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Catherine Zeta Jones Has A Bad Bronzer Day

You might not even recognize her, but the frazzled woman seeming to suffer from sunstroke above is Catherine Zeta-Jones. How did this reliably beautiful actress show up looking so splotchy at the 2008 UN Global Leadership Awards last night? A Socialite’s Life wonders if she was “huffing gold paint in the limo,” but we’d like to throw out a kinder theory. Maybe she and husband Michael Douglas, who hosted the event, accidentally rubbed off her eyebrows and mixed facial treatments during a frenetic make-out session just before arriving. Shit like the Global Leadership Awards probably gets them real hot.

[Photo: WireImage]

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by (@katespencer)

Steve Fossett’s Wrecked Plane Found

Authorities believe that they have found the wreckage of a plane belong to adventurer Steve Fossett – the adventurer who went missing flying over the Nevada desert just over a year ago. A hiker found the the plane – which apparently hit the mountainside in a hard-impact crash – after discovering his ID card and a $100 bill. His body has not yet been discovered, but experts believe it was eaten by animals, which may mean there’s nothing to find. Still, the wreckage may put to rest speculation that Fossett faked his own death to “escape personal or financial problems, or to secure an insurance payout for his wife of 39 years, Peggy.” [Photo: GettyImages]

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Sandra Bernhard Pulled From Benefit For Palin Gang-Rape Joke

Sandra Bernhard might say she meant Sarah Palin “no harm” when she suggested in September that the VP nominee would be “gang-raped by her big black brothers” if she stepped foot in Manhattan, but the Boston women’s shelter Rosie’s Place still isn’t laughing. Bernhard has been pulled from headlining an upcoming benefit for the charity. ” “We don’t think violence against women is a laughing matter,” said P.R. director Leemarie Mosca.

Bernhard has responded that’s she’s “terribly upset” and that “In no way am I making any sort of joke about crimes against women — quite the contrary. I’m speaking out about someone who doesn’t do enough to protect women,” Bernhard said. “I think if you look at the real issues I’m addressing, my intent becomes clear.”

Maybe Bernhard needs to realize that even if your intent is to criticize someone who defines feminism as believing “women certainly today have every opportunity that a man has to succeed,” it’s incredibly facetious to say that a joke that crests around the idea of a woman being sexually assaulted isn’t “a joke about crimes against women.” But hey, if you want to cry victim because a woman’s shelter thinks you’re tasteless, go ahead.

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Afternoon Snack: Kate Moss’ 18K Crotch

Kate Moss, and her groin, have been immortalized in solid gold by British sculptor Marc Quinn. Referring to the supermodel as a “modern-day Aphrodite,” the artist unveiled his sculpture at the opening of the British Museum’s Statuephilia exhibition this morning. Want to take a closer look at what may be the largest gold statue made in the world since Ancient Egyptian times? Hop the pond before January 25th, when it’ll be auctioned off for charity.

See Quinn’s earlier sculptures of Moss below:

[Photo: Splash News Online]

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Kim Kardashian: My Booty ‘Hurt Me’

Recent Dancing With The Stars castoff Kim Kardashian feels that her famous tush put her at a disadvantage with the judges. “I think it hurt me,” Kim told the ladies of The View this morning. Kim relayed that she felt frustrated because she focused on her facial expressions and emotions, as the judges had suggested previously, but then lost points for not shaking it and “using her best asset.” Kim also confirmed that she was extremely emotional after her loss. Not only did Kim get knocked off the show, but it was also the anniversary of her father Robert Kardashian‘s death. “That was a hard day for me in general,” Kim said. “It was emotional.” [Photo:Getty]

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Diddy Hides In Bed From Palin, Records Vlog Under The Covers

A lot of us were disturbed when Sarah Palin wouldn’t—or couldn’t—name a single newspaper she regularly reads (“oh, all of them!”), but none more so than Diddy, who scurried under the covers with a flashlight and recorded this Blair Witch-y vlog. “She’s worse than the boogeyman…she could be president!” With all his hyperventilating and unsettling shrieks, you’d think he could see dead people (John McCain‘s not there quite yet).

Whether not you agree with him, one needs to realize that Diddy has filmed himself whimpering. Whimpering. Diddy, the man who once stared down Godzilla himself.

To see our hero in such a state is truly cause for concern.

by (@katespencer)

Did LC Hook Up With Audrina’s Boyfriend?!

Please, please let this be true. Nothing would make our little lives better than for Lauren Conrad to betray her wonk-eyed BFF Audrina Patridge by hooking up with her man-boy Justin Bobby. On the show, Lauren loathes the mute-but-hot hairdresser/model, but spies are whispering that she actually hooked up with him behind the brunette’s back, and now their friendship is officially dunzo. Their gal pal break up is apparently playing out on their MySpace pages: each has removed the other from their Top Friends, and Audrina’s mood is listed as “betrayed.” Lauren herself is “busy” – maybe she meant to write “gettin’ busy…with Audrina’s mumbling boyfriend. Suckah!” [E! Online. Photo: WireImage]

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Shia LaBeouf Gets An Owie On Transformers 2 Set, Needs Stitches

Shia LaBeouf received a cut above his eyebrow while filming a scene for Transformers 2 at the Holloman Air Force base in New Mexico. Despite requiring stitches, Shit The Beef was back on set as soon as the swelling went down. One soldier praised The Beef’s triumph over adversity and addiction to nicotine:

He was treated at the clinic at the airforce base by Colonel Torres and then a local ophthalmologist came by to check on his eye. He was in the clinic for about four hours and then he returned to the set once the swelling had gone down. We were all pretty impressed.

Shia’s making a lot of friends on the set of this film – he’s a real guy who smokes like a fiend. To get up from a movie explosion, which leaves you injured, and get back in there is cool. He’s got broken fingers from his car crash this summer and now his eyelid has been slashed open. I guess he’s lucky he still has his sight.

Apropos of nothing—Scandalist suggests saying you “have to Shia LaBeouf” the next time you head to the bathroom after a hearty meal. It’s French, and therefore the classiest way to announce that you’re going to take a huge shit.

[Photo: WireImage]

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Did Janet Jackson’s Brother Say She Suffers From Vertigo?

Randy Jackson—no, not American Idol‘s “dawg”-catcher, the Jackson 5 member—doesn’t want you thinking his sister Janet is canceling shows because no one wants to see her aging ass in an unflattering Tron-like body suit singing a decade’s worth of songs no one cares about. EUR is reporting that Randy told MichaelJacksonInsider.com “Janet is doing okay, she suffers from vertigo,” possibly explaining why she recently went to the hospital during a soundcheck.

We don’t see anything from Randy on that site (or anything that suggests it’s been updated since 2007), so it’s hard to put a lot of stock in the quote. But it’s no less absurd a theory than the one that says she’s carrying Jermaine Dupri‘s love child. After all, he’s the one that got sick on her.

[Photo: WireImage]