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by (@katespencer)

Dominos Workers Who Farted On Food Fired And Wanted By Cops

Dominos Pizza has apologized for the asinine actions of two employees who videotaped themselves sticking food up their nose and sneezing and farting on meals they were preparing. The pair was promptly fired, and now the fast food chain is reportedly filing a criminal complaint against the two idiots, with police issuing a felony warrant for their arrest. Their crime? Grossing out the entire country. The pizza pros are also apparently pursuing a civil suit against the bored booger-pickers.

You can watch their masterpiece above – just make sure you’re not about to eat pizza.

by (@katespencer)

Hulk: I Could Have Killed My Wife

Hulk Hogan

We have a feeling Hulk Hogan is gonna regret this statement! The granddaddy of wrestling recently went off to Rolling Stone magazine, revealing that he’s had the urge to get all homicidal on his ex wife’s ass. Gulp. Here’s what he had to say about Linda Logan – who Hulk claims has been blowing $40,000 of his money each month:

“I could have turned everything into a crime scene, like OJ, cutting everybody’s throat. You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can’t go to anymore, you’re driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife . . . I totally understand OJ. I get it.”

Perhaps the Hulk is trying to say that he can relate to the rage one feels when a relationship goes sour. But when we read his rambling, it sounds to us like he’s saying that he can understand why OJ Simpson snuck up on and murdered his estranged wife and sliced up her friend . What do you think he was trying to say?  [NYPost. Photo: GettyImages]

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Hef Wants Holly Madison To Find Love Again

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Although they went through a big public split last year, Hugh Hefner still cares about his three Girls Next Door, Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson, and Bridget Marquardt, and dishes out some advice to his three former girlfriends.

On Holly and her breakup from magician Criss Angel: “My conviction has always been, being a romantic, that the best solution for a failed romance is a new romance”

On Bridget and her new beau, Nick Carpenter: “The major problem for her, quite frankly, is that she’s not here alot. She’s got this wonderful dream job for the Travel Channel, she’s wandering the globe. We’ll see how that plays out, whether she’s really contemplating making this more serious.”

On bride-to-be Kendra Wilkinson: “I’ve been very lucky in romance, but not expert in marriage (two divorces). They are two separate things. What happens traditionally in a marriage is, of course, a marriage turns into parenthood and the affection is kind of transferred to the children. She picked very well, I think he adores her, I think she really loves him. What they have to get over is they come from very different backgrounds. If love conquers all, it’ll conquer them.” [Source: People; Photo: Getty Images]

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Idol Recap: Bad Songs From Cinema And The Contestants That Love Them

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When we heard that the theme for this week’s American Idol was songs from cinema, we were psyched and thought we’d hear “Diamonds Are Forever” from Adam Lambert (of all the contestants, he’s the one with an inner Eartha Kitt), or we thought maybe Anoop Desai would sing “Gangster’s Paradise”, there are plenty of kickass choices that would have suited these contestants really well. Alas, we got two Bryan Adam‘s songs that haunted us through high school and that will continue to haunt us for the next 24 hours, and one “Born to Be Wild” (shudder) among others. Quentin Tarantino was the mentor (and awesomely, Idol couldn’t even plug his upcoming film Inglourious Bastards because the title is too racy for the 8 o’clock hour), and as tiresome as his manic craziness can be, we had actually hoped for more Tarantino. We did enjoy a few moments from the show though.

Read more…

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Jessica Alba Goes Blond, Forgets Underwear

Unlike many starlets who’ve recently gone brunette – like Scarlett Johansson and um, Katie PriceJessica Alba stepped out yesterday working a new blond look. The star showed off her new honey-colored highlights following a playdate in Santa Monica with her daughter Honor. She may have remembered to go to the hairdresser, but clearly Jess is still suffering from baby-brain, as she forgot to put on her knickers that morning. Never mind — one out of two isn’t bad.

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Jacko Cancels Auction Of Creepy Children Crap

jacko

Michael Jackson has obtained a last-minute injunction preventing the sale of nearly all items from his Neverland ranch in a proposed auction sale.  Jacko sued Julien Auctions to halt their sale last month, despite the company already opening an exhibition in Los Angeles to promote the auction. It’s a shame, we were thinking of bidding on that baby orgy decanter. Or perhaps the naked boy standing on a snail. There were so many choices! [Photo: Getty Images]

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Gwyneth, J.Lo Dispel Marriage Rumors With Baby Talk

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Both Gwyneth Paltrow and Jennifer Lopez have been the subject of rumors about the allegedly parlous state of their marriages recently — and don’t think they don’t know it. Why else would both of them start waxing lyrical about the joys of motherhood and babies in this weeks’ issue of New! magazine, if not to drive it home that they’re REALLY VERY HAPPY THANK YOU?

“[Children] enrich your life in the most incredible way…At first I thought, “OK, that’s it, I’m done, no way will I have more.” Then my son turned two and you think, “Oh, I don’t want this to be the last two year old [I have]. Maybe I’ll do one more,” Gwyneth says. (Translation: Me and Chris are still doing it. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!)

Whereas Jennifer chimes in in another interview, “Marc and I are enjoying being parents so much… Marc is so great. He gets up in the night and lets me sleep because I’m with them all day, for 18 hours, so he helps me then. He is all night and I am all day – that is how we do it.” (Translation: We are a TEAM. Marc and I are TOGETHER. OK?)

OK, we get it. No more nasty rumors until the next one of you “accidentally” forgets to wear their wedding ring in public. [Photos: Splash News Online]

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David Hasselhoff Plans To Pimp Out Daughters

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Not content with Burger-gate and Crotch-gate, David Hasselhoff really wants to embarrass his daughters further by styling himself as some sort of tipsy Svengali Papa. Just like Joe Simpson, Jamie Spears and Billy Ray Cyrus before him, The Hoff sees his daughters Taylor-Ann and Hayley Amber as the latest tool for him to grab a slice of the fame pie, and wants to launch them as a singing pop duo.  He’s even reached out to Take That band member Gary Barlow to lend his writing credentials to The Hoff Hotstars (our name, not theirs).

“I’ve been inspired by the success of Billy Ray Cyrus and his daughter Miley. If anything my girls have double the talent. What I need is a good songwriter and Gary is a genius in my book,” he tells New! magazine.

Do we need to voice our immediate thought that this is a disaster in the offing? Nope. Thought not. Because it’s blindingly obvious. [Photos: WireImage]

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Project Runway‘s Kenley Pleads Guilty In Literal Cat-Fight Case

kenley collins

Kenley Collins, the Project Runway season 5 contestant you loved to hate, has pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct. She was originally charged with felony assault for throwing her cat—among other things—at her sleeping fiancee, but the victim, Zak Penley, never required treatment for his injuries and the charges were reduced.

Collins is on probation and will have to pay $120 and is prohibited from contacting her ex for two years. She told authorities she put the cat on the bed “gently,” which actually makes even less sense than throwing a confused animal at the guy. No word on whether she stomped and huffed “that’s not…ughh…” during the sentencing, but it’s easy to imagine.

[Photo: WireImage]

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Gossip Break: President Pratt

Pres. Spencer Pratt

Spencer Pratt wants to be a politician…and why not. [PopSugar]

Lil’ Wayne on Marilyn Monroe, if she wasn’t dead: “I would do whatever she asks and whatever she’s never had done to her. And I swear I’d do it good!” That’s just how Arthur Miller got her. [Dlisted]

Martha Stewart‘s company fired an employee after they broke their spine. Brutal! [Gawker]

If the media was like it is now in 1999, Melissa Joan Hart thinks she totally could have been Lindsay Lohan. We don’t believe her. [PopEater]

Speaking of LiLo, that Funny Or Die video had improvisation and all kinds of impressive thespian stuff in it. Hear that, producers? Hire her! [Wonderwall]

Sometimes sitcoms are worse without the laugh track. [Videogum]