The Bill Ayers Scanda-List

Who is he?

  • Bill Ayers, a Distinguished Professor at the University of Illinois in Chicago, and a former ’60s radical involved in the SDS and Weather Underground.
  • Ayers participated in a series of bombings in the late ’60s and early ’70s, whose targets included the New York City police headquarters and the Pentagon. Ayers turned himself over to authorities in 1980, and eventually became an active part in the reforming of the Chicago educational system.

Why is everyone talking about him?

  • Ayers served with future Senator Barack Obama on the board of an anti-poverty foundation from 1999 to 2002, and the pair frequently appeared together at academic panel discussions. Ayers also held a “meet-and-greet” for Obama in 1996, where State Senator Alice Palmer introduced him as her preferred candidate at for the State Senate Primary.
  • Senator Hillary Clinton criticized Obama’s connections to Ayers during the Democratic primary, and the campaign for Senator John McCain, Obama’s opponent in current presidential election, has used their connection in attacks on Obama’s character. Governor Sarah Palin, McCain’s Vice-Presidential nominee, has suggested that Obama is “palling around with terrorists.”

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The Charles Keating Scanda-List

Who is he?

  • Charles Keating, former lawyer and chairman of Lincoln Savings & Loan.
  • In the 1990s, Keating was found guilty of conspiracy, fraud and racketeering after Lincoln S&L collapsed, eradicating the life savings of 21,000 investors. The government buyout cost taxpayers billions.

Why is everyone talking about him?

  • In 1989, five U.S. senators (including John McCain and former astronaut John Glenn) were investigated for obstruction of justice for their interference with a regulatory investigation of Keating, a major campaign contributor for the five, two years earlier. McCain, while exonerated of any criminal activity, was faulted by the Senate Ethics Committee for poor judgment.
  • Senator Barack Obama, McCain’s opponent in the current presidential election, has released a short documentary on the case, Keating Economics, which argues that the scandal is indicative of both McCain’s enthusiasm for economic deregulation and willingness to work with lobbyists at the expense of taxpayers.

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Paris Threatens To Unleash Kids Onto World (Again)

Ever since bleached tramp Paris Hilton wandered into our lives, the harlot with the sex tape of gold has told everyone who would listen how badly she wants to have kids. No matter the man, Paris is always planning on making him into the daddy du jour. Most recently, Paris again stated her intent, to People magazine at her sister’s birthday party. “I definitely want three or four [children],” she said. “Soon.”

We’d probably be terrified at this prospect, if we actually thought Paris was serious about this threat. You see, we’ve been getting our hopes up for tanorexic toddlers for years now. Check out a brief history of Paris telling everyone how ready to be a mom she is.

“I’d love to [have babies] in the next couple years.”
Entertainment Tonight, February 3, 2008

“I was like, ‘Oh my god I need a baby now so that our kids will be able to play together like we did.’”
People magazine, November 28, 2007

“Yeah! But I don’t have anyone to have one with.”
In answer to the question of whether she wants to have kids on Ellen, November 2007

“I wanna have like a family and a guy. I just started working out and it feels great. It gives me so much energy. I want kids next year, so I’ve got to get my body ready.”
British Elle, September 13, 2007

“I know in my heart of hearts I would be a great mother. I have a lot of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel that I would have a lot to give to my children…And I don’t want to be an old mom — hopefully it’ll happen soon.”
The London Mirror, July 5, 2006

“I want a large family…I want to name them London and Paris and I was thinking China. But I already know a couple of Chinas so I don’t want that one now.”
July 2006

“I want to find the perfect person to marry when I’m 25 or 26. I want to be a young, cool mother, like my mom, who had me at 19…I want to have three kids — a boy first, to protect the girls.”
UsWeekly, July 28, 2004


The ‘Karate Monkey’ Earns A Black Belt. Cool Trick? Or Animal Abuse?

Yachan, a monkey that lives in a town near Tokyo, has become so proficient in martial arts that he’s earned a black belt. He breaks wooden panels with kicks and punches. He spars with his sensei. He also delivers drinks to the customers of his owner’s bar. Some may think a karate-chopping, bartending monkey is cute and harmless. But here at Scandalist we’re skeptics.

First, we wonder about his owner’s motives. Does he make money off of Yachan’s karate skills or is it simply that a daily regimen of sit-ups and push-ups does a monkey good? We also wonder how Yachan was trained. Is he punished when he wants to skip practice to lie around and eat bananas? And, lastly, is it really a good idea to teach a monkey how to fight?

Remember the man that lost his nose and a testicle after visiting an ape in a California animal sanctuary? Chimps, of course, are bigger and more powerful than Yachan. Still, it may be best for everyone if monkeys are left out in the wild.


EXCLUSIVE: Double Trouble At The Playboy Mansion

The Playboy Mansion has some new residents! A source reveals exclusively to Scandalist, “A set of 19-year-old twins have already moved into the mansion.” Hef certainly has no shortage of potential girlfriend replacements following his statement that his relationships with Girls Next Door Holly Madison, Bridget Marquardt, and Kendra Wilkinson are “in transition.” Hef was spotted chatting up two brunettes recently, and apparently wasted no time asking these two new identical bubbly blondes to unload their UHauls at his pad.

Reportedly the twins are making themselves quite at home already. Our source reveals, “Friday night they had mansion movie night and showed the original 1937 version of A Star Is Born. They wouldn’t leave Hef’s side and they were already walking around the mansion like they owned the place!”

Wonder what Holly Madison has to say about that! Apparently a lot. Check out the video clip below of Holly on Chelsea Lately, where she acknowledges she was replaced by twins and awkwardly insists that she and rumored beau Criss Angel are “just friends.”

Related Scandalist Content:
Introducing Hef’s new twins (pics!)
EXCLUSIVE: Holly Out Of Hef’s Bedroom, Sharing Bathroom With Twin Replacements
Holly Blogs About Split From Hef

by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: Courtney’s Skinny Secret?

  • The Scientologists think they can rehab Amy Winehouse.  [DListed]
  • Bikini break with Nicolette Sheridan. She looks surprisingly good, though desperate as always.  [Seriously? OMG!]
  • Hot Olympic porn! Finally – something the ladies can get into.  [BestWeekEver]
  • Elisabeth Hasselbeck keeps giving Barbara Walters more reasons to kick her in the knee.  [Jezebel]
  • Ridiculous rumor of the day: Courtney Love lost all that weight with gastric bypass.  [I'mNotObsessed]
  • Remembering Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey‘s love via Cabbage Patch Dolls. Creepy (their love, not the dolls)!  [MTVBuzzworthy]

by (@katespencer)

Jessica Biel To Become Mrs. Timberlake?

Did Justin Timberlake get down on one sexy knee and beg the grumpy-faced Jessica Biel to be his bride? That’s the rumor coming out of Italy, where he supposedly proposed while visiting the country for her 7th Heaven costar Beverly Mitchell‘s wedding. “Jessica is over the moon and looking forward to a huge wedding,” said a source. JT apparently did the deed in Rome, where the two have been spotted roaming the ancient city arm in arm. We’ll believe it when we see some sort of billion dollar ring on her hand and Cameron Diaz is freaking out trying to win him back. Until then, we smell some wishful thinking!  [Hello Magazine. Photo: Splash News Online]


Anne Hathaway: How To Turn Controversy Into Oscar Buzz

While Oscar nominations won’t be out for months, Anne Hathaway is already a lock for her performance in Rachel Getting Married, with many already ready to hand her the trophy itself. But what about Raffaello Follieri, you ask? Won’t her four-year relationship with an international con artist weird out voters? Not after her high-profile publicity campaign for the movie, which has found her mocking the traumatic experience on Letterman, Good Morning America and SNL (“I broke up with my Italian boyfriend and two weeks later he was sent to prison for fraud. I mean, we’ve all been there. Am I right, ladies?”). The aplomb with which she’s acknowledging the drama is both admirable (nobody’s gonna hold her down!) and a little disconnected (would you enjoy giving comedy monologues about a long-term boyfriend you may have turned state’s witness on before dumping?). For better or worse, she’s chosen to stare down “the elephant in the room” (as she’s called it), rather than ignore it. And it looks like it’s working!

Hathaway wouldn’t be the first actress to spin negative publicity to her advantage. Elizabeth Taylor’s reputation was ruined after she stole husband Eddie Albert from former friend Debbie Reynolds, but a near-death brush with illness got Taylor what even she called a “sympathy Oscar” for Butterfield 8. Hollywood loves a good recovery story, and it doesn’t hurt that people actually enjoy Hathaway’s performance in Rachel Getting Married.  Or that she was great on SNL. Or that she’s got that whole Julia Roberts deafening smile thing going on. It’s hard to hold anything against a smile like that.

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by (@katespencer)

Pink: My Hubby’s Penis Was Pretty!

We love Pink‘s “I don’t give a f*ck” attitude almost as much as we adore her vulnerable side that often peeks out in her songs. Her new single “So What” – which tackles her break up from ex-husband Carey Hart in a playful and rebellious anthem – captures both sides of the singer so perfectly that it’s no wonder the song is currently number one all over the place. So it only made us swoon even harder when we read this recent response from the singer, when asked what she misses most about her man. Her answer?

” I really loved my husband’s penis. It was really pretty.”

Dare we make a “pretty in Pink” joke here? That seems a little crass, but we bet she’d approve! [The Mirrior: Photo: WireImage]