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With Forthcoming Album, Jay-Z Reignites Beef With Oasis Leader

Someone give these two their own Odd Couple show already. Jay-Z and OasisNoel Gallagher have been at each other for months now and it’s anyone’s guess how it will end up. The original dispute began when Gallagher voiced his opinion that Jay shouldn’t play the Glastonbury Festival. After a guitar-playing Jay-Z blew the roof off at fest (too bad the YouTube clip was removed!), the two traded barbs. And the beef ain’t over: Leaked snippets from Jay’s forthcoming album reveal that he’s upping the ante. Read our timeline for specifics.

April 14, 2008 — Gallagher tells BBC News that the Glastonbury Festival’s choice to book Jay-Z as a headliner was a poor one. “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. If you start to break it then people aren’t going to go. I’m sorry, but Jay-Z? No chance. Glastonbury has a tradition of guitar music and even when they throw the odd curve ball in on a Sunday night you go ‘Kylie Minogue?’ I don’t know about it. But I’m not having hip-hop at Glastonbury. It’s wrong.”

June 28 — Jay-Z performs the Oasis song “Wonderwall” at Glastonbury in mock tribute to his now-nemesis in front of 75,000 fans, adding “My name is Jay-Z and I’m pretty fucking awesome.”
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Who’s The Gay Rapist Actor? Scandalist Has Its Suspects

Page Six did everybody in the gossip world a huge favor earlier this week by posting a blind item about a closeted summer movie star who violently raped his ex-boyfriend and paid for the victim’s silence with a half million. Plenty of informed conjecture has followed, with one helpful tipster claiming Will Smith was the one getting jiggy with it, albeit consensually. Other names tossed around include Christian Bale, Vin Diesel and James Franco. Zzz. You think any of these celebs could keep this a secret? Think outside the box, people!

With this slow news week coming to a close, Scandalist is proud to share its theories on all this hubbub and hearsay. Proud.

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Miley Cyrus Pushing For Nude Movie Role, Must Hate Clothes

Someone needs to explain to Miley Cyrus the difference between an adult career and an Adult career. MSNBC says that the 15-year-old amateur photographer is looking to play “a lovable, lost suburban girl who descends into a life of reckless partying and promiscuity” in a film adaptation of the novel Undiscovered Gyrl. “There would definitely be nude scenes,” says their source.

Far be it from us to suggest that young actresses suppress their dreams of artistic growth and leaked screen caps, but Miley Cyrus is fifteen years old. What’s the bloody rush? Anne Hathaway waited till her early twenties to whip out Ella’s enchanted in Havoc and Brokeback Mountain. Can’t Cyrus start with some smoking and swearing? Maybe a wet T-shirt in a horror movie? Showing your underage goodies in even the classiest movie doesn’t guarantee much of a career. Just ask American Beauty‘s Thora Birch.

If Billy Ray or somebody doesn’t slow her down, Miley’s going to wind up like Linda Blair. [Source: MSNBC; Photos: X-17 Online]

Related Content: Miley Cyrus To Charge Admission To Her Sweet 16

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Heidi And Seal: Picture Perfect In Paris

Sans children, Heidi Klum and Seal have been gallivanting around Paris giving Rihanna and Chris Brown some competition for cutest couple in the world. They’ve been touring the City of Light for the last couple days, snapping photos and enjoying some wine at a sidewalk cafe. We at Scandalist are “très jaloux.”

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Citizen Scandal: Half-Ton Murder Suspect Weighs Heavy On Court

On Thursday, 27-year-old Mayra Gonzalez of Edinburgh, Texas was indicted for murdering her 2-year-old nephew, Eliseo Gonzalez, Jr., earlier this year. But even if she’s found guilty, she may never go to prison—or even court.

No, she hasn’t skipped town. Gonzalez is exactly where she was when she allegedly committed the murder, and hasn’t left since. Mayra weighs 1,000 pounds and can’t fit through the door of her house.

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Katie Holmes Not Boosting Broadway Buzz

Being one of the most talked about women in the world doesn’t always guarantee success, as Katie Holmes‘ Broadway producers are finding out. Holmes is currently rehearsing for a turn on the Great White Way in Arthur Miller’s All My Sons, and although previews don’t begin until September 18, ticket sales have not been boosted by her star power. You’d think that the public might consider shelling out, if only for a possible glimpse of husband Tom Cruise or baby Suri, but no dice. And despite the fact that John Lithgow and Dianne Weist also star, the hoards of 3rd Rock From the Sun and Edward Scissorhands fans just aren’t showing up either. The play has had under $1 million in ticket sales — not a lot by Broadway standards. Of course sometimes casting a star does work, in 2006 Julia Roberts‘ role in Three Days of Rain, sold out in one day.

At the very least, having Katie in NYC until January means the paparazzi will have plenty of opportunities to capture her out and about, lavishing Suri with Swarovski-encrusted binkies and taking her on pony rides down Fifth Avenue. We hope.

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50 Cent To Female Journalists: Lick My Balls!

Let it never be said that 50 Cent doesn’t support women in media. Responding to claims that former Source editor Kim Osario is writing about their affair in a tell-all, the rapper/entrepreneur offered this chivalrous advice to would-be writers:

“I messed with Kim a while ago, she licked on my balls before the deal…when they weren’t worth much. She licked my balls once and now she’s a star. I got some advice for all aspiring women journalists, it may not make the best sellers list, but lick my balls and you are on the road to riches!”

Damn, Fiddy! Are you Alan Alda or something? That’s an even more generous offer than those vibrating replicas of your penis. Maybe you could sponsor a Take Your Daughter To 50 Cent’s Balls day. [Yo! Raps]

[Photo: Getty Images]

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Fashion WTF: Aubrey O’Day

Where’s PETA when we need them? Danity Kane‘s frontwoman attended the Traitor premiere last night in L.A. and was channeling her inner … Chyna Doll? Jenna Jameson? Albino Big Bird? Aubrey O’Day needs a serious scrubbing; from the collagen to the self-tanner to the animal hides, this chick is an environmental hazard.

[Photos: Getty Images]