and Ashley sat down with Oprah Winfrey yesterday to promote their new book, Influence, and all we learned is that they rise early, live apart, and eat bagels and omelettes for breakfast. That’s it. Apparently Oprah thought that the twins were born in 2008, and skipped over all those juicy skeletons they keep crammed in their walk-in closets: Mary-Kate’s eating disorder, her involvement in Heath Ledger‘s death, their many drunk Hollywood nights, and the beds full of $1000 bills that they sleep in at night. Okay, the last one was made up by yours truly, but it wouldn’t surprise us if it was true.

Feel like snoozing? The most boring clip of all can be found here.  [Photo: WireImage]

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Will Ferrell Resurrects Bush On SNL, Broadway

The big surprise on Thursday’s SNL Weekend Update special was the return of Will Ferrell as George Bush, who gave an unwelcome public endorsement to an anxious John McCain (Darrell Hammond) and chipper Sarah Palin (Tina Fey). Jason Sudeikis, who plays Bush on the show when comedy megastars aren’t around to do it, made an appearance as Palin’s husband Todd.

One reason Ferrell might have made the appearance was to get buzz going on his upcoming one-man Broadway show. The Talladega Nights star will perform as George Bush in You’re Welcome America. A Final Night with George W Bush starting February 1st, with previews beginning January 20th. Ferrell will also bring out such loved SNL characters as Robert Goulet and James Lipton, and sharing anecdotes from his days with the long-running sketch show. Fans might need to hustle for tickets, though—it’s only schedule to run for a month and a half.

Check out some more clips of Ferrell playing Bush after the jump.

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Miley’s Dad Tries To Stop Her From Doing It

It’s heartening that even our teenage megastars have to endure the OMG-please-don’t-say-the-’s’-word chat from parents. Perhaps sparked into action by recent Scandalist posts (we like to perform our social duty), Cyrus Papa, Billy Ray, recently sat down young jailbait star Miley to give her a talk about the birds and the bees.

“We brought Miley up with good morals and strong religion, but she’s at that age where she is bound to be experimenting and her hormones are going nuts,” the predictable “friend” of Mr Achy Breaky Heart told The Sun. “I told her in no uncertain terms that her career would be over if something stupid were to happen and she would no longer be a role model for young girls, something she takes very seriously.”

Euphemism-tastic, Dad! Yes, Miley needs to be careful of “something stupid,” while “experimenting.” God forbid a teenage girl should think about boys in, you know, that way. Do the words “horse,” “stable door” and “bolted” mean anything to you? [Source: The Sun, photo: Getty Images]

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Angelina Will Marry Brad Because Of Shrek

Yes, we’ve been willing it for years — just think of the wedding pictures! Gasp! — but it seems a poorly-voiced animated green monster will be the glue that finally unites Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Giving an interview to Italian Vanity Fair, Angie discusses why she and Brad haven’t tied the knot yet, and why their kids are nagging at them to show some fricking respect and do it, already.

“Usually people fall in love and everything revolves around the ritual of marriage, children are an afterthought. We did everything backwards. But sooner or later it will be the kids who ask us [to get married]. You know, they see films and start asking questions. Such as, ‘Why are Shrek and Fiona married and you’re not?’”

Well, Angie, you could always wriggle out of it by explaining that Shrek and Fiona aren’t married because they don’t exist in real life? We jest. Don’t make Shiloh cry, please. She also half-promised to stop acting and focus on the Brangelina Bunch: “The kids are my priority, so it’s possible that from now on I will make fewer movies. I may even stop altogether.” Well, we’ve heard this all before , so we won’t hold our breath. [Source: Daily Mail, Photo: Getty Images]

by (@katespencer)

Wino Misses Blake, Speaks In Complete Sentences

Apparently the French are the most aggressive investigative reporters in the world. Take the lady in the above video clip, for example, who showed up at Amy Winehouse‘s London abode and preceeded to interview her via Amy’s intercom. The voice on the other end is surprisingly clear, articulate and kind – could Amy be undergoing some sort of transformation behind the gated walls of her flat? Eh, either that, or the drugs had just kicked in. If you don’t have the patience to start your morning off with a nice tall glass of Wino, here’s a quick round up of what you’re missing: Amy misses Blake, loves France, and is apparently putting an album together. Splendid! [via DListed]